Respecting Mistress

Complaining about the cane

2012-03-16T16:46:00.000-07:00

It was a Thursday. Our day for maintenance punishment so I was sent to fetch the cane.

Mistress fastened me to the bench and started caning me with the thin Dragon – full force with the thin Dragon, as our normal rules.

I’d not been caned in weeks and this hurt so much. I’d only had six, I was moaning and saying I couldn’t take it. I said I felt sick, which I did.

Then Mistress laid into me with six more, rapid fire and really hard. Then tossed the cane aside, bent down to unfasten me from the bench and told me to pack everything away. “I’m not putting up with this fuss,” she said. “You asked for weekly punishment. You said all along you felt there was a need for severity. I agree. But, I’m not putting up with this fuss any more. If you’re going to whine like that you can go without. Go on, pack it all away.”

How could I be so stupid? We both knew punishment was overdue. And even if it wasn’t, it was a Thursday so I was due was maintenance punishment .

I left it a while and then went back into the lounge and apologised to Mistress for my pathetic behaviour.

I felt very down. With myself for being such a wimp. But more for letting Mistress down.

That night in bed she knew I wasn’t feeling good about myself. “It’s no good you being grumpy. You brought this on yourself. You know you needed a dose of the cane to bring you back in line but you blew it. No one else. I’m fed up with your moaning.

“I don’t want any talking from you during punishment sessions – do you understand? You told me that years ago when you used to have appointments with professional disciplinarians, you never moaned and took your punishment well. So why has your behaviour slipped?”

I explained that in all my previous experience, I was caned with thicker canes and with longer breaks between strokes. Mistress uses the thin Dragon which has a biting sting and barely leaves any time between strokes.

“If that’s the case I’ll use the thicker canes and give you longer between strokes.”

I told Mistress that was her prerogative but that I felt our punishment sessions, although severe were exactly what were needed and it was me who should change – not the severity of the punishment.

“If that’s the case, then I think we need to gag you in future,” she stated. “I want you to get one for next Thursday’s punishment because I don’t want to hear your incessant moans. Is that understood?”

I meekly responded with a “yes Mistress”, and snuggled close. Her authority made me melt. I hugger her tight.

“It’s no good you thinking that’s going to make any difference. You can get back on your side of the bed.”

It’s now Friday evening and there’s been an uneasy atmosphere in the house because I expected Mistress would complete Thursday punishment at any time.

However nothing happened so I asked if I could go to the computer room while Mistress watched TV. I was granted permission but typing this up was interrupted by Mistress coming into the room to find out what I was doing. She told me to bend over the chair and pulled my plastic pants down and tucked my mackintosh into my belt.

“I didn’t say you could get changed. And you’ve been up here far too long.”

I got a couple of dozen whacks with the airbrush then I’ve no idea how many with the light leather tawse. Again, I didn’t take them well.

I’d taken the tawse, kneeling on all fours and was still there, looking up at Mistress.

“It’s Mother’s Day on Sunday. We’re going to see my Mother in the afternoon and when we get back home in the evening, I’m going to make sure you get the punishment you should have had Thursday.

I feel that I may suffer on Sunday. But we won't have the new gag by then. The thing worrying me is not the severity of punishment I'm facing, but whether I can suffer in silence this time?

Fantasy or future DD reality?

2012-03-12T13:03:00.002-07:00

If you asked me if I still fantasise about corporal punishment, even though I’m living in a female led relationship that uses CP as a means of maintaining discipline in the house, I’d deny I did.

But that’s obviously not true since I often spend time thinking about Mistress and what disciplinary sanctions she might apply. We discuss my thoughts, and hers, on the subject regularly but you would have to say that the initial thought process is part based on fantasy – even though we are living the lifestyle.

I’ve not blogged in a while because, as usual, Mistress and I have both been incredibly busy so there’s been very little time spent focussing on the domestic discipline side of our relationship. We’ve seen so little of each other in the past few weeks, that there’s very little I could have done wrong to necessitate correction,

although I’m surprised Mistress hasn’t used some disciplinary methods on me when we have been together purely as a means to relieve some of the stresses she been under with her work. She’s done it before.

So, I was driving home from an appointment today, wondering how different our flr would if we ever managed to be in a position to retire. Mistress has always told me that if we did get to spend more time together then she would be a lot stricter because sho knows how much it takes to keep me on track.

Only the other day she said, “I don’t like it when you come home after you’ve been on the road for a few days. You always seem far less submissive. It’s not good.”

I’d not really thought about it before but that particular day Mistress cooked tea when I got in and I have to admit I’d left dishes unwashed. I’d also not kept her supplied with cups of tea. After a long day I was happy to sit there and be waited upon – but that is not how the dynamic of our relationship is meant to be. The things I was taking for granted were only small things but those small things never get overlooked when I’m at home for any real length of time.

But it was my general attitude, according to Mistress, that annoyed her most. “You seem to be more argumentative, and always have to have the last say when you come home from a business trip,” she said. “I prefer it when you are more submissive and are more attentive towards me.”

I’ve never been aware of it before but I’m sure there’s something in what Mistress says. I’m not making excuses – because I know I’m in the wrong anyway, but it does take me time to adapt from being in a business-type environment where you have to hold your own to being at home as the submissive partner in a DD relationship.

Mistress said that the one thing I should do in future is drop my bags etc inside the door and immediately go the room she’s in and prostrate myself before her. We’ve yet to try it.

I know I shouldn’t need to be reminded of my place – but it’s the reality of life that living an flr is hard work and it probably explains why I normally get a good dose of the cane not long after getting back home. That’s always a sure way to bring out my submissive side.

But getting back to my thoughts about how things might be in future, I pondered how life might be.

My first thought is that Mistress would have me working more like a servant – at least at set times of the day. I could see preparing her bath, getting breakfast, tidying the kitchen – every day. I could see my having cleaning chores every day. And have a set routine of preparing the evening meal every night. And I could see spending much more time pampering her than I do.

I do all these but only sporadically because of current outside influences. I could see working to a strict list of chores.

I can also imagine Mistress insisting on me wearing uniform every morning and every night, like she does now when I’m normally doing the house cleaning. But I can also imagine she’d insist on me wearing certain items from our fetish wardrobe in public – such as my plastic pants - which she’s also done before “just to help remind you of your place”

I suppose it’s just more of the same that we already do - but on a daily basis, 24/7.

I can also see her been much more severe with corrective measures, not just with the cane, but introducing a range of methods such as tawseing the hands, back whipping. They are things we’ve discussed but don’t use currently because they are not really suitable in our current lifestyle.

So is this all pure fantasy?

Of course it is - but based on how our relationship works, and knowing Mistress’ enthusiasm for having someone to do all the necessary chores she hates, then I’d say she would positively encourage that side of our relationship.

So how would we both feel, living that kind of intense flr?

I’ve seen how Mistress enjoys me in a submissive serving role and how her dominant nature blossoms. I wouldn’t wish to assume anything because no one can predict the future but, bearing in mind her past comments, I think she would love to assume total control of the house and have me working as her maid/servant.

How would I feel about that? I’m a little frightened of the Mistress I might unleash but I also know how much I love her dominant persona so I’m prepared top take the risk. We are already well down the road.

But I also know deep down, that there would be times when I’d rebel against any hint of 24/7 authority but then that’s why we employ a domestic discipline regime in our home. Both of us know my weakness. And we both know that how effective the cane can be to overcome them. I’m not saying it cures my faults totally. Corporal punishment, no matter how harsh, is not 100% effective – or hasn’t been so far. But we both know it helps keep me on track which also pleases Mistress.

And what if the punishments became really harsh and I struggled to take them? I know how I felt when we’ve had boot-camp style weekends. Servitude can be very taxing.

Mistress would never use excessive methods but I’m well aware that she would relish pushing me beyond my current limits.

I actually hope that is the case – and it should be the case - because the one thing we’ve agree upon from the outset is that punishment has to be a corrective process. And part of that process is suffering. It’s certainly not pleasure – though I’ll not deny there are elements of the process, before and after, that have sexual overtones.

However, if the regime does go where I see it heading, then I can forsee times when I really won’t want to submit to the cane. But as our current regime stands, I have no option. That happened in the past and we are beyond that now.

I am under no illusion that my only course would be to suffer the consequences and realise that Mistress would only use such harsh correctives measures because she loves me and she thinks I both deserve it and need it.

I believe that level of trust is something us submissive males have to accept once we have invited our loving wife or partner to follow this path.

In the meantime though, I’ve just had a text from Mistress saying she has not eaten and expects me to be in “servant mode” when she arrives home at around 9.30pm. I must go and get changed into something suitable and prepare her meal.

Can caning be fun?

2012-02-19T05:59:00.000-08:00

There’s an interesting thread on British Caning Society forum which asks the question, ‘is caning meant to be fun?’

It’s an interesting question, and while I'm sure it can be for some, in fact many, I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my entire life when I actually wanted caning to be fun.

I’ve always wanted to experience punishment – full-blooded strokes - and that goes back to my schooldays when I feared the cane – and was lucky (unlucky?) to escape it.

I used to spend hours wondering what the experience would be like – not just pain of the punishment itself but the whole episode when you realise that you are going to be caned and the hanging around outside the head’s office waiting for the appointment, to the after effects and public humiliation of everyone knowing that you had been caned.

I still have thoughts about coproal punihsment on a daily basis, even though I’m punished fairly regularly but I always spend time like now, contemplating just how severe my next beating will be. And I can’t deny I derive (and always have derived) intense sexual pleasure from those thoughts. But with the way our DD has developed, I also get very nervous now as another appointment with the cane approaches because I know just how hard Mistress has learned to cane.

I know, for example that Mistress and I have been unable to carry out our past two weekly maintenance session. Theoretically that’s 72 strokes owning. Then there’s one particular day that I misbehaved and was told in no uncertain manner that Mistress would deal with my faults very severely.

So I’m pretty certain that later this evening I’m going to suffer quite considerably. It won’t be fun but on the one hand I’m looking forward to Mistress correcting me. I’m overdue punishment and I’m starting to fee that ‘need’.

On the other I scared just how far she will go. 36 strokes is pretty awful but two lots plus extras is not nice and if Mistress is in the mood for beating me, then I will suffer. On the other hand she may be in one of her lenient moods and then possibly, I’ve worried for no reason.

I suppose the flip side to question is whether Mistress thinks caning can be fun. She takes her responsibilities very, very serious - but does derive pleasure from it too. I asked Mistress for her views and she said, "I don't think it's fun - though sometimes you make me want to laugh when you're wriggling around making such a fuss when I've barely touched you.

"I think our punishment sessions are quite serious affairs becasue we use them to maintain a form balance in the house and any real issues are dealt with quickly.

"I enjoy punishing you because it's something you need in your life. You've always needed it so I hope this fills the void in your life you had before we met.

"But you also deserve punishment because it reminds you that you have to have respect at all times and it's a good method of keeping you on track. When we go too long without it, you start to get very slack in your attitude at home. So when I cane, and cane you hard, and you start moaning I know the message is getting through. And for several days aftwerwards I can see a change in you."

Intensity of a DD lifestyle

2012-02-08T07:33:00.000-08:00

‘There is always Sunday,’ I said in my last blog post, suggesting that I felt Mistress’ weekend of keeping me under close scrutiny and punishing me for everything last fault that annoyed her wasn’t over. I wasn’t wrong because I got another dose of the cane that evening for flippancy. Another 36 strokes. And even though Mistress was in a more lenient mode, it still stung on top of my rather angry looking collections of welts and bruises.

Ken, who pens the excellent blog http://spankedbymylady.blogspot.com commented on my post that he is amazed how intense the relationship Mistress and I have.

It’s true that we do have some days where things are very intense. But other times there can be days of no mention of our DD regime, although the Mistress tags is rarely dropped in the house these days and I keep on top of me chores the best I can.

This weekend was typical of the intensity of our DD relationship though where, as I’ve said, I’m under close scrutiny and suffer for virtually every small fault – as well as the major ones.

It’s weekends like that which help bring our flr back into focus an I have to say that it’s a source of intense satisfaction I feel living days like that. I’m not sure my bottom could survive more than a long weekend of that kind of treatment but I really do relish the times when Mistress adopts an authoritarian air. It’s difficult to explain why I get such a buzz from bossed around, checked-up on and then beaten when things aren’t to Mistress’ satisfaction.

But I really admire the effort she puts into the DD side of things now. It’s not an easy lifestyle, in fact its downright challenging but it really adds a spark to our time together at home. And, like Ken said, it can become very intense.

Close to tears again

2012-02-04T15:21:00.001-08:00

Tonight’s punishment felt special. Special because Mistress was really laying on the cane as hard as she could. My initial 36 strokes left me close to tears once more. This has suddenly become the norm – my nearly crying during a punishment - and I wonder why.

I used to be able to take the 36, maybe with some moans, but now I’m on the verge of crying each time.

Mistress sat in the chair beside the bench and I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed after the 36 were delivered. So often lately I’m been close to being tipped over the edge of what I can take. I need to know what’s on the other side.

Mistress sat tapping the cane against her leg, waiting, I suspect, for my breathing to settle back to some kind of normality. As I lay there face down, breathing hard, I could smell the delightful aroma of the pvc jacket I still had on. I felt a faint stirring in my loins.

I was very aware my bottom was burning. Not the overall heat you associate with a normal intense beating – but the feeling of a series of red-hot wires laid in a hap-hazard fashion on the buttocks. I’ve never quite experience such a similar feeling. But maybe that’s because I’d not been left for a few seconds for the pain to sink in like this.

Then Mistress got to her feet and started again. I wondered how I could take this next onslaught but with 12 strokes done, it was over and I was released from my bonds.

Mistress was annoyed with herself. There was one stroke, still in a ‘safe area’ but separated from the closely packed other 47. She prides herself on accuracy.

“That’s it for the cane. Put it away……And fetch the bath brush.”

I did so with faint heart. As much as the cane cuts with a stinging pain, I hate the thudding thwack of the bath brush. It’s just sting on sting and there’s normally no recovery period.

I had to kneel over the leather footstool and take a good 36 with it. But if felt like nothing after the thin dragon.

I had to kneel before the sofa Mistress was inclined on. “And why are you being punished extra?”

I recited my faults and looked suitably sorry. Mistress interpreted my look as flippancy.

“You want more I presume? Fetch the tawse.”

In days past I would have argued my case. These days I accept exactly what Mistresss commands.

It’s a three-tailed paddle in triple thickness leather - more than a school-type tawse.

I didn’t really want more but this time I had to kneel on the footstool, which made my bottom cheeks really tight

I received two batches of 12. Again, this is normally a stinging punishment. This time it was a fleabite except two that were delivered near the tops of my thighs on fresh flesh. They stung.

I was ordered to kneel before the sofa again.

“Is that enough now?”

She wasn't really asking.

“Yes, thank you Mistress.”

Mistress commanded me to look at her. For several seconds she stared into my eyes. I didn’t move a muscle.

“You had better behave the rest of the evening or you will have to get that cane back out.”

“Yes Mistress. Thank you for punishing me Mistress.”

By now my bottom was sore and swollen and I certainly didn’t want to do anything that might earn me another session with that cane.

Postscript: I thought my punishment was over for this evening but I was summons back to the footstool twice. Mistress was very annoyed by the length of time I’ve taken to write this update and gave me 12 more quick-fire strokes with the tawse for not paying enough attention to Mistress’ demands. And then I got 12 for not thinking to offer to make Mistress another cup of tea. That tawse has never been so effective as those two quick fire applications. Thankfully the cane stayed in the cupboard. But there's always Sunday.

DD pillow talk in the early hours

2012-02-04T08:16:00.000-08:00

It’s 2.35am. I know because I’ve just checked the time on my phone. I can’t sleep in this stuffy hotel room.

“What time is it?”

“2.35 Mistress.”

“Why did you wake me up?”

“I didn’t Mistress. I just checked the time.”

“You’re arguing with me. Not good. The light woke me. You’re not doing very well are you? Twice today you were in the wrong place on the elevator. And you let me get separate from you on the metro. Now this. I’m not happy.”

Mistress seems to revel more and more with this authoritarian attitude. I asked her a while back if she was getting fed up with me because I wasn’t sure how to take her now-found role. Was she doing it purely for my benefit or was I just really annoying her?

On the contrary she said, she loved me dearly but if I wanted a DD relationship, then I’d have to expect to be treated in the way I’d told her I wanted to be treated.

I suppose its conversations like that one – and this latest one at 2.35 am which make you realise that you really are living a DD lifestyle.

The rule we’ve had for some time now is to always stand below Mistress on the way down on the elevators, and behind her on the way up. That way Mistress is always able to look down on me. I got caught up in the crowd and was too late getting on the elevator to getting the correct place.

The other thing is that I must always pay attention to Mistress and look out for in the crowds when we’re in the city. We had become separated that evening and some ignorant oaf had bounced into her as he rushed for his train. My fault.

This discussion continued in bed. “It’s always something with you. When are you going to learn? You’ve already got a maintenance punishment this weekend. And now you’ve earned a much more serious beating.”

“Yes Mistress. Thank you Mistress.”

Her air of authority, even in the dead of night, encourages the usual thrill/ fear surges within me and when Mistress clamps her thigh across my lower regions there’s obvious evidences of my state of mind.

“It’s no good getting excited. I’m not happy. You failed to bring the bath brush as I’d instructed. You would have suffered terribly if I’d had that. But you not getting any satisfaction will be punishment enough for now.

We can save the real punishment for when we get home can’t we?”

Why no bath brush? It’s too noisy for hotel room beatings. We both knew that really. I read a ‘loopy johnny’ (wooden handle with thin rubber loops) is the implement for hotel use. It's quiet, but effective, those on forums insist. Anyone with experience of one?

With that, Mistress turned over and drifted back off to sleep. I’m left with an erection I’m not allowed to touch and a heart that’s racing so fast I’ll never sleep.

When the alarm finally goes off at 7.00am I’m feeling exhausted, but there’s still a wave of euphoria of being with such a fantastic woman in such an intoxicating relationship. Wouldn’t swap it for the world.

Punishment Sunday

2012-01-31T03:13:00.001-08:00

I wasn’t wrong in my assumption that we hadn’t finished with the cane for the weekend.

Sunday was an interesting day. Mistress and I enjoyed a pleasant few hours in the city. Driving there Mistress wanted to discuss our DD regime. Between ducking in and out of shops, she discussion carried on over breakfast, and again over afternoon tea and told me that she still wasn’t happy with my continued ‘negative attitude about everything.’

I had made a comment about one shop we were in which Mistress construed to be negative. I got a lecture there and then about my behaviour and how Mistress felt embarrassed by my negative comments when we were in shops.

She suggested I keep my mouth shut unless I had something positive to say. It was pretty obvious what my fate would be later.

It was a nerve-wracking day, not wanting to step out of line, trying to remember one’s place but that’s what made it so interesting and I could tell Mistress was really relishing the authoritarian attitude she was carrying off rather spectacularly well.

Sure enough as I drove the car into the drive back home she said gleefully, “Oh look, the neighbours are out, we don’t need to worry about the noise, do we?”

As soon as we got inside the door Mistress told me to get myself changed and bring a selection of canes to the punishment room. I was secured over the bench and the caning started. First was the crooked-handled cane and 12 strokes. Normally I can take four before I start to struggle with as the pain builds. With some serious resolve I managed to get to six before starting to moan but boy was she laying it on today compared to the previous day’s session.

Then she picked the short, but thick koboo cane. Normally it’s quite a thuddy, dead feeling but these were hard strokes and stinging like mad.

Then Mistress said, “I’m giving you 12 more, in quick succession. I suggest you prepare yourself. There’s nothing really to do but hang on tight and take the pain. Even though I’m secured I can feel my hips and bottom cheeks dancing around under those rapid strokes. You start by trying to count the strokes but by three you can’t keep up and then it’s a case of hanging on to the end of the dozen. Imagine 24 or 36 like that. Well I can’t really. I’d probably lose control completely.

Suddenly it was all over and Mistress put the tip of the thin Dragon under my nose. There was blood on it. She said: “That’s a shame isn’t it? We’ve broken the skin. Now I’ll have to stop.”

It was only a tiny graze but Mistress doesn’t like to draw blood.

“But I think you’ve learned now that this negative attitude of your really does have to stop. And you had better beware I am going to keep correcting you until you start to have a more positive outlook.”

Act crabby. Get caned

2012-01-28T07:32:00.000-08:00

Over two weeks without punishment didn’t mean I was suddenly the ultimate submissive. And it’s not been the reason for a lack of updates.

Work, followed by illness, followed by more work, put our FLR on the back burner – just when it had really taken off again.

In my moments of weakness, Mistress was a tower of strength, tending to everything in the house that I’ve not been well enough to do. But I’d been a bit crabby and Mistress told me that I’d had better watch my tongue because ill or not, she was making a note of any faults as usual and I would pay for them.

She also pointed out that there would be payback for all the time I’ve been either sat on the couch ‘playing at being too sick to cope with my chores’ or away working, leaving Mistress to fend for herself.

Now I’m back in circulation to start tending to my duties, which in turn I suspected meant a return to a more stricter regime in the house that had become the norm.

I missed my maintenance punishment on Thursday. In fact I’ve missed two Thursday’s now so I was a bit worried that I might be due a double dose.

Over the past couple of days I contemplated the fact that Mistress doting on me would soon cease and I would be back in servitude – which I was looking forward to. And I would soon be re-acquainted with the cane – which I was also looking forward to.

My desire to be caned has actually become quite strong over the past two days. My crabbiness was a display of ungratefulness toward Mistress, so I deserved to suffer for that, but also I had that ‘need’ – you know, when you begin to fantasise about how severe you’d like that next thrashing to be.

I’ve not had that ‘need’ for a while because being punished on a regular basis had effectively dulled any desire for extra beatings. In fact, as you recall, I was working hard to avoid any such extra sessions.

In my fantasy, but also in reality, I was certainly hoping that Mistress would afford no leniency when she did employ the cane again. I’ve thought of that a lot about leniency since my last session with the cane and wrote briefly about it last time. I don’t know what others think but I don’t believe leniency should have a place in a DD relationship because the whole point is that you are punished as a means of correction for faults committed.

I should not have had any concerns. I didn’t have to wait long to be caned.

We were having a quiet wander to the local shops and I made a couple of innocuous but negative comments as we chatted. Mistress suddenly pulled me up sharp and said I’d better change my attitude by the time we got back home.

Inside the shop she again picked up on something negative I said and the minute we got inside the door back home she told me to fetch the cane. I gave a quizzical look but said nothing. Mistress caught my look and said: “I’m fed up with you showing me up in public with your negative attitude.”

Mistress had either picked up my ‘need’ or had a need of her own to satisfy and this trumped-up charge was her excuse to beat me.

I didn’t argue though and was secretly delighted it was Mistress that took the initiative and not me having to ask for a beating. It's excting how much Mistress now controls this side our our lives.

I suffered. It was a normal 36-stroke maintenance-type caning but in batches of 12, 8 and then 16 for some reason. I could tell the strokes weren’t as hard as Mistress is capable of. However maybe it was because I’ve not been caned for a couple of weeks, or maybe because I’m not fully myself, but it stung like blazes.

Mistress insisted she was being 'leninet' but my bottom was quite well marked with those lovely white stripes, edged in a dark red you get with reasonably hard strokes.

“Did you enjoy that?” Mistress asked.

“Yes, thank you Mistress. Did you?”

“I will if it’s help curbed your negative attitude. It is so tiresome.”

Mistress told me I had better behave myself for the rest of the weekend but to put the cane away “for now.”

She’s gone out to meet up with a friend for a shopping afternoon but judging by her demeanour, I don’t think she’s finished using the cane this weekend. Wishful thinking on my part? Not at all. It’s just that I’ve noticed that the further we travel along this road, the more Mistress engages with her position of authority and the more she enjoys inflicting a good thrashing.

When the cane doesn’t hurt enough

2012-01-11T07:36:00.000-08:00

Mistresses business trip was cancelled so my maintenance punishment took place as usual on last Thursday evening.

If I’m truthful, Mistress was much more lenient with me than of late and the 36 was easy to take. Part of me was relieved, part was disappointed. I suppose I wanted to recreate that intense feeling of the New Year’s Eve final caning but I know my bottom was still quite bruised and Mistress, despite enjoying the act of punishing me, is always concerned about health issues and probably thought it best to err on the side of leniency this once.

The other point is that there’s some strange cleansing in the severity of a punishment that leaves you feeling that the slate is now clean and you can start afresh. You feel contrite but happy and always more subservient. Granted, it’s perhaps not a feeling that lasts as long as it should but it is massively disappointing when you don’t reach that level. A ‘soft’ punishment is almost worst than no punishment at all because you expect to suffer for your faults and you’re inbuilt safety mechanisms are all in place but hen suddenly they are not needed.

I’m not complaining. If Mistress wished to beat me with a feather, then that would be her choice. I’m merely making an observation and I wonder if any of you submissives reading this have experienced the same kind of feelings?

Having said that, there’s no let-up in the overall tone of our regime. Last Friday night shopping, for example, I was brought sharply to heel after wandering of down one isle while Mistress went along another. When I looked up at the end of the isle there was Mistress beckoning me towards her.

“That’s a black mark,” she said. “You don’t go off doing your own thing, do you? You want to be submissive? Well start acting like one and follow Mistress around the shop, looking at what I wish to look at.”

I replied with a ‘Sorry Mistress’ as low as I could whisper in the hope that no one in the shop was paying attention to Mistresses lecture. I was embarassed but also a little bit excited but the very public lecture. I feared punishment when we got home, at least a dozen from the tawse, but nothing ensued.

It took me back to my schooldays when I was pulled out of a gym lesson for talking and expected the worst (the cane of course - but at least the plimsole) but got off with a lecture. It was like a let-down but also a relief - at the time.

Mistress told me there would be no punishment during the weekend because she had many things to deal with and didn’t want to be sidetracked. I gave a little smile, thinking, that things might ease up a little on the discipline front.

But then Mistress added: “But don’t think you’ll get away with anything. I will make a note of any bad behaviour and correct it later.”

I recall my stomach churned a little at the prospect of a lengthy list of faults to be corrected but I resolved to try and measure up better.

It’s since been a busy working week and relatively quiet on the DD front. As they say on TV traffic reports, so far there have not been any major issues to report – although Mistress may of course see things a different way and be totting up faults ready to rectify them in our next maintenance session.

Re-acquainted with the tawse

2012-01-04T09:31:00.000-08:00

Be careful what you wish for they say.

It was me who asked Mistress to reintroduce our strict flr and Mistress has welcomed the New Year with gusto as far as our domestic discipline regime is concenrned. Not one piece of slack behaviour on my part is being overlooked. As a result my bottom is a bit tender.

It was well marked from the heavy caning on New Year’s Eve so Mistress is using the tawse instead for those immediate punishments – though I’m told the cane will still be used for my maintenance caning.

Monday evening I spent too much time on the computer before checking with Mistress if she had any demands. I got 12 whacks with our heavy leather, three-tailed tawse.

And when I got home from work early today, I was greeted with a stern face and told I’d earned 12 strokes for not responded to Mistresses text. And then earned 12 more for what Mistress said was ‘pulling a face,’ instead of saying, ‘sorry Mistress. Thank you Mistress.’

I need to be more attentive, more submissive and very careful.

I’ve just had the 24 whacks and my bottom is burning.

It’s a long time since I’ve felt the tawse on a regular basis. It’s a strange beast. Initially it feels much more bearable than the cane but after half a dozen whacks the burning stinging pain begins to build.

At least tomorrow’s maintenance has been postponed. Mistress is away on business so my caning will now take place on Saturday. I’ll have to be careful to avoid extras.

Boot camp New Year

2012-01-02T14:18:00.000-08:00

We had done all the festive socialising and had the few days away so New Year’s Eve and the following day turned into a very special two-day reinforcement of our flr rules.

We hadn’t planned it as such but it became an intense and very, very strict two-day boot camp.

I might have guessed the severity from the second I lingered too long in bed after being told to get up on New Year’s Eve. I was told to fetch the cane and got a good 12 cuts, face down on the bed.

Over breakfast Mistress told me that for the next two days I would be serving her and that I should be suitably attired in a ‘maid’s outfit’. She also said she wanted to discuss how to progress our regime.

Mistress instructed me to come up with a schedule for the evening, bearing in mind there were several issues outstanding. New Year’s Eve was already allocated at a maintenance punishment day – so that was 36 strokes of the thin Dragon from the outset. Mistress also reminded me there were my faults during our few days away that needed addressing, then there was an issue during shopping earlier in the day.

I went to get changed into a black pvc housecoat under which I wore tight-fitting pvc bloomers. I also wore flat court shoes and ‘regulation’ mop cap in black shiny pvc, edged in white lace. I felt suitably humiliated in such attire.

I washed the breakfast things then prepared the New Year’s Eve agenda which I presented to Mistress as follows:

18.00

Prepare meal

18.30

Maintenance punishment. 36 strokes, thin Dragon

19.30

Meal and discuss 2012 regime

20.00

Wash-up and tidy kitchen

20.30

Punishment for today’s faults. Main one was showing dissent over meal choice in M&S

21.00

Continue 2012 regime discussion and discuss my New Year’s Day chores

21.30

Punishment for holiday faults – main one was not stopping taking pictures when asked. Also disappointing Mistress in bed – twice!

It was mid-morning and instead of looking at the schedule I presented, Mistress told me to run her a bath. There’s something rather intimately special about helping bathe Mistress and then applying body lotion.

But my joy was short-lived. Mistress said I lingered too long in applying the cream in certain areas. 12 strokes of the cane followed immediately with Mistress still in her dressing gown.

We went shopping and then lunched out. Everything felt back to normal but as soon as we got home I was changed back into the ‘maid’s’ outfit and severity resumed, Mistress quietly issuing commands to do things around the house as I kept her topped up with tea.

Six o’clock came all too soon and by that time I was a bundle of nerves. I prepared out meal and reported to the lounge with the cane for my maintenance punishment. It was 36 as usual but Mistress delivered them in haphazard fashion leaving me almost begging for the next stroke at times.

Over dinner we discussed our 2012 resolutions at length, with long pauses, spent looking across the dinner table at each other, both wondering what the other was thinking. It was a surreal experience, both of us happily discussing quite heavy details about how my attitude could be improved – and what severity of correction might be required if not.

We broke off for Mistress to retire to the lounge while I cleaned the kitchen. Once finished it was time for a lecture about the day’s faults followed by another dose of the cane. 24 this time.

We continued the regime discussion. I made notes and typed the final draft which I presented to Mistress – and which you can see in a previous post. Mistress checked them and then dictated New Year’s Day’s chores. It was a lengthy list of cleaning duties and meal preparation.

The evening finished with more punishment. This time for the numerous faults during our few day’s away. I had no idea how many when Mistress secured me to the bench. Normally I’m caned in 12s with a brief break to recover. We got to 12 and the cane kept falling. The gap between strokes was so quick I didn’t have time to complete the mantra ’12 thank you Mistress’ but merely count the number.

I was suffering. We got to 24 and still no break. My voice had faded to a whisper and I felt my mouth change shape from one of steely determination to my lips curling downwards and beginning to tremble as one does just before tears begin to flow. ‘I can’t cry,’ I told myself but I could feel my shoulders shaking as I continued to whisper, 28, 29, 30.

Mistress reached 36 and stopped. I was released and dropped to my knees beside Mistress who was now stretched out on the couch. My shoulders were still shaking. My breathing was ragged and I had tears in my eyes. But there was no flood as I’d feared. But oh how I wanted to let go and weep – not for the pain but for the sheer joy of being whipped beyond my limit of endurance. This was something I’d wanted to experience ever since becoming aware of my masochistic self. I finally knew just how much I lusted after each terrible stroke that Mistress was so lovingly applying.

It was the first time I’d every experienced such feelings and I just wanted to hug and kiss Mistress and thank her for such care and attention. But Mistress told me to stop whimpering and pushed me away.

I understood. I think both of us were deeply embarrassed by my reaction and didn’t know how to deal with it. We went to bed and just cuddled quietly.

The next morning I was shooed out of bed to prepare breakfast. I didn’t linger this time!

I spent most of the day dusting, hovering, washing floors - and preparing food and cleaning the kitchen after meals. Mistress constantly checked my performance. I loved every minute of my chores. There was no more punishment.

That was just as well. My bottom still bore a mass of swollen welts from the previous day but late in the evening, when I was updating the blog, Mistress came into the computer room and saw the bath brush and tawse out on the side table.

‘Why are these out?’ she asked in a worryingly firm tone.

‘Just in case you needed to use them during the day Mistress,’ I offered.

‘I had no need to punish you today. You were a very good boy and did you chores well. However, as you took it upon yourself to get them out we had best make use of them.

So I went to bed with a burning bottom again. A couple of dozen with the bath brush and triple-tailed tawse meant I went to bed with a burning bottom again.

It was a stinging end to our impromptu boot camp, two days that we hope will set the trend for much better behaviour on my part this year. Two days very well spent.

New Year flr resolutions

2012-01-01T13:35:00.000-08:00

Millions of people take this time of the year to review their lives and come up with a set number of resolutions to live by in the New Year. And I’ve noticed already how many of those with female-led relationship blogs are doing likewise.

Mistress and I discussed our relationship at some length during our Christmas break and came up with six main points that we both think need addressing – so you could call them Six of the Best, our New Year’s Resolutions. All that reamins now is to see how long we stick to them.....

1 Mistress will carry allocate me a weekly allowance of £35 to cover the cost of essentials, namely lunches and petrol. I will keep receipts for all money spent and Mistress will review my account at the end of each week and top up the balance accordingly from my bank account. I will no longer be permitted to buy any luxury good without obtaining permission from Mistress first. This ruling is at my request to curb my continued over-spending.

2 In future I must adhere to the three tenants that our flr is based upon: ‘Never say no to Mistress.’ ‘Never question Mistress.’ ‘Mistress is always right.’ I must put Mistress first before thinking of myself. I will give Mistress more consideration and jump when Mistress demands my attention. This aim being to make me more attentive to Mistresses needs and requirements and to overcome my rather lethargic response to Mistresses commands. These rules apply in public as well as inside the home. Although we have an agreement never to disclose our flr in public Mistress will use a coded warning if I fail to meet the correct standards.

3 I will endeavour to eradicate the several bad habits I have that constantly annoy Mistress. The most important is to full accept that Mistress is in charge of the house and make no effort to take control of a situation – although I will be allowed an input of ideas if Mistress agrees. Other bad habits to correct include chewing my fingers while talking, shouting to Mistress from another room, interrupting Mistresses favourite TV shows, not taking the lead in planning our meals, not getting out of bed quick enough and setting my alarm unnecessarily early.

4 I will endeavour to keep Mistress informed of my work diary details so she is always aware of my movements and can plan around any periods I may be away from home. This is to ensure I keep Mistress informed of my work demands which are often subject to considerable changes of plan. I also need to remember to pay attention to Mistress even when we are miles apart.

5 On a trial basis Mistress will introduce supervised masturbation prior to maintenance punishment as a means to increase the severity of the punishment.

6 Mistress will now refer to me as Polly when I am on chores duty in the house. This follows my rather bad joke that Mistress should call me ‘Polly’, the amount of times she tells me to put the kettle on during a day.

FLR highs of 2011

2011-12-31T09:51:00.001-08:00

Mistress

Mistress never ceases to amaze me. She has warmed to our domestic discipline regime in a way a submissive male could only fantasize. Mistress agreed to enter into this lifestyle to please me but has taken it on to much higher levels that I could have hoped for. It’s been an amazingly selfless show of love and trust – which works both ways for us. As a result both sides of relationship – our vanilla one and our flr - continue to blossom and I can see them begining to merge into one.

Our FLR

We’ve had some ups and downs, and even went several weeks without even discussing the subject of our flr with one another but generally we’re both really happy with the way our domestic discipline regime is working out and this year we’ve made some massive strides forward. Even overcoming that horrible quiet period where neither of us showed any interest was a triumph in itself, and I think we’ve grown immeasurable as a result of it. I simply melt when Mistress exhibits her dominant side and what’s really good is that she now openly admits how much pleasure it gives her to have control over me – and how much she enjoys thrashing me with the cane. On my side I’ve still got a long way to go before I can truly call myself a submissive male but I’m working towards it and enjoying the experience, though I have to admit that Mistress is becoming ever more efficient with that cane to the point where I no longer encourage her to use it and do my utmost to avoid it.

Serving B’s blog

SB’s blog was an inspiration to me. Our journeys were so similar, which is why I think we connected so well and I always looked forward to ready about his and B’s latest exploits. With their relationship growing ever stronger, they decided to stop blogging so SB could concentrate on serving B. I miss their stories but wish them all the best in their lives together. And if you read this SB, drop me an email to catch up some time!

Quality Control

It’s a while since we bought anything from Quality Control but their canes have had plenty of use in our house so I wanted to say thank you to them for producing such fantastic quality equipment. Their Dragon canes, I swear are the most effective disciplinary tools. And, I speak from experience as we have Dragon canes from other sellers to compare!

Weathervain, London

I’ve always had a fascination for rubber and pvc rainwear and other associated fetish wear but none of it is suitable for outdoors. But this year I treated myself to a brand new rubber raincoat from Weathervain which means I now have at least one item of fetish-style clothing that I can wear in public! And what a joy it is…..

Loving DD’s Boot Camp

Loving DD’s Boot Camp Guide book was one of the fascinating reads of the 2011. Boot camp was something I’d read bits and pieces about in several blogs but there were so many unanswered questions about how the whole regime worked. Having read LDD’s book, I now understand just what an intense programme Boot Camp is for both parties – but also how satisfying it must be to work through.

Spanked by My Lady

Ken and Cora have a fantastic relationship and it’s great just keeping up with their latest activities. They treat their relationship with a lot of fun – stories of checking out paddles in hardware shops had me in stitches – and aren’t afraid if people get a hint of their female dominated relationship. Cora has a wonderful dress sense and seems to have a wicked disciplinary mindset. And Ken and I seem to have a lot in common with the way our submissive nature ebbs and flows – with a deep undercurrent that both of us love to submit to our ladies.

The Discipline Archive

Garrick Espieside’s book is a fascinating account of an experiment where corporal punishment was used to correct young adults in an institution. I love the way the book not only detailed how the system worked, but then interviewed several of the students and the warders for their accounts. It’s a fictional work but is so well thought out you almost want to believe it.

Confessions of a Dominant Woman

Ms Kathleen’s blog is a fascinating read because it gives an insight into the thoughts of a mistress who is in control of a female-led relationship. I’ve only recently discovered it but it’s one of my favourite places on the web.

Kealah’s Corner

Keelah’s blog is probably the most thought-provoking blog about domestic corporal punishment that I’ve read. She’s helped me with advice in the past, not to mention encouragement when I’ve been down and, her writings are another great source of inspiration to me.

Quality flr time

2011-12-30T14:38:00.000-08:00

The Christmas break has given Mistress and I some real quality time together and, not surprisingly, a chance to discuss our DD lifestyle in depth.

I managed to annoy Mistress early in Christmas day morning by not getting out of bed quick enough. Mistress was already out of bed and came back in the bedroom with the thin Dragon cane. I received 12 cutting strokes while laying flat on the bed. She reminded me that Christmas or not, normal rules of the house applied and she would be monitoring my behaviour as rigorously as ever.

Personally, I was delighted to be caned on Christmas Day. This very special gift underlined for me just how enthusiastic Mistress has become in her role as Head of House again.

We spent Christmas and Boxing Day with family but Mistress still picked a couple of quiet moments to remind me of minor faults – namely joining in some casual banter aimed at Mistress and failing to offer to do the washing up when we were guests and her parents’ house.

The next day we were heading for a few days at the coast and I was lucky to avoid the cane - again I’d not jumped out of bed quick enough for Mistresses liking. I was sat with my legs over the side of the bed,

rubbing my eyes. But technically I was not out of bed and Mistress was a little annoyed I didn’t move faster after my correction only two days earlier. To be honest, I was surprised I got away with it. I mentioned this in the car and Mistress said that I should not worry, everything was being logged and I would be ‘sorted out properly on New Year’s Eve.’

All week, Mistress has kept me on my toes. She has picked me up on issues, each time simply saying, ‘and that’s another 12.’

Probably my most stupid faux pas was to keep taking photos of Mistress after she had asked me to stop. We were in a ‘playful’ mood so I clicked away. She stopped me on the beach and, despite being among crowds of walkers, said, ‘when we get home and I’m caning you, and you are begging me to stop, I will simply carry on, just like you do when I ask you to stop. And we’ll see how you like being ignored. You really are going to suffer.’

With that, we walked on, along the beach – me in my rubber raincoat, Mistress in her pvc mackintosh, both of us in wellies by the way (!) - as if nothing had happened. Except my stomach was churning at the thought of what was now becoming a serious situation – but one I had only myself to blame for.

But even worse was failing to pleasure Mistress while we were away. My rather over-exited selfishness led to a premature end to several encounters shall we say, which, in turn led to Mistress not only being very disgusted by my lack of self control, but also to discussing methods of preventing this happening in future.

The worst option discussed was supervised milking to reduce my pent up sexual excitement which Mistress hopes will then allow me to concentrate more on her needs than trying to stop myself from coming too early.

We have discussed this in the past – at my suggestion – and Mistress dismissed the idea but it seems that after this past week she’s keen to give it a try.

But what worried me more than the humiliation of either being milked or milking myself in front of Mistress was discussing whether the milking should be carried out prior to punishment. We have read that, properly supervised, the milking is anything but pleasurable and its effect is to increase the psychological pain of the punishment.

Needless to say, we would be very interested to hear from any of you who have experience of milking as part of your flr regime.

Christmas Eve caning

2011-12-24T15:13:00.000-08:00

As Mistress and I cuddled up in bed last Thursday evening, I felt it only my duty to say something.

‘Mistress, we’ve…we’ve overlooked the maintenance punishment this evening.’

Mistress gave me one of her looks. ‘I’ve overlooked nothing. You will have your maintenance punishment when I decide. I realised we would be too busy tonight so we’ll deal with it another evening. I think Saturday evening will be perfect. We’ll have plenty of time then, won’t we?’

Christmas Eve? ‘Yes Mistress. Of course.’

I hadn’t been looking forward to Thursday at all. My bottom was still quite sore and bruised from the previous punishment and I’d ‘earned’ d the promise of 10 extra on top of the scheduled 36. It was my own fault entirely. I’d been rushing for work on Tuesday morning and was just getting in the car, when Mistress shouted at me that the bin needed to be put out. The ‘oh for goodness sake,’ wasn’t muttered under my breath quietly enough.

Mistress called me into the house and told me in no uncertain manner that my dissent had earned me ten extra strokes at my next punishment session. I think I got off lightly.

So when we went to bed on Friday night, Mistress casually reminded me that I was to be caned on Saturday at 6.00pm – 36 strokes plus the ten. At least I’d had a couple extra days for the bruising to go…..

We had a great Saturday, catching up on a few last minute shopping bits which meant lunch out in one of the better cafés in the town. But the thought of my caning was never far from my mind. We spent ages in one of the quiet corners just idly chatting about nothing in particular, indulging a bit of people watching, when Mistress snuggled closer and whispered, ‘when we get home I want you to get changed into something suitable for serving Mistress. Then you will prepare the evening meal.

Mistress meant a maid’s outfit we had bought way back when we used to just play some CP games; a very unstylish black overall which reached just below my knees, baggy bloomers which reached just above my knees, mop cap – all in shiny black pvc, edged in white lace - plus some very plain court shoes. It’s an outfit I feel ridiculous wearing, but Mistress knows this and always makes me wear for those prolonged sessions of household chores.

Once home I changed and reported to Mistress who was watching TV in the lounge. She set me to work preparing the meal. Once that was done I reported back to the lounge. And then I went over the bench, Mistress fastened my wrists and then pulled down my bloomers to apply 24 strokes of the cane to my bare bottom. As this was maintenance, Mistress only used the thin Dragon.

I then dished up the meal, ate with Mistress and then washed the dishes.

Job done I was then told to go and finish all the christmas wrapping I had failed to complete during the evening of my previous punishment. I forgot the wrapping paper for the children’s presents and Mistress, without me realsing, kindly brought it upstairs to the spare room where I was working.

I’d decided to wrap Mistresses presents first so when I heard her coming upstairs and I shouted at her to not come in the room. I greeted her at the door and snatched the paper from her. I got a very icey stare and Mistress went back down stairs.

Seconds later I heard, ‘You had better come down here – this instant.’

I knew what to expect. But the image before made my tummy churn. Mistress was stood in the middle of the room flexing the cane. ‘How dare you raise your voice to me,’ she said in a calm but very stern voice and, using the flimsy cane as a pointer, added, ‘get over the bench.’

I got 12 strokes, rapid strokes and Mistress wasn’t sparing me. The strokes came so fast I never had time to count them. I was gasping air and it was only once the twelfth one had struck that I let out a long, agonised grunt.

‘Stand up. What do you have to say for yourself?’

I thanked Mistress from the correction and apologised profusely. Mistress said, ‘I should think so,’ and waved me away.

Once I’d wrapped all the presents I reported back to the lounge and stood to attention. Mistress asked me what I was going to do now and I stupidly pointed out there was still 12 maintenance strokes and 10 extras to come.

‘You’re not topping from the bottom here are you? I will decide when you are punished. Now go and tidy the kitchen ready for tomorrow. I will come and inspect it when you are finished.’

I worked diligently, putting everything in it’s place, polishing work surfaces, washing the floor. No matter how much I enjoy the fantasy of being caned, the reality of any more than the 22 I had coming just did not appeal so I wanted to give no excuses for any more extras.

Thankfully my labours earned me no more but I still took the 22 I had owing. Mistress decided to apply them while I was lying face down on the bed. I swear the downward swing of the cane gave her much more ferocity. With no restrains to help me, I was grasping the bedsheets with all my strength to try and maintain position.

After punishment, Mistress allowed me to watch TV with her but then sent me to complete this blog update. We’re visiting friends and family during next week but Mistress has just told me my next maintenance punishment will not take place on Thursday but will be postponed to New Year’s Eve. You can sure I’ll be on my best behaviour so I don’t incur any extras in future.

In closing, I’d just like to thank everyone who takes time to read this blog. I thank you for your interest and support. And I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year.

Re-acquainted with the cane

2011-12-21T16:02:00.000-08:00

Our domestic discipline regime resumed at the weekend but I couldn’t have dreamed what I was letting myself in for when I wrote Mistress a note, asking if we could return to our old ways.

It’s been about two months since I refused a weekly maintenance session and, as I detailed in my last post, we had reverted to a totally vanilla lifestyle. We both were getting on fabulously – as always - but I felt I was slowly slipping back into my old lazy ways and even started to question Mistress on a couple of matters in the house, namely her untidy ways.

Normally I’d just clear up behind her and get on with things but the mess began to irk me and I said as much. And I didn’t clear things up half as quickly as I normally would. So I was disrespectful and lazy.

I wondered whether this was my way of bratting to stir Mistress into reintroducing the regime. But I thought about it and realized, I was just being downright unreasonable and stroppy.

As any of you living an flr lifestyle will know, that kind of behaviour was worthy of a thrashing but, with no regime in place, Mistress let it ride – and if anything became a little upset. I was knocking her confidence.

I think both of us were in place where neither knew how to progress. I really wanted Mistress to take the lead and reintroduce our regime. But I felt any suggestion to her – after my awful behaviour in refusing the weekly session all those weeks ago – would seem like me topping from the bottom, as I used to.

I think Mistress felt let down by my behaviour in the first place but didn’t want to suggest we pick up where we left off and risk the rejection a second time.

But some ten days ago, over a coffee, we were having a minor debate about some political issue when Mistress suddenly said, ‘don’t ague with me. I think what you need is some corporal punishment.’

I agreed but little more was discussed and when the subject wasn’t raised for a few days I decided to write Mistress a note, just before I embarked on an overnight business trip:

My darling Mistress,

You were so right yesterday in your assumption that I ‘need some corporal punishment.’ What I think we both need, as part of our relationship, is the domestic discipline regime we had in place – if anything, with much stricter rules in place.

You always seem happiest when you are in charge. You don’t appear to enjoy doing menial chores around the house. And you seem to enjoy the attention that is afforded you under our regime.

I’m happiest when you show you dominant side and, while I don’t like the menial tasks any more than you, I’m happy doing them if I feel it makes you happy. I also feel that our relationship in general is more intense and loving when you are in your more dominant mood.

I know it was my fault our regime came to a grinding halt and for that I am sorry, especially as you put some much effort into making it right. Sadly, I think my submissive instincts will always be tested and I will waiver from time to time, but I think we are better to pursue them rather than give up on them. I also think that perhaps if, in such moments of my weakness, if we could rely heavier on more emphasis of your dominant side it would carry us through.

One thing that’s clear is that strict use of the cane has been a most effective means of reminding of my place – as well as correcting my faults. I therefore humbly ask if we could revert to the DD regime we had in place but also examine how to improve it and, not only avoid a repetition of my bad behaviour that brought us to this situation, also look at how best to correct some of my many faults. And, as part of that regime, do you feel it would help if we re-introduced our weekly maintenance punishment session?

With love

xxx

On Friday Mistress told me I was going to be caned on Sunday. I didn’t argue. All day Saturday she was a very different person to the easy-going one I’d known for the past two months.

She just had an air of authority about her that put me on my guard. None of my flippancy was accepted. I was told to do things rather than asked. Not only was I set tasks, I was told what time they had to started and what time they had to be completed. And throughout the day she made references to my impending punishment.

Finally, when we lie in bed on Saturday evening she calmly told me I was going to get 60 strokes of the cane in my first session during the afternoon to remind me of our flr rules. Furthermore I was set a task of wrapping all the family christmas presents between 7.00pm and 8.00pm. Failure to do complete the task would result in punishment – and furthermore, I would subsequently punished for my faults during the period we had not adhered to the regime.

I slept uneasily. It’s that strange confusion I have about this whole flr lifestyle. I absolutely lust after serving Mistress and, as I’ve said before, there are times when I desperately need to feel the cane. But I found our flr a challenge, not only the weekly punishments, the pampering to Mistress 24/7. I love her dearly but there are times when I just wanted to flop into a chair and do nothing. I know that’s wrong and maybe I’m not the submissive I fantasise about being. Do others have these feelings? I know Mistress won’t be so lenient this time about and the weekly punishments will return.

But, at the same time, I also knew that our relationship was missing something without our flr. I think I knew we both preferred it in place, rather that being without it.

There was an uneasy atmosphere all Sunday morning between us as we went about some Christmas shopping. We both knew was coming but little was mentioned – apart from the fact that Mistress reminded me several times that I’d be ‘getting changed’ once we got home.

She was true to her word. When we got indoors I was sent to get changed – punishment bloomers, raincoat, high heels - and set out the equipment – bench, restraints, canes.

Mistress got changed too – unusual in recent times for punishment sessions. She slipped into a black pvc catsuit and high heels and looked sensational.

There was no discussion beforehand. I was ordered to remove my raincoat, then get over the bench.

The 60 stroke punishment was pure agony. Five batches of 12, five different canes. All of them stung like hell and I didn’t take them too well. I’m not the bravest at the best of times but certainly, my two months off meant I’d softened up some.

Mistress wasn’t impressed and called me a wimp. She told me only the last 12 had been anything like full force. I was deflated. She released me and told me to prepare the meal.

During the cooking I asked permission to ask a pertinent question. Permission was granted.

‘The period leading up to a caning you always seem to become very authoritarian towards me to the point of bitchiness. Do you take on that persona because I originally asked you to do this and you don’t actually enjoy it? Or are you actually enjoying the role of ordering me around?’

‘It’s because you have faults that annoy me and require correction. And yes, I enjoy caning you under those circumstances.’

I suppose I asked the question because I needed to know once and for all if Mistress really did enjoy this kind of regime or if she was simply doing it to please me. I can’t tell you how overjoyed I was at her response. But I’m sure some dominant ladies will baulk at my impertinence of asking!

As we ate the meal there was an eerie atmosphere. Both of us were looking at each other but little was said. I remarked how the cane can instil a very different atmosphere into a relationship. Mistress reminded me we were far from finished.

I washed the dishes and about half an hour after the meal Mistress pointed out that the 8.00pm curfew was already upon us and I’d not even started on the presents. She said that I’d wasted so much time earlier in the day so I was clearly at fault by not considering my task earlier.

As a result, I would therefore receive 24 strokes of the cane. On top of my already swollen bottom it was hard to take - especially now as Mistress has rediscovered all her old venom in applying the rod.

I was then sent to complete my task – but told to think about my faults and report back to Mistress on completion of my task at 9.30pm.

As precisely 9.30pm I stood in front of Mistress again.

‘So you’ve come for more punishment then?’

I gulped. I had hoped I’d be let off but Mistress was in a determined mood and was showing me no mercy.

‘Yes Mistress. I had committed many faults during the last few weeks but the one I think I deserve punishment for most is being disrespectful towards you and moaning about the mess in the house.’

Mistress gave me a steely stare and cast her eyes towards the bench in the middle of the room.

‘Back over it. Now.’

I got another 24 strokes. After being released from the bench I was told to kneel at Mistress’ feet.

‘I think you now know what to expect if you step out of line again. We will resume the regime that you said you wanted and you will receive a weekly maintenance caning every Thursday, as before. Starting this coming Thursday. Now get everything cleared away and get to bed.’

I can’t even begin to put into words how good it felt to have Mistress back in charge again.

DD lifestyle on hold

2011-12-09T15:35:00.000-08:00

I have to apologise for not updating our blog since late October, but I’ve felt there was little to say and I didn’t have the interest to even turn on my home PC, let alone keep our blog updated.

Our DD lifestyle had become strict and intense and we had been discussing a plan to run a boot camp weekend – just to enforce our regime even further.

I certainly believe both of us were benefiting the weekly maintenance punishments - the caning sessions of 36 strokes every Thursday were highly effective. I was better behaved, more respectful and responsive to Mistress while Mistress enjoyed the benefits of me working hard to please her. And, if we’re honest, she also enjoyed exercising her power over me and delighted in applying the cane with some vigour.

But also being totally honest, I had two contrasting thoughts on these punishments. On the one hand I enjoyed the submission and the closeness punishment brought but, I often drove home thinking, oh no, it’s the cane tonight. That thin Dragon cane really has a horrible bite and no matter how many times I’ve had it, I still struggled to soak up its painful application – especially as Mistress was getting more and more effective with it!

For someone with a life-long desire to experience corporal punishment, you would think that being able to experience it on weekly basis should be like manna from heaven. It wasn’t that I totally hated it. I didn’t even fear it because I knew I could get through it – at a struggle. And while it was always challenging, it wasn’t ever in my mind that we should stop.

But one particular Thursday I was driving home feeling a little under the weather and really could not face my weekly 36 strokes. When I got in the house I explained to Mistress I wasn’t feeling great and asked to forgo the punishment.

Mistress wasn’t happy about this, enquiring exactly what was wrong with me. She clearly wasn’t convinced by my whining and after we had ate dinner, she said something to the effect of ‘if you can eat dinner, you can’t be too ill so I think you should be caned. I’m only applying to rules you wanted us to live by.’

Obviously I should have gone to fetch the cane but I argued my case at which point Mistress shrugged her shoulders and went into the living room to watch TV, leaving me to do the washing up etc.

Nothing more was said on the subject that night. I apologised the next morning and felt really bad that I’d let Mistress down – and myself. Mistress was annoyed and showed her disappointment in me.

But life carried on as usual. Except when the following Thursday arrived, punishment wasn’t mentioned. I figured this was my punishment. I was wrong because we’ve not really discussed our DD lifestyle since - until the past week.

Apart from my appalling behaviour, the under current to this tale of woe is that both of us have been absolutely focussed on work – both working evenings as well as daytimes – so there’s actually been no time to asses and discuss our DD lifestyle. Plus I did go through a spell of a week where I really was ill.

Living a DD lifestyle, we’ve both learned is hard work on top of all the normal everyday things that get thrown at you, but I guess that’s why it’s so fulfilling – when one plays to the rules. And so desperately disappointing when one doesn’t.

Our relationship through all this has been absolutely perfect – we’re both happy and love each other to bits. It’s just the DD side of things has disappeared and I reached the point, where I couldn’t face looking at the blog, let alone updating it, or even surfing around to see what others were up to.

But last weekend I began to realise that I was missing the the focus that our disciplinary regime gave me so I tentatively broached the subject and asked Mistress if she thought our relationship was better or worse without DD and she replied that it was perfect either way.

I have to admit I was disappointed with her response. I was hoping she would say it was worse without DD – but she was right. We had been having a fabulous time together. And I had no right to disappointment since it was me who messed up in the first place.

However, my comments obviously struck a chord because since that brief discussion, there’s been a few little quips coming my way about things she’s not happy with in my behaviour or performance with the house chores. You know the score, almost nit-picking every tiny thing you should or should not have done. I don’t mind at all because it needs saying but I think she’s working her way around to a punishment session.

If, or when, the moment comes I’ll be happy to fetch the cane and take the thrashing that’s coming to me. I could now do with the hiatus to end and get back to the strict discipline regime we had in the house.

I probably sound like an overgrown child but I’d reached a point where I was happy in the knowledge of where the boundaries where and what was expected of me and the weekly punishment helped continually reinforce the message.

There are definitely areas I know I am lacking, and one area in particular I need some help (to curb my spending habits!), and we found in the past that a stiff dose of the cane goes a long way to improving my attitude and will power.

Mistress comes back from a night out with her girl friends tomorrow. I’m hoping she’s of a mindset to discuss the reintroduction of strict domestic discipline into our relationship. I miss it.

The benefits of Boot Camp?

2011-10-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

The latest post on the interesting Learning Domestic Discipline blog concerns ‘Domestic Discipline Boot Camp Basics.’

The aim of the Boot Camp, according to LDD is “an intense, multi-day experience an actively practicing Domestic Discipline couple goes through in order to set more defined roles in both partners within a marriage/household, as well as set crystal clear expectations of both partners within a marriage/household.”

LDD also explains the need for a ‘Boot Camp’ and says: ‘it is intended to help the husband (or head of the household) be more consistent with discipline, and is also intended to help the wife become more respectful of the rules set forth by the husband (or head of the household). In addition, boot camp is intended to correct behaviors and shape how Domestic Discipline will be done in the future within the household. Boot camp also includes a set of homework assignments intended to strengthen and nourish the foundation of the marriage, and enhance the communication between husband and wife.”

I can see the benefit of this kind of regime and it’s something Mistress and I have indulged in from time to time over a brief two-day period to get our flr back on track. However, I can also see that a much longer period of Boot Camp might have a much longer-lasting effect on the minds of both parties and, if I’m honest, an extended period of ‘Boot Camp’ is something we might consider.

The reason I say this is because both of us have been very busy and have had very little time together with the result that while our flr has not exactly been put on hold, it has become inconsistent. How many of you out there go through this similar kind of unheavel – and then work hard on your flr to get that back on track the minute you get some quality time together?

What normally happens in our relationship is that when we have some time together, Mistress becomes very authoritative and I strive hard to get back in line. It’s normally an intense couple of days where every fault is picked up on and corrected.

LDD has only explained basics in the blog and promises there will be a book published, covering Boot Camp ideals but Mistress and I have talked about the benefits of a longer-term Boot Camp.

We’re wondering if a sustained Boot Camp would actually help both of us focus with more consistency in our FLR. After Mistress caned me tonight she said that it’s sometimes really hard for her to pick up the focus of ‘us’ when so many other things are happening. I feel exactly the same.

So can Boot Camp help?

According to LDD: “Each day of boot camp is structured with different tasks which include the four daily spanking sessions and the four daily homework assignments. During the time in boot camp, and ideally in everyday life, the HOH is completely in charge. Boot camp has a "no tolerance" type of policy, and the HOH should punish instantly when there is any sort of defiance from the wife. Not only does this teach the wife to respect her husband (or in our case the sub male respect Mistress) and the rules of the home, but it also teaches the HOH that he (or she) MUST be consistent with the rules and punishments, otherwise the marriage (or relationship) will suffer in the long run. Again, everything in boot camp is done for a reason, and with long term overall benefits.”

Boot Camp would be an extremely strict period of several days in which every rule in the house is adhered to. There would be absolutely ‘no tolerance’ and the policy would cover every single aspect of the relationship. Any rule-breaking would be punished immediately and severely – much more severely than usual.

If Mistress and I adopted the idea of Boot Camp, I think it would have to be over five to seven days and accentuate every single rule we have, plus introduce a lot more.

LDD suggest four spankings per day which seems excessive over a seven day period but then we’re talking about an extreme and intense regime.

I tried to research other Boot Camp regimes but found little really tangible advice that would be applicable to a real relationship, but Mistress has charged me with delivering her a five or seven day plan to explain how Boot Camp could be structured and what benefits she might expect to see from the experience.

If anyone out there has any valid suggestions or experience we can draw from we’d love to hear from you.

Missed maintenance canings

2011-10-20T15:41:00.001-07:00

After missing two Thursday punishments on the trot, purely through outside commitments Mistress got her caning arm back in full swing this week.

Sunday morning we were just about to go out for a walk when Mistress ordered me to fetch the cane.

Fetching the cane now invariably means the thin Dragon, our regular maintenance punishment implement. I got 12 for backchat late during the previous evening. This was no ordinary caning. For the first time I was well aware of the whistle of the cane before each impact – suggesting to me that Mistress was laying it on very hard. Normally I’m not really aware of the whoosh – just the pain. But this 12 were real stingers.

I was warned that wasn’t the last I was going to feel of the cane during the day and off we went for our walk, hand in hand down the road like nothing had ever happened.

Mistress kept me waiting all day and just when I thought I’d escaped, I was reminded at 10.00pm that I was still owed was last Thursday’s maintenance punishment. I duly received that and the strokes were delivered just as hard as earlier in the day.

But Mistress hadn’t finished and she decided that not bringing her a cup of tea, me huffing and puffing when she took me to task over the matter and leaving the toilet seat up deserved even further correction so I had to endure another 12 or so of the three-tailed tawse before bedtime.

Today, being Thursday and our official maintenance punishment day, I got another 36 - on top of the marks that had still not faded from Sunday.

To be frank, this was no where near the intensity of Sunday’s session. Yes it hurt, but I could tell Mistress wasn’t laying it on and she later admitted, she thought I’d already had a good thrashing so was being a bit lenient.

Our flr in public

2011-10-15T02:18:00.000-07:00

I think we reached something of a defining moment in our FLR recently.

Mistress and I were in a coffee shop for lunch,. Mistress picked out a tuno mayo roll and pointed to a flapjack. She also asked me to get her an elderflower flavoured drink and then walked off to find a table, leaving me to order the food and drinks and pay. I bought myself a cheese and tomato roll, fresh cream scone and black coffee.

I took the food and drinks to the table and laid everything out and then sat down to eat. Mistress, though just stared at her roll then said in the most haughty voice: “Did you get me a knife to cut this roll?”

“I didn’t see any,” came my response between chewing on my food.

“That’s ridiculous, they must have knives. They didn’t have any? I don’t believe you.”

And with that Mistress got up and went in search of a knife.

She came back in seconds,brandishing a knife and said, “I cannot believe you could have imagined that a café would not have a knife to cut food. Did you even ask?”

Mistress was talking loud enough for everyone in the small café to hear and, I felt mself h with embarrassment.

“Well did you?”

“No.

“No what?”

I looked at her and saw, ‘the look’. “No Mistress,” I said in the quietest voice possible, hoping no one would hear my submissive response – but also hoping Mistress would quell her strident tones.

“And where is my chocolate cake,” she continued raising her voice even louder.

“Chocolate cake? You said you wanted flapjack.”

“I did not,” she replied indignantly. “I pointed to the flapjack thinking you might like it. I asked for chocolate cake.”

It simply wasn’t true. I hadn’t misheard her. By now I wasn’t just embarrassed, I was getting angry and boiling inside. I was ready to just walk out of the café and leave this stroppy woman in the café.

I would have done just that in my former life and probably sulked for several days. But instead I sat there, not touching my own food, red in the face and wondering what had happened. We had been enjoying a great day out, just wandering around the shops. I told myself to calm down and picked up my food and began to eat. By now Mistress had finished hers, and pushed the plate to one side.

“Right, now you can go and get me some chocolate cake and a pot of tea. Now!”

This wasn’t a polite request. This was an order and suddenly, the penny dropped. She wasn’t at all angry or being awkward, she was playing out a role we normally reserve for the privacy of our own home.

My emotions went from anger and embarrassment to a flutter in my stomach and a twinge further down. It was a rather exciting moment to realise what was going on.

I set my food aside again and meekly went to order her cake and tea. I came back with it on a tray and stood at the table.

“Your afternoon tea Mistress,” I said, this time loud enough for others to hear.

“That’s better,” Mistress said, barely acknowledging my presence. “You can sit down down now.”

We didn’t discuss the incident there, but in the car on the way home I asked Mistress what happened in the coffee shop.

“It was a little test,” she said. “I wanted to see how you would react.” And then she changed the subject.

I must say I had been surprised how Mistress suddenly switched from enjoying the shopping trip to being so stern but that’s her prerogative and, if it happens again, I’ll be ready for it. I’m certainly delighted if she’s happy to make our flr a little more public.

If it was a test I’d have like to know how I performed. I know you better behaved subs out there and experienced dominant ladies will rightly criticise me for even allowing myself to become angry in the first place – and point out that I should be ready and willing to serve at any time - but I was caught by the changed in mood. Once I allowed the authority of Mistress wash over me it was quite a delightful experience and I enjoyed acting the role of ‘maid’, taking her tea and cake to the table.

I wonder if anyone in the coffee shop realised the dynamic of our relationship or just shrugged their shoulders and said, ‘guess who wears the trousers in that household.’

Or maybe there was a couple in there with a knowing smile on their faces thinking, ‘I wonder how she’ll punish him when she gets him home….’

Birching punishment

2011-09-29T15:22:00.001-07:00

Tonight’s maintenance punishment took on a new direction. Mistress adhered to the 36 strokes but gave one of the birches I’d made an airing and used one of the thicker hazel switches separately.

After a recent discussion about the birch, I’d harvested some hazel twigs from some woods when I was out in the car recently. I bound two ‘birch’ rods, one with three twigs which was also the longest at just over 36”, another with four. Both of them with quite thin, whippy rods about a third of the thickness of our thinnest cane. This was around 30 inches. And there was one thicker twig, about the same length as our thinnest Dragon cane, which I left over to use as a switch.

Mistress was eager to give them a try and started with the bundle of four rods. Being thin rods, it was very stingy but not overly painful. Then Mistress used the switch, which again was stingy.

Mistress admitted later she’d not applied the four rods with any real venom because the tips were breaking off. And she had only used any real force with the last six of the switch.

But then she applied the Dragon cane with her usual ferocity and my word could I tell the difference.

Normally I think of the Dragon as being a real stinging, biting, nasty weapon that leaves along lasting burning sensation for quite a time after having 36. But tonight I felt just how much of a thud it packs too, compared to the stingy little switch.

So as far as punishment tonight, we both felt it was overly lenient and I’ve got a feeling Mistress might apply more of the Dragon cane tomorrow night. The reason being that this wasn’t just about a maintenance session tonight. We had an issue on Tuesday night with me getting a little bit agitated over a trivial matter but I did raise my voice and, obviously, that is against the rules in the house.

Mistress said that she didn’t think I’d learned anything from tonight’s session – but it was definitely necessary. I think she was right on both counts but I’ll happily bend over for what I deserve tomorrow.

As far as the birch is concerned, I think it’s something we’ll revisit but using heavier weight (thicker) twigs and paying more attention to the whole ritual that surrounds” application of the rod.”

Judicial caning

2011-09-26T02:34:00.000-07:00

When, I wonder, did the penchant for judicial-style caning become popular among aficionados of consensual corporal punishment among adults?

I use the word style because a real judicial caning, similar to those barbaric practices used in Singapore, would not normally have any place in a DD environment.

However, judicial punishment, to me, means a pre-arranged session with a with a heavy cane, delivered full force and absolutely no escape from the set number of strokes – usually no less than 24 and usually a lot, lot more. And, I’d argue, there’s no reason why that shouldn’t be the case in a DD environment.

But going back to my initial question, is it just me, or are people looking for a greater degree of severity in domestic discipline as everything we do these days requires just that little extra edge of extremity?

I’ve always been fascinated by the history of judicial corporal punishment but I remember when I first began exploring the subject of consensual corporal punishment, most people were content with six of the best with the school cane or maybe 12 or 18 - and 24 was considered extreme. Or so it seemed from the places I was looking!

But now it seems that some domestic punishments, while not the same severity as a Singapore caning, are pretty extreme. Our own regime calls for 36 strokes of the Dragon cane once a week as maintenance but I’ve suffered much more than that in the past.

Is it a case of the more of the cane you have, the more you need to create an effect? Personally I don’t think that’s the case. My 36 never get any easier – and, as I blogged recently, a dose of 12 the other evening really took me to the edge. I was literally wimpering at the end and glad it wasn’t 36.

Others might argue that regular punishment is a bad thing and one’s senses do become dulled so only more severity has an effect.

But if you look at some of the home videos posted on places like Spanking Tube, there’s no lack of severe correction going on.

The other thing I’ve noticed is the shift towards judicial punishments among those who pay to be caned. Before my relationship with Mistress I used to visit professional disciplinarians and those who dealt in ‘Judicial Punishment’ were few and far between. A casual look around the websites now reveals that virtually every disciplinarian is offering ‘Judicials’ – at least in name. The only conclusion I draw from that is that it’s something more and more people are keen to experience.

Personally I’ve always thought that if you intend using corporal punishment as a means of domestic discipline, then any application of punishment means the recipient has to suffer for it to have any effect.

And if you aim to use a greater degree of severity, that introduced a fear factor into the punishment session which I think a lot of us get off on - rather than the actual pain and suffering of the punishment itself.

Perhaps others agree, which could explain why severe judicial-style corporal punishment is freely practiced in homes these days.

The Birch

2011-09-22T03:42:00.000-07:00

Does anyone use a birch rod as an instrument of correction as part of their domestic discipline regime?

I ask because it’s something Mistress and I discussed a while back and we recently harvested some twigs to fashion into a birch. I've tried tying them into birch rods - one with three twigs, one with four but also left a couple spare to use like a swtich - but the finished birches look a pretty amatuerish. So I just wondered if anyone has done this and created an effective product.

The term birch rod is a misnomer since it is not a single rod but a collection of twigs – not necessarily from the birch tree. Ours are from a hazel bush. The Isle of Man authorities used hazel to make birches to use in their judicial punishments.

The birch rod of course employs a special place in British corporal punishment history. The Isle of Man used birching right through the 1970s and the birch, as well as the cat-o-nine-tails, was used in British prisons.

The judicial birch was three or four rods bound together. According to Wikipedia the severity of the birch rod was determined by its length, weight and number of twigs. In Dartmoor Prison, for example, prisoners over 16 years old were subjected to a ‘senior birch, which weight 16 ounces and was 48 in length.

The birch was also used in schools, most famously at Eton where they used what is known as the ‘spray birch’ – a much bushier collection of smaller twigs.

Birching apparently took place all over Europe up to the 19^th century when caning started to become a more popular method of corporal punishment.

Domestic discipline continues

2011-09-22T01:01:00.000-07:00

There’s no let up in the discipline in our home just lately. Last night we were both lounging after a long day when Mistress suddenly remembered she had left some things in her car.

It was around 10.00pm and she asked me to fetch them. I stupidly made some kind of facial expression that was the equivalent to huffing and puffing and Mistress said, ‘Get the things in now then go and then fetch the cane.

I didn’t argue. I knew I’d done wrong and deserved what ever was coming.

I got 12 blistering strokes and was mightily glad Mistress stopped there because she seemed to be hitting me a lot harder than normal.

After I’d put the cane back in the wardrobe Mistress asked me, “what have you learned?”

I said that I should just get on and do things without question or comment.

Once we had settled back down and started talking about our current regime, I asked Mistress if she got any pleasure out of caning me and she said, “Only when I think you need it. I’m certainly not going to tolerate any kind of dissent that you showed tonight.”

I'm sure there will be plenty of readers who will agree with that sentiment.

SBR raincoat in public

2011-09-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

Recent bad weather has given me plenty of opportunity to wear my favourite rubber raincoat.

I bought it last winter but it’s only recently I’ve felt confident enough to wear it out and about and spent four days on the trot wearing it while on holiday. Some holiday, it rained every day but at least I had my rubber raincoat with me, which gave me something to smile about.

I know that sounds ridiculous but I also know there is still a stigma attached to rubber raincoats and would – even now – be embarrassed to meet a work colleague or friend wearing my rubber coat.

So I only wear it if I’m away from my own locality – which is a shame because I do get satisfaction from wearing it.

As I’ve said before, I’m a lifelong rubber and PVC raincoat fetishist. But while I wear my rubber raincoat in public there’s no sense of sexual excitement for me. There is a thrill however, but I’m not sure how to explain what it is.

I do get a buzz when I notice people doing a double take when I’m out and about. And people do look – no question. But it’s mainly men, though I did spot a couple fo women taking a second glance....

I suppose the buzz is me wondering what they are thinking. It could be ‘weirdo’, it could be ‘who does he think he is dressed like that?’ It could even be, ‘wow, a rubber raincoat, not seen one of those in a long time.’ My biggest thrill would be another enthusiast stopping me to ask where I bought it.

I’ve not been able to analyse why I like this raincoat so much. It’s not extremely shiny like some of the old Weather Or Not mackintoshes. It’s not strong on style – not in the same vogue as an old trenchcoat.

I think what I really enjoy about it is being aware that you are wearing it. The material is quite stiff and heavy – unlike my really old soft Weather Or Not SBR trenchcoat. Neither is it slocky like some mackintoshes – though it does creak and rustle.

It’s also the way it hangs off the shoulders that makes you constantly aware of it.

The one disappointment is that there is no strong rubber odour like my Weather Or Not raincoat. All the pleasurable smells are taken out in modern rubber gear so it means us fetishists feel a little cheated. I wonder what it must have been like in the old days when lots of people wore rubber raincoats. The odour when several of them gathered in a shop for example, must have been quite something.

However it does have a slightly sweet sickly smell, mainly of silicon polish I use so now my senses are tuned that that pleasure recognition and even out and about I’m constantly reminded of it when I’m wearing the mackintosh – so others near must also be able to smell it.

What is very different for me it that the raincoat will always look ‘new’. Unless it gets damaged, he smooth surface will always have the same dull sheen. Now I know that’s an obvious statement but normally I hate wearing anything that looks ‘brand new.’ Even when I was a kid at school I hate new shoes and had to scuff the toes deliberately to take the edge off the new-ness. Now for the first time in my life, I derive pleasure from going out in public wearing a raincoat that has a definite sheen to it – and what’s more, it only feels right wearing it with polished black shoes.

It actually doesn’t feel right at all. I’m very conscious of wearing it every second I have it on but I still love it to bits.

I love the way the material ripples as I bend my arm and the way, the stiff double layer of rubber feels as I slide my hand into the pocket.

The material is very heavy and it seems that no matter the temperature, it’s always going to feel quite stiff whereas my Weather Or Not mackintosh is really quite supple.

When I bought this raincoat I wanted something that looked relatively modern in style because the aim always was to wear it in public – where all my other mackintoshes are purely for indoors where I can comfortable wear all kinds of belted and buckled trenchcoats.

This raincoat is actually styles on a design Weather Vain produced for Burberry. It’s short, just below the knee, single breasted and is very much bespoke – hence the £375 price tag.

I opted for exposed buttons rather than a fly front style to break up the smooth panels of rubber.

The collar is short and pointed and now I’ve worn this raincoat in public for several days on the trot, I think anyone could get away with wearing something like this is their daily commute around the city. The style is thoroughly modern. But the material makes it stand out.

The irony is that sat typing this, I’m already thinking that if I was going to buy another raincoat from Weather Vain, one that I would wear in public, it would have to be a traditional trenchcoat style – double breasted, epaulettes, belted waist and sleeves so then I’d really stand out in the crowd.

Having said that, I still need to wear this raincoat a lot more to gain confidence. I’m still very self conscious wearing it and each time I walk past a group of people and hear a snigger, I wonder if I turned back they would be pointing and laughing at the old man in the mackintosh!

One other thing I’ve realised that even in September, when it’s still relatively warm, a rubber raincoat is not warm to wear. If I’m going to wear this in winter then I’m going to need to wear some kind of fleece under it.

The one thing about wearing it in public that’s been a real positive for me is that I can no longer slouch. To wear an SBR raincoat in public I have to feel confident and that means holding my head up high, pulling my shoulders back and striding out. It’s the only way to carry it off: ‘Yes, I’m wearing a rubber raincoat and I’m proud of it,’ is the message and I walk down the high street.

I’ve caught several people taking a good long look at me but I’m hoping my confident air carries me through.

I think one reason I felt so self conscious wearing the mackintosh was that Mistress wasn’t with me. Being on my own made it very different so I pleased I spent so much time in the raincoat these past four days.

With Mistress it’s going to be more acceptable to be seen hand in hand with a women – rather than being seen as some lonely old man in mackintosh.

The one thing I’d really love to persuade Mistress is to go for a black PVC trenchcoat. She had red and blue PVC jackets and while she’s been adverse to wearing a black PVC mackintosh around the house, she has developed an aversion for black mackintosh in public, purely, I believe, because of the knowledge she now has about raincoat fetishism – which she only discovered once she met me. The other issue is finding a really nice modern cut raincoat in reasonably heavy black PVC.

Owning an SBR raincoat really brings home to me that they are high maintenance. You can’t let the collar get too much sweat on it or the rubber will degrade. You have to polish the whole thing regularly with silicon-based polish. You can’t let it lie in sunlight or cold. So owning one really is a labour of love.

I’m also scared to death of damaging the surface. Even hanging it up worries me that I’ll permanently crease the collar. Out in shops I’m scared it’ll get caught on a sharp surface, or it’ll get scratched buy someone with an umbrella, or burned by a cigarette end. I treat is with more respect than I’ve ever treated any form of clothing. I can’t just toss it on a chair in a coffee shop, it has to be folded just so and placed on a chair. I’m constantly scare I’ll crease it.

Does anyone else have such paranoia?

In fact I wonder, how many like-minded people out there actually wearing SBR raincoats in public on a regular basis?

Our punishment charter

2011-09-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

Following on from our discussion this past week (see previous post) we also discussed our punishment regime in quite a lot of detail.

Mistress knows I love the fantasy of corporal punishment. It’s the reason Mistress and I began playing corporal punishment games in the first place. But in many ways I hate the reality of a real punishment caning. I also melt at the fantasy of Mistresses dominance. But I don’t take kindly to that either. But the reality is that I need both. Such is the dichotomy of a submissive male with a CP fantasy.....

Our weekly maintenance system is perfect in that we no longer have to worry about when is the right time to use the cane, but we’ve both been saying things need to be a little stricter regime over the next few months to really take our FLR to another level and mould me into a better submissive to ensure I give Mistress my maxim attention.

We’re at a point where Mistress' corporal punishments are something to be feared and, if I’m honest, the situation now is that I actually am a little scared of what she is capable of when she punishes. The result is having a positive benefit – but only when she maintains her assertiveness.

The problem we found is that it’s difficult to use the cane more than once in any week because of the damage to the flesh. But this week we needed to fit in two maintenance sessions and really, there should have been a really serious thrashing one night as well after I quite wrongly, answered Mistress back.

So we both realised the system needed a rethink and spent the last few days throwing ideas around. But it’s quite amusing when we’re out shopping, in the middle of a crowded café and Mistress says, ‘I think we’re relying too much on that one cane and need to make more use of some of our things, like that bath brush you hate.’

We aim to retain - and the 36 stroke tariff. But to reduce the damage caused by a cane Mistress will now use the bath brush or leather paddle.

My other faults are now graded four different levels that need correction. But how Mistress grades individual cases is entirely down to her. Today’s serious fault might not seem so bad tomorrow so it’s her call. The bottom line is that Mistress now has total control and our new rules and sanctions are designed to allow her to apply her assertiveness on the relationship and ensure I am respectful at all times and carry out my chores as expected.

Here are how those thoughts have become our revised rules. They may look cumbersome but cover everything that Mistress thinks needs correcting. The basic rule of thumb is that Mistress decides if I need punishing and how she punishes me.

GRADE A - Serious faults

We will now only use the thin Dragon when real punishment is required to correct serious faults. This is by far the most effective instrument we have and our thinking is that it should therefore be used for the most serious offences. Our rule is that it will never be used for less than 36 strokes.

GRADE B - Less serious faults

We have plenty of other canes/instruments to use that will still provide a short, sharp shock.

GRADE C - Regular annoying faults

Mistress is getting more and more annoyed with the silly little things that I do or forget to do: like leaving the toilet seat up, leaving the electric shower turned on all day, leaving lights on in rooms we’re not using. So in future she’ll aims to use the lightweight black tawse on my hands each time I break one of these rules.

GRADE D other annoying faults

We will start to use corner time for minor faults. Like last night on the couch. I had no idea I was annoying Mistress but it would have been only right to be sent to the corner to resolve the issue.

Domestic discipline review

2011-09-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

After my weekly maintenance caning a week ago last Monday Mistress and I sat down for a discussion about how best to improve our FLR. It’s a discussion that’s been on-going ever since.

I’d read an insightful post on Learning Domestic Discipline which presents couples living in FLR’s with regular tasks and this recent task was that both sides of the relationship should write a letter to the other, expressing thoughts on ‘how you feel the relationship could be better, including what areas/aspects of the relationship you feel both parties need to improve on.’

I mentioned this to Mistress and this is a result of the ongoing discussion, based on the LDD post.

Our thoughts:

1 My focus

We both feel our weekly maintenance punishment sessions have been effective in as much they help me focus better on my submissive attitude. However Mistress has noted that the effect only lasts a limited amount of time before I slip into my old selfish ways. So one area for improvement is for me to maintain my focus through the entire week, where it’s been slipping after a few days (see 2 below). The other issue we have is that the 36-stroke caning, while effective, almost restricts us to using the cane once per week (due to the damage it causes to the flesh – as Kealah quit rightly suggested it might). I just about heals in time for a fresh set of stripes but Mistress said she is not happy at the thought of using the cane more than once in the same week. We both agreed however, there are some situations within the FLR where it would be favourable to be able to use the cane as a punishment at other times than the weekly maintenance session.

2 Mistress and her level of assertiveness

The only area of our FLR that I think Mistress could improve is in her level of assertiveness. There are times when, wrongly, I rebel against our regime (which I asked for in the first place incidentally) but at these times, Mistress backs off when she sees me in this mindset –the very time when what I need is pulling up sharp. I think it would help our relationship if I didn’t adopt this mindset in the first place, but also if Mistress adopted a more assertive role and stamped out any lack of respect instantly. Mistress however maintains, quite rightly, that I shouldn’t need constant punishment. She says focus (see 1) is something I should monitor myself and should be able to maintain without supervision. Mistress also said that there are times when my behaviour is downright spiteful and that I have to learn to temper what she calls, ‘my bitchy tendencies’. She said I must take a good look at myself when I get in such a mood and take a deep breath to avoid upsetting Mistress. My thought is that this fault, which I admit sometimes does get the better of me, warrants corporal punishment – probably more so that any other fault I have because it show a lack of respect towards Mistress.

3 My spendthrift ways

I explained to Mistress that I need help in this area. I’m far too frivolous with money and I need to have more self control – but I could also do with a little help from her to exercise this self control. Mistress said that in future I will be required to ask permission before spending any money on luxury items. We both agreed we need to discuss what kind of sanctions will be imposed if I break the rule.

4 My bad habits

I have several bad habits which Mistress has to repeatedly remind me of: shouting for an adjacent room in the house, leaving the toilet seat up, handing her bedroom robe in the mornings before she gets out of bed, leaving the electric shower turned on all day, etc etc. I have to make more effort to correct these faults. Again there is need to discuss suitable sanctions.

5 Household chores

I lack direction in completing my household chores. Mistress suggested that I draw up a check list of my responsibilities and she will ensure I attend to everything in a controlled routine.

6 Restriction of computer use

Mistress has banned the laptop and other electronic devices from the breakfast table because it means she is not the centre of focus she should be.

7 Saying good night

Mistress said that in future if she chooses to go to be early, this is it my responsibility to say good night to her properly, even if I am not going to bed.

8 Remember Mistress is human

Mistress said that sometimes she needs moral support. She says that I seem to think she can cope with anything and be dominant at all times but that is not always the case and I should respect that more than I do.

Those are our thoughts. But I’m sure there will be others. That’s the advantage of continually discussing our relationship in an honest and open manner. We’ve also been discussing corrective measures and I’ll detail our revised punishment regime in my next post. But in the meantime, if anyone wishes to comment or make suggestions then we’ll look forward to your responses.

Punishment week

2011-09-18T13:17:00.000-07:00

It’s been a busy week for disciplinary procedures in our house.

I had my regular maintenance punishment on Monday evening (postponed from the previous Thursday due to work commitments.

That evening we began a detail examination of our entire FLR procedures.

On Friday night I had this week’s maintenance session (delayed again by work) – but Mistress curtailed it after 24 strokes because my bottom was grazed and starting to ooze blood.

It was actually meant to be 48 strokes, the regular 36 plus 12 for answering back while in the kitchen preparing tea.

Mistress told me the remaining 24 would be delivered Saturday but we ended up being out all day so I thought I’d escaped – at least until Sunday.

I was very tired so unusually I went to be a few minutes before Mistress came up – but when she came into the bedroom, I failed to acknowledge her presence, which clearly annoyed her.

“You are lying with your back to me,” she said.

“I’m trying to get to sleep Mistress,” I responded, having just been woken from a sleep I was drifting into.

“What are the rules about bedtime?”

“I’m meant to say good night properly Mistress.”

“Well I think you should go and fetch the cane because that’s another rule broken.”

“You can’t use the cane now, the neighbours are bound to hear,” I pleaded.

“Yes, you are right, so we’ll do it in the box room the. Now!”

I jumped out of bend and got the cane from the wardrobe in the box room. Mistress told me to bend over the back of the chair and laid on a volley of strokes but then said, “This isn’t having any effect.”

She was right. The room is tiny. You couldn’t swing a cat, let alone a cane. I heard her fumbling around in the wardrobe.

And with a “this should do the job,” she laid on the dreaded bath brush with some vigour.

When she finished Mistress said, “We’ll deal with the outstanding 24 with the cane tomorrow. But at least now you should be awake again enough to say goodnight properly. Get back to bed.”

All I can say is that I indeed did say goodnight properly and Mistress was satisfied with my efforts.

And now it is Sunday evening. I’ve just experienced the most excruciating 24 strokes of the thin Dragon, the punishment held over from Friday.

Mistress stood before me swishing that awful cane. “And why are we here doing this?”

“It’s 12 left over from my maintenance session, Mistress, plus the 12 for talking back to you.”

I wasn’t spared. In fact I think this was possible the most painful 24 cane strokes I’ve ever suffered. I didn't shed tears but I wimpered at each of the last six.

An incredible white heat burned my bottom as I just bent forward in front of Mistress for her to properly examine her handy work after she had released me from the bench. "I've barely marked you," she said. "But it will do for now."

Bring back the cane?

2011-09-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

I never thought I’d see it again in my time but today on the front page of the Daily Express was a massive leader headline: ‘Schools told to bring back caning.'

I never intended my blog to be anything other than an account of my corporal punishment experiences in our loving, female-led relationship, but there really does seem to be a tide of enthusiasm to reintroduce a much stricter form of discipline across the country so it’s a debate that deserves to be aired.

The Express was quoting from a survey published in the Times Education Supplement which says that 49% of parents think that corporal punishment such as smacking and caning should be reintroduced for very bad behaviour in schools. And what’s even more surprising, says the Express, is that 19% of secondary school children agree!

I find it quite ironic that this survey should hit the front page of a national newspaper only a week or so after Michael M, on his blog Discipline Behaviour, called for the reintroduction of judicial corporal punishment as a method of dealing with certain levels of criminal acts, including for those hooligans involved in the riots. It was a post that provoked me into airing my views on this very blog.

As I said before, I wasn’t against corporal punishment when I was at school. It was simply an accepted part of life – something to fear from my perspective but part of life just the same. But times change and when I became a parent I was happy for my children that there wasn’t this fear of the cane hanging over them.

However, as I say, times change and it seems to me that we’ve swung so far the other way in our society that not only is there a lack of discipline (across the entire Western civilisation) there is also a lack of respect for any kind of authority or other people or property.

I’m not suggesting for a moment bringing back the cane at school is the answer but I’m am starting to wonder if it’s symbol, as the ultimate sanction, might play a small part of a bigger plan to reintroduce the discipline and respect that is lacking.

My worry, as I said in my previous post, is that any use of corporal punishment, is open to abuse. But if those fears could possible be allayed by some kind of judicial procedure then perhaps it could have it’s place.

Getting back to the Express report, Nick Seaton of the Campaign for Real Education was quoted: “It is very encouraging to see the vast majority of people – both parents and pupils – wanting to see teachers exercising more authority. I think a lot of parents will be disappointed by the attitude of teacher’s unions who seem to be wishy washy on the subject.”

The teachers unions predictably dismissed the suggestion. Chris Keates of the NASUWT said: “A mythology has grown up around corporal punishment and its effectiveness which has never borne out by reality.”

According to what he told the Express, “a 1950s report suggested that levels of vandalism we don’t even see now was rife in the period when schools routinely uses corporal punishment.”

The government has pledged to restore order in the classroom but it seems they didn’t expect for this kind of response to that pledge from the parents and pupils. Other methods of correction suggested in the survey included sending children out of class, after-school detention, suspension and expulsion or writing lines. But to my thinking none of them carry the same kind of deterrent as the cane - and would, I suggest, be quite ineffective measures.

What the Express didn’t say, but the TES does, is that the cane is unlikely to ever find it’s way back into schools because of human rights issues. The survey quotes children’s rights campaigner Peter Newell, co-ordinator of the Children are Unbeatable! Alliance, who said: “All European states have prohibited school corporal punishment, some more than a century ago. This is not an issue about parents’ views - it’s about children’s protection.”

And he’s right of course – as I suggested earlier.

The big issue, in this mamby-pamby world we live in, is that even if the cane was reintroduced, the parents of children suffering the cane would resort to the legal process and sue teachers, schools, local education authorities etc for inflicting physical harm on their children.

My thought is that if close on 50% of parents want to see the cane reintroduced, which means 50% don’t, then the easy answer would be that all parents sign a legal document either opting in or out of the corporal punishment system. But I’m sure that document would have plenty of loopholes in it.

The survey adds that Mr Newell argues that the UK’s human-rights obligations make it a “dead issue”, and Association of School and College Leaders general secretary Brian Lightman, says “the days of corporal punishment are long gone”. And the response in the TES story from a Department for Education spokesman suggests they are correct. “There is no intention of ever reintroducing corporal punishment,” he said.

They survey concludes that, “there is, it would seem, little chance that those campaigners from the Eighties are going to have to remobilise.”

But only 2000 people were surveyed. The story is now all over the news and I can see every chance that it will encourage a groundswell of similar opinion. I wonder what will happen if the feeling across the rest of the country does concur with those surveyed who want to see the cane reintroduced. That surely would lead to the remobilisation that the DoE spokesman refers to. But I still can't see the cane being re-introduced to schools in my time. But then again, I never expected to see a front pages headline like today's Daily Express leader either.

You can read the survey here: http://www.tes.co.uk/article.aspx?storycode=6112044

Judicial corporal punishment

2011-09-08T17:59:00.000-07:00

My good friend Michael M has posted quite a few comments on my blog and is largely responsible for Mistres and I operating a weekly maintence punishment system, thanks to his detail accounts the sytem his wife operates. Michael recently started his own rather excellent blog called Disciplined Behavior (see: http://disciplinedbehaviour.blogspot.com) and I read with interest one of his recent posts calling for the introduction of the Singapore Judicial cane to the UK.

This is what he said:

“Some of you will have heard about the so called “riots” in England a few weeks ago.

“Since then there have been thousands of words written in the newspapers about the justice (or injustice) of sending these hooligans to prison. Maybe if we administered justice “Singapore style” with 6 or 12 strokes of the rattan cane, then we would not be paying so much to keep these miscreants in prison and maybe there would not have been any looting in the first place. I don’t imagine that the courts in Singapore see many people for a second offence after a caning.

“I will not include any of the actual images of a judicial caning as they are quite strong. This one gives you plenty of scope to imagine what it might be like to bent over for the strokes from a rattan cane, which has been soaked for hours in water to give it added weight. Anyone who is interested in this topic can key Singapore Canings into You Tube to see how painful they might be.”

I tried to post this comment on Michael’s blog but there seems to be some technical issue so I’ve decided to post it here instead:

Hi Michael,

I’m afraid I have to disagree with you on this one – in as much as adopting the Singapore cane.

I’m one of those ‘do-gooders’ who feel that the Singapore Judicial canings are barbaric – in as much as, from what I understand, the very first stroke doesn’t just draw blood, it tears open the flesh.

I would also have argued vehemently in the past that I’ve always been and always would be against any form of corporal punishment, apart from between consenting adults. But even my staunch opposition is waning as I see a total lack of discipline across the nation.

This morning I visited my parents for the first time in a while and my Mother broached the subject of ‘the riots’ and said, ‘the trouble is those hooligans have no idea of discipline. We should never have given up using the cane. It never did us any harm. My Mother had a ‘penny cane’ and woe betide any of us if we stepped out of line.’

She told me how her brother was caned several times at school, at which point I pointed out the cane could not exactly have been a deterrent. She however argued that when her brother moaned to their mother he had been caned, she asked him what he had done and he then owned up to his misdemeanours – so he obviously had taken on board the error of his ways. It was a good argument.

At school I was never subjected to corporal punishment because, I believe, my parents taught me right from wrong, so I never found myself in too much trouble. My children have grown up without getting into major trouble and I’m hoping that’s in part because they know right from wrong.

They’ve never been subjected to corporal punishment in any form. So maybe it’s down to educating kids about respect etc. But that’s not the easy answer for those living with no hope for the future etc.

However, rather than get in a heavy debate about the why’s and where fore’s of the riots that even the cleverest people in the country don’t understand…..let me get back to corporal punishment.

At school I openly admit I feared the cane, but it wasn’t so much the pain I worried about, it was the fear of the humiliation of everyone knowing, because, believe me, punishments were widely discussed at our school. There was a real stigma attached to being caned.

I think it’s that fear that’s missing now and kids (and grown ups) think , ‘well so what if I do this, ‘what can they do to me…’

So to take your viewpoint, but refine it, maybe it would be an idea to reintroduce corporal punishment into western society, using the cane as a means of Judicial correction.

And those punishment are reported by the press - not in a ‘the poor lad got caned, isn’t it terrible’ way, but in a factual, ‘this was the crime and this is how he/she paid the price.’

But rather than using a barbaric tool like they use in Singapore – where canings are limited to in strokes because the flesh is destroyed so quickly - why not use a thick Dragon cane where punishments of larger number of strokes could be administered without excessively damaging the flesh?

Yes, blood might be drawn but the flesh won’t be flayed open. But, believe me, it would still be an agonising punishment – and with a larger number of strokes possible, the suffering would be drawn out.

But the most important aspect to the punishment would be ritual. That’s what used to make school canings feared. Imagine after sentence you are held for at least one day in a cell to really think about your situation. Then you have to change into punishment shorts before being led to a special punishment cell. There you undergo a medical and are then led to a bench to which your are strapped down. The punishment is administered slowly, and methodically under strict supervision.

My worry about the use of corporal punishment has always been that it’s a system open to abuse – so when I say strict supervision, I mean it would have to be a foolproof system that punishments were given to the letter.

It’s pure fantasy of course because our society has tipped so far the other way from when I was a child. But, for those interested, there is a really good piece of fiction suggesting a very methodical Judicial punishment system called ‘The Discipline Archive by Garrick Espieside.’

The most interesting question for me in this type of discussion is, imagine if corporal punishment was reinstated, at what age group should it be targeted? And for what crimes? If we say it’s targeted at so called ‘hooligans’ – well some of those arrested in the riots were in there 30s. And is it for females as well as males?

So isn’t there an argument that says corporal punishment should be used across all ages for any criminal offence that involves injury to others or attacks on property?

And then comes the argument, should it be reintroduced in schools?

Personally, I think it’s like Garrick’s book – pure fantasy, but a very thought provoking fantasy none the less.

The cane regime continues

2011-09-03T15:05:00.001-07:00

I’m not sure I’m going to get used to these weekly caning sessions. It’s certainly getting no easier. Mistress is insisting we continue them but the severity of the 36 strokes is really taxing me and I’m finding it difficult to take them without a fuss.

Am I complaining? Of course not. It’s just quite an experience knowing what to expect each time I bend over the bench now, knowing that it is going to hurt like hell. It’s the kind of regime a submissive like me dreams of but can’t quite believe it will ever happen.

The fantasy is fantastic. The reality is something very different and even though I’m coming to dread my appointments, I melt with submission after each thrashing.

The brief ‘no restraints’ approach, which I foolishly suggested, has already been discarded. Mistress insisted we used them last time and again tonight (yes, postponed from Thursday due to other commitments). And it’s just as well because I did suffer tonight. She doesn’t want me moving and prefers to keep the tempo going.

Each time my shackles are clipped into place I promise myself I’m going to remain stoic. I’ve had seven sessions now – that’s 252 strokes (plus some extras) but it still only takes three stinging strokes in each session to break my resolve. And it doesn’t help that Mistress is now taking great delight in targeting the crease between my bottom and the top of my thighs.

There’s no break either, just stroke after stroke and when it’s all over I’m soaked in sweat, exhausted and my rear throbs and burns for at least half an hour afterwards.

Is it working as a maintenance punishment system? I’d say it is to a degree since the pressure is off both of us, me because there’s definitely no willingness to encourage the cane anymore, and for Mistress because she’s more than happy to use the sessions to remind me of anything that’s annoyed her in the past week.

Is it correcting my general faults? Some, but I’ve still got much to learn. Take tonight after my punishment, I didn’t quite respond to Mistress in the accepted manner. She looked at me calmly – one of those looks that turns the tummy - and said, “if you carry on with that attitude I’ll give you another 36 right now.”

She wasn’t joking.

I can see changes coming. We’ve been so busy and spent so little time together in recent weeks that things have become a little ‘relaxed. I think once things calm down (there is light at the end of the work tunnel for both of us), then I think Mistress will impose ever more authority.

New shiny raincoat

2011-09-03T14:52:00.000-07:00

I know I’ve mentioned it before but I’ve always had a clothing fetish, specifically shiny pvc or rubber raincoats – and somehow that clothing fetish fits in with my corporal punishment interests.

I’ve no idea why, but since a very early age I’ve always found seeing women in such clothing incredibly attractive and love wearing rainwear myself.

Our fetish wardrobe features a collection of different coats and jackets in rubber and pvc – plus leggings, boots and some fetish clothing for myself and Mistress – but I have to admit most (thought not all) of the gear is mine!

It’s not the kind of clothing I feel comfortable wearing out in public though – so I have recently bought an SBR (shiny black rubber) mackintosh from Weathervain and a pvc raincoat with DKNY buttons and labels (though I’m not 100% convince it’s a genuine product of theirs) and I do wear one or the other when I’m out shopping with Mistress.

The SBR mac is actually the same cut as one Burberry use for their rubber-backed rainwear – in fact, I believe that Weathervain might even have made Burberry rubber coats atone time. The style is very simple but Mistress likes it as much as I do, though I still feel a bit uneasy wearing a rubber raincoat in public. Ridiculous I know.

So while those are my ‘going out’ macks, it’s not uncommon for me to wear anyone of my other raincoats around the home to do the chores. I wear it like a housecoat for want of a better description, with rubber or pvc pants underneath and either rubber riding boots or patent shoes.

I’m sat here typing my blog, wearing my recent purchase - an ex-military heavy pvc mackintosh – ‘Raincoat, black, shiny, four weather, for the use of.’

It’s a really heavy, stiff, very shiny black fabric, concealed button fastening, neck button to fasten the turned up collar really tight to stop rain dripping down the neck. The cuffs have internal elastic to stop the rain running up inside the sleeve too. There are two deep square pockets.

The cut is really simple, with raglan sleeves and it just hangs off the shoulders – with no belt to tie it in at the waist.

I bought it for £25 on e-bay but it looks brand new, though it’s got an amazingly strong pvc odour where I’d say it’s been stored along with a lot of industrial products.

It’s probably ex-Navy and you could imagine a row of them hung in the mess room on the ship and the sailors would grab one on their way to the deck for their next shift.

Like I say, it’s very stiff fabric, even when warm, so you are constantly aware of it and every movement is rewarded with a creak or a rustle of the fabric.

It’s all rather delightful, if you are a rainwear enthusiast. And such a bargain!

Similar in style to this.....

Nervous anticipation

2011-08-24T01:44:00.000-07:00

I have to admit I’ve never been so nervous about an upcoming punishment session. It’s Thursday tomorrow, as Mistress has taken great delight in reminding me three times already today, and I’m due another 36 with the cane.

Sunday’s session is still weighing heavily on my mind – the sheer venom with which she delivered my maintenance punihsment, and then added 12 more for faults that I’d committed that week was, as I’ve said, a real big step forward in our regime.

I suspect most of you submissive males with a similar interests will know that the anticipation manifests itself as extreme excitement one second and a horrible sick feeling in the pit of the stomach the next.

Mistress even insisted last night that should be ‘dressing up’ in the evenings this week – which means my baggy pvc bloomers under one of my shiny black raincoats. She knows how much I enjoy indulging in my rainwear fetish but also knows the poignancy of those horrible pants that are intrinsically linked in my head to punishment. She always insists I parade in front of her and takes great delight in having a little giggle at my outfit.

So I didn’t really need any reminder, I’ve been thinking about Thursday since last Sunday night but that’s the whole point. It’s definitely keeping me on my toes and thinking about things a lot more. 36 is painful enough so to get extras again would really not be a good idea. But the mood Mistress is in, I’m not sure she won’t just add extras for the sake of it – which of course she is perfectly entitled to.

I’m not sure what exactly is going on. Mistress has definitely been in a different frame of mind this past week to ten days – much more authoritarian than ever before. We’ve not really had time to discuss why, or even if, there is any real change. Perhaps it’s just my perception but either way, it’s had an effect on the entire balance of our relationship.

Mistress has a lot of work pressure at the moment so maybe I’m her target as a means venting steam? Or maybe she’s simply become fed up with my lax ways?

It could just be that our neighbours are on holiday and Mistress no longer has to worry about how much I squirm and squeal and she can finally deliver the kind of punishment she has always wanted to. There’s something in that because both of us are acutely aware that the noise carries between our two houses. If that’s the case we need to move to a detached house!

The only sure way to find out is to see what tomorrow brings, then talk things over in detail and then see how things develop in subsequent weeks.

From a personal point of view, even though things are tougher for me, I’d be more than delighted to carry on like this. It feels like we both have real direction and focus right now – and an intensity of love and affection that’s really quite enjoyable.

Whatever the reasons, I’m trying to improve my performance by doing more chores and today I’ve several things that desperately need sorting around the house. To not do them would certainly warrant extras on Thursday so I’m going to sign off now and tend to them.

The grim determination of a Goddess

2011-08-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

I’ve often wondered what the scene looks like - or sounds like when Mistress is caning me. How determined is she applying each stroke with severity and accuracy. How much do I really writhe around. And how loud is that cane swich and crack - and how strident my comlaints?

We don’t have a video camera but it would be good to record just how well she delivers a punishment caning.

I occasionally watch F/m corporal punishment clips, but those with real couples but they are few and far between.

But there is something intensely intimate about a woman caning a man. I was recently sat watching an old 2007 Goddess Tara clip called Evil Caning – just studying the dynamic between the dominatrix, gloriously clad in her PVC catsuit and thigh boots with her hapless slave chained by his hands above the rafters and naked apart from a leather face mask with eye and mouth holes (and doubtless paying for the privilage - nothing worng in that either)

As I watch, I think of myself and Mistress. How we act out similar punishments every week.

The Governess begins with the thinnest of canes and a fast tempo of strokes, gradually increasing in intensity from soft taps to full blooded strokes. She stops mid flow to nonchalantly tuck in the lacing on the sleeve of her cat suit. The slave can wait. I love her disdainful look.

He takes breath and calms himself to wait for next onslaught.

He doesn’t have to wait long. The caning resumes. Her face is grim set. Sheer concentration. She’s aiming blows with full force. It’s not coming from her arms but her whole body. She flexes her knees, gives a little jink at the hips and lashes the cane down. Sitting here it’s pure fascination to see this shiny black clad dominant is action. I feel for the slave. But long to be in his place.

Her determination to do the job correctly is impressive. She reminds me of Mistress. But Mistress wouldn’t wrap the cane. She’s not as vicious. Though sometimes I wish she were.

The slave struggles to cope. I admire his fortitude. I could not be so brave. As it is, each stroke forces a hiss of air from deep in his throat. As a fellow sufferer you can only guess at the way the pain is building with each stroke. I wonder how a man can knowingly submit to such an onslaught, but of course, I know.

She walks to the front and teases his flaccid penis with her cane. Then there’s click of her heels as she walks to the corner of the room. She picks up three canes then walks back to her plaything. She offers him a choice of which one to continue with but makes up his mind by telling him it’s going to be the thinnest, whippiest that’s going to cut his buttocks next.

You feel his dread as she lines up behind him. His chest is heaving. The strokes are applied at a consistent pace. One every two seconds. No time to recover. The pain is relentless.

Her grim-set lips break into a smile when the slave finally breaks and cries out, broken. Her goal has been achieved. And maybe his too.

He's already had 80 - I counted them. ‘Right, ten more,’ she states. Each of the first three result in groans. Each stroke his body arches forward. Each stroke Governess cocks her head forward to check his face – but it’s hidden behind the mask otherwise she would see tears welling up. Pure agony.

She casually flexes the thin rod between her fingers, giving him precious moments to recover his composure. Then comes the final few in an incredibly volley. The slave’s moans are getting louder. There's real desparation in those sounds. And then it’s all over.

She surveys the ridges that stripe his bottom – and the horrible blackened edges where the thin cane has wrapped his hips.

His breathing calms and she walks to the front of him, gently caressing his nipples and waist. His pain is over. For now.

Extra punishment

2011-08-21T15:08:00.000-07:00

Tonight I received my maintenance punishment, postponed from Thursday. I knew, when Mistress came back from afternoon tea with a friend of hers, she was in a mean mood.

Mistress normally has a happy, outgoing, chatty persona but when she’s in the mood to cane me, she adopts a very authoritarian attitude. No smiles, No chat. She just barks her orders.

Even before that I already knew I was in trouble. Her last words leaving the house were, ‘I want you to make a list of all the things you’ve failed to do this past week or things you’ve done badly, and a list of all the good things. We’ll discuss them before your punishment tonight.’

By the end of the morning, the only good point in my favour was cleaning downstairs that very day, my performance the rest of the week was abysmal, including raising my voice on Monday night when I was preparing tea.

At 8.00pm, Mistress told me to fetch the cane – and added, ‘bring your restraints, you’ll need them tonight.’

I stood before Mistress in my punishment pants and was told to read my list of failings aloud. I only got through the first item – the raised voice issue – when she stopped me. ‘Right, so far everything you’ve said about Monday night is about you. It fails to mention you had no thoughts for my feelings that evening – the fact that I’d had a difficult day at work. That to me shows just how selfish you are.’

She wasn’t wrong of course and, in a way, I knew I deserved what was coming.

Mistress wasn’t wrong about the restraints. I can honestly say she has never caned me so hard - ever. Not only was she seemingly able to find more venom in each stroke than I’d experienced, she also gave me no time to recover. Normally she knows I struggle and relents after every 12 to let me catch breath. Not this time.

I totally wimped out. Not only was I making a bit of a fuss, my breathing was all over the place and I thought at one stage I was going to by physically sick. I grunted and groaned so hard my throat was sore and dry at the end.

When I was released from the bench Mistress told me to leave it where it was, ‘I’ve not finished,’ she said.

An hour later I was over the bench again. This time no restraints. ‘Let’s see if you’ve learned some self control,’ she said.

I got 12 more. Equally as hard – and really painful on top of an already sore bottom. I’ve never known my bottom sting for so long after being caned.

Afterwards Mistress admitted she had thoroughly enjoyed thrashing me and that she’d used a new technique with the cane – using less arm action and more wrist action. I don’t know where she came up with that idea because she’s not one for surfing the net and we don’t have any magazines or books on the subject. I have to say though, her caning technique certainly made an impression on me tonight.

On reflection I think tonight was another big step forward in our FLR. I saw a big change in Mistress tonight. She took none of my messing around and stuck to the task. That slightly frightens me, especially with my next maintenance punishment on Thursday but in another way I’m really happy with this development.

I’ve always thought that if this FLR is going to work then Mistress has to be a bit ruthless and lead the regime and I have to work harder to please her. Mistress is obviously doing just that. It’s just me not pulling my weight.

Mistress’ final words on the subject were: ‘You have four days to improve your performance or you’ll be getting extras again.’

Topping from the bottom?

2011-08-20T02:56:00.000-07:00

Lady Grey raised an interesting question about my last blog post where I mentioned that since the implementation of our weekly maintenance punishment I was no longer being restrained.

It was something I had suggested to Mistress initially and we had decided to go along with. Lady Grey questioned whether this was a subtle form of topping from the bottom and, I have to admit, it probably is.

These are Lady Grey’s observations.

"You say that you're not using restraints in the maintenance sessions, and evidently this strengthens your personal sense of commitment to these sessions. The implication is that it takes more intestinal fortitude to endure the caning if you're not restrained, and shows your willingness to take what is doled out without breaking your position of physical submission. I'd imagine that the mental aspects of controlling your response without restraints is also satisfying to you with its clear implication of mental strength as well as physical.
Hmmm. I have to ask...just whom are you doing this for? Is this strictly for your own benefit so that you can feel good about yourself and your ability to take it "unforced and unfettered"? How does your wife feel about this? Is any of this at her behest? It sems you suggested it and acted upon it without asking her what she preferred. Or did you just leave out the fact that there was a discussion about restraints?
I think you know where I'm going with this. Is this not a subtle form of topping from the bottom while acting the "hero" for your ability to deal with the pain without restraint? If I were in your wife's position and my husband attempted to unilaterally decide the question of restraints....well, I assure you that it would not be a pretty situation for him. I'd be interested in your (and her) response.”

Lady Grey subsequently made this comment after re-reading my original post.

"As a follow up to my previous comment, I've re-read your posting and though you merely said you'd suggested the lack of restraints and acted upon same, it seems quite possible that you were implying that there was indeed a discussion that might have led to her agreeing. If so, I apologize for my assumption that this was strictly your doing. Is that what happened?"

Lady Grey has no need to apologise. She is correct in her assessment that it is I who suggested the idea of no restraints. Mistress and I briefly discussed this and it was agreed we would try it. Mistress has always been annoyed by two things when she punishes me, one is my writhing around because she takes great pride in supplying me with an accurate set of lines across my bottom. And secondly, she gets very annoyed when I become vocal. I think that’s down more to worrying about my well being.

So in return for the gift of punishment, I’m trying to improve my ‘performance’ so she can enjoy laying on the cane without too much fuss from me.

Lady Grey suggests that I may have suggested this in order to feel better about myself and I’m sure there could be something in what she says. When I was at school, the cane was used infrequently. I escaped being on the receiving end – but it'ssomething I wish I’d experienced because maybe I’d have not had such enthusiasm for it in my adult life

But it seemed to me that post-caning talk at school was dominated by discussion of ‘how many strokes’, ‘did he take it without crying,’ so there could be a subconscious desire for me to be ‘brave’ as Lady Grey

But it’s very difficult to come across as brave when you present yourself before Mistress, offering he the cane, wearing nothing more than baggy PVC bloomers (my punishment pants – which Mistress does pull down for the caning by the way). Then three or four times during the caning you’ve shot bolt upright, you gasp or moan after every stroke and when you face Mistress afterward for a lecture, the corners or your eyes are moist where you’ve grimaces so much!

The thing about our relationship is that I’ve had a very keen interest in corporal punishment since I can remember. I’ve always been excited by the idea of dominant women. But, I fell in love with my partner because I just wanted to be with her for the person she was and the thing we had together. At that time, she showed absolutely no signs of being a dominant lady, apart from occasionally being a little 'bossy'.

Very early in our relationship I told her about my interests because I knew sooner or later it would come out and I thought best be honest rather than sometime down the line wrecking our relationship with a shock horror revelation she might not be able to cope with. She had no idea that adults played CP games but embraced my interests fully. Mistress hates housework, cooking etc – in fact any household chores - so for her to find someone like me, willing to do them, is heaven for her.

But once we started playing CP games, it was obvious she enjoyed the role of dominant and began putting her spin on how things played out.

However, Lady Grey is correct in her assessment that I have topped from the bottom – and continue to do so. I do offer ideas, Mistress and I discuss them and they are either discarded or implemented. But then Mistress comes up with ideas too – which we always follow!

It would be interesting know how it works in other relationships. How often is it that the female is the one initiating an FLR? If it’s the male who initiates it, how does the relationship develop to the point where the female is truley in charge? Is it like ours where the male still tends to lead – or is it usually the way that the female takes full control? I’m sure every relationship works in a different way.

Is ours a true FLR? Probably not. I’m well aware I need to behave in a much more submissive manner. I'm not talking out of turn to suggest Mistress could be morre authoritarian. But then would I rebel agasint that authority? Would Mistress find that too difficult and not even like the fact I was too submissive?

I know I definitely need to think more of Mistress and what her wants and needs might be. But maybe that’s why we’re on this journey – to try and instill more of that into me. I am selfish and I am headstrong. I know where I need to be but it’s a long road getting there.

That’s why I was the one who suggested we begin using CP as a way to correct my real faults, rather than just playing CP games of an evening.

The problem with we both struggled to fit the discipline around our regular lives and, I mentioned Michael M’s suggestion of routine maintenance punishments and Mistress told me to draw up some kind of regime.

The interesting thing about this new regime is that Mistress is the one insisting on carrying it out. If we miss our Thursday, 8.00pm slot, she is the one who reschedules – and insists that all 36 strokes are applied. I’ve also noticed Mistress is now more authoritarian than she ever used to be. I think she’s thoroughly enjoying herself. So am I and no matter what route you follow in an FLR as long as both are happy then that’s all that matters isn’t it?

But I’ll take on board Lady Grey’s comments. It’s always a wonderful help to have others willing offering their wealth of experience. Thank you Lady Grey.

No restraint for caning

2011-08-17T07:59:00.001-07:00

One thing I forget to mention in my latest blog is that we’ve not been using any restraints for my maintenance punishments.

That probably doesn’t sound very much but it’s a big step forward for me – and it was my suggestion to Mistress that we should try it.

I’m not the bravest submissive in the world - I’m actually a first grade wimp - and for someone who rarely goes a day without fantasising of the most extreme thrashings, when it comes down to it, I cope with the fantasy much better than the reality.

But in my own head I felt that trying to take my punishment with good grace was all part of the overall regime so I suggested to Mistress we should not use them for the maintenance sessions.

The result is that while I do break from my bending position over the bench during punishment, I have the fortitude to resume my position immediately.

I do miss that rather poignant moment when Mistress clips my wrists in place but for me, taking my punishment unrestrained has become an important issue and is no an integral part of the entire submissive act of accepting these weekly canings.

I know I should have always had this kind of acceptance but I just wonder if any others out there have undergone this change of attitude?

Weekly caning

2011-08-17T06:05:00.000-07:00

Our maintenance punishment regime is working well. Well in as much as we have a routine and if we can’t meet our Thursday 8.00pm ‘appointment’ we re-arrange it.

Last week we re-scheduled for Sunday. I honestly didn’t feel like suffering a caning come Sunday evening and didn’t even hint at the impending appointment on Sunday evening but halfway through the day, Mistress picked me up on a brief argument we had had earlier that day in the car and added, ‘and don’t think you’ll get away with it. It’s your punishment session tonight. Even if you’ve forgotten it, or are trying to forget it, I haven’t.”

I think that said a lot about our new regime. Mistress has embraced it fully. I don’t believe she’s been caning me absolutely full force – or course she hasn’t – but she’s certainly not been sparing me either and I think she’s really enjoying the freedom it gives her.

By that I mean it’s taken the pressure off knowing when and when not to cane.

For me it’s daunting, knowing there is now no escape. It might not be full force but 36 hard strokes, hard enough to leave purple stripes, is a painful experience. And it’s going to happen every week regardless.

I wish I’d not suggested we use the same cane for this aspect of our corporal punishment activities because the thin Dragon does really bite.

But I wouldn’t wish it any other way.

Sunday’s punishment actually did me good. We had cross words in the car early that day, basically because Mistress was stressed and was having a go at me fro some insignifanct thing – but instead of taking on board her moments of stress, I reacted badly and also became angry. That’s definitely not allowed in our relationship. As the cane strokes fell, I willing embraced them as a correction for my faults.

It’s obvious I’ve still a long way to go before I can honestly claim to be a true submissive. Maybe I never will be able to do that but I think Sunday helped show me I’m heading in the right direction. It’s just the ability to stop myself and assess the situation before I open my mouth.

But at least we have mechanism in place to deal with these faults. Imagine, without it, that kind of exchange in the car could have led to days of sulking (on my part). Instead it was sorted in a few minutes.

I do love this lifestyle. How did I come to deserve such a wonderful woman?

Explaining why I deserve punishment

2011-08-03T13:54:00.001-07:00

I was catching up on some FLR blogs tonight and settled back to read some of the latest thoughts from Kathy at femdom101 http://femdom101.blogspot.com – always a good source of topics. In her recent post ‘My Take – Punishments’ she talks about how to ensure punishment is effective, beyond the actual physical effect.

And I have to say these two paragraphs sounded like something that could enhance our current maintenance punishment sessions.

“At the end of a punishment session it is always a good idea to have your boy repeat back to you the reasons for his punishment. Liz (one of Kathy’s friends I believe) reminded me of having him do this in his own words. Sometimes a guy will just want to put his head down, and parrot back to you the reasons why he was punished. If your guy starts to do this, instruct him to respond it in his own words. Ask him questions. After a punishment session Liz will ask her husband if there is anything else that she needs to know about. In other words Liz will come out and ask her husband if there is anything else he did wrong that she is not yet aware of.

”Liz tells me that you would be absolutely surprised to hear how much her husband confesses to. As a general rule there is nothing really bad. Like John, her husband has been in a fem dom relationship for a number of years, and punishment occurs infrequently. Never the less she has learned to use a punishment session as a way of bringing her husband closer to her. She also uses the end of a punishment session as a time to cuddle and caress her husband. Liz tells me this puts him in a highly submissive type of mood. She tells her husband that she wants to be proud of him. When he misbehaves it creates friction in their marriage.”

In our new regime, the punishment is purely for maintenance but, as I’ve said before, I think both of us realize that our busy schedule prohibit on-the-spot-punishment for rule breaking so this weekly session is a good way not only to remind me of my place, but also to remind me of my faults.

So maybe the way we could adopt Kathy’s idea is for Mistress and I to discuss my faults as they occur during the week and for me to explain what faults my maintenance punishment is to help eradicate.

So for example this week, I know I was at fault for not putting the rubbish bin out this week. I didn’t put the garden cuttings bin out either – as instructed. And I’ve been very slack in cleaning the house of late. So already the faults are toting up and that’s without Mistresses take on my behaviour. You could argue I shouldn’t need to cane to remind me of these faults. But, as I’ve said before, living in an FLR does help you regain a focus. It’s just that sometimes it takes a painful awakening to remember one’s place.

Early morning caning

2011-08-01T02:21:00.001-07:00

Maintenance punishments are harder to organise than we thought they would be. It took us until this Monday morning to find a suitable time when both of us were actually home or not busy when it should have taken place last Thursday.

So I’m sat here at the start of a couple of days off from work with a very warm bottom - with the prospect of another dose booked for Thursday morning - because Mistress and I are both away from lunchtime that day for a few days.

Today’s session should have been yesterday but – at my request - we put it off because there was so much work to be done and Mistress only decided we would reschedule for this morning while we were cuddling up in bed, thinking about getting up.

I was barely awake at around 7.00am when Mistress said, ‘I think you should have your punishment at 8.30am.’ I didn’t argue and went over the bench at the set time for the prescribed 36.

The thin Dragon isn’t nice and, even what I could tell were lighter strokes placed in the crease between my bottom cheek and the top of my thigh, stung like hell.

Kealah commented on our sessions that full force cane strokes on a regular basis might cause damage which got me thinking our idea of full force is obviously not the same as others though my punishments leave me sweating and breathing heavily so they are definitely painful enough to create an impression.

And while I have some vivid deep red marks, with some blacker stripes, it’s only after many strokes than my skin is ever grazed. And my marks do tend to fade quickly.

Kealah also said she feared that punishment strokes on top of these weekly maintenance sessions would be too much and questioned why the maintenance needs to be so severe.

There are three basic reasons for us adopting this regime: The first is to remind me who is actually in charge in the house and make sure I think of Mistress and not just myself (I’m basically a very selfish person).

The second is to stop me bratting. As I’ve said before I do reach a point occasionally when I have a really need for the cane and, consciously or sub-consciously begin to behave in a very negative manner in the house.

Finally it is to take the pressure off both of us. In the past I’ve wanted the cane but not quite sure how to ask (hence the bratting) but there have been times too when Mistress has wanted to cane me but didn’t know if it was quite the right time. The agreement we have is that this is happening, one way or another.

A good example is this week. As I’ve said we’re both away on business – Mistress leaves Thursday lunchtime – so we’ve just discussed the plan for this week and agreed the next punishment will take place on Thursday morning.

It’s too early to say how this is all going to work out but I think the answer is, as this past week has proved, is that what is currently termed maintenance will replace other punishment sessions.

Mistress and I discussed my general attitude yesterday and she picked up on some faults so this morning’s session wasn’t just punishment for the sake of it had some real meaning and I think, with our busy schedules, this routine of a weekly caning could easily become the prime measure to correct my faults.

Our first maintenance punishment

2011-07-21T13:18:00.000-07:00

Our first maintenance punishment session was a simple affair. There was no need to discuss anything as all the talking had been done.

I think that once we get into a routine there will be more need to discuss my performance.

At 8.00pm precisely Mistress laid on the prescribed 36 strokes on my bare bottom, opting for the thin Dragon cane. I was told to count each stroke. There was no more than ten seconds between strokes.

Unusually, Mistress had me lay face down on the bed, with a leather footstool under my belly to raise my bottom. I therefore had to take my punishment without being secured. Normally I am punished over a bench, secured by wrist and feet.

Also unusually, I maintained position through the punishment. Some of the strokes burned and stung but on the whole I was able to soak them up without any fuss, although Mistress had to rebuke me early in the session for not counting quickly enough.

Afterwards Mistress informed me: “Think yourself lucky. That was very lenient. The stool raised your bottom too high so I was not able to cane as hard as normal. However, as this is the first such punishment I decided to be lenient but next Thursday you will go over the bench and we will ensure that these future sessions have a good degree of severity. After all, this is meant to be punishment and therefore you must suffer for it to have any effect.”

Mistress was right of course. And, as I said in my earlier post, it’s a little daunting to think that this is now a weekly routine and that tonight’s session was by no means anywhere near how Mistress intends me to suffer in future.

But this is good. The fact that Mistress is more than happy to deal with me in this way means so much. It will help reduce tensions that we both experience. It certainly reminds me who is in charge of the house. And it reaffirms our love for one another.

EXTRAS

But tonight’s acquaintance with the cane wasn’t over. Mistress decided during the day that a couple of things I’d said – both times expressing negative thoughts – warranted punishment.

I earned seven strokes, which under the regime were working to, had to be applied separately, one hour after the maintenance punishment. We wrote this rule deliberately to keep the maintenance punishments separate from punishment for real faults.

This time I went over the bench and immediately felt the difference from the early session. This was more like the sort of caning I expect from Mistress. No nonsense, no mercy, full-blooded strokes.

Next Thursday is going to be very different. But first I’ve got to keep out of trouble until then.

First maintenance punishment tonight

2011-07-21T04:46:00.000-07:00

We commence our new maintenance punishment regime tonight. At 8.00pm Mistress will fasten me to our bench and apply the Dragon cane with full force 36 times to my bare bottom.

It’s unnerving to know that even eight hours ahead of the event, worse still having known for the entire week - and being aware this is going to be a weekly routine.

I can blame no one else. I suggested the idea to Mistress after Michael M had mooted the idea in a response to one of my blog posts where I was complaining how difficult it was to maintaining any kind of FLR regime with both of us being so busy with work etc.

By arranging a weekly maintenance session each week, Michael M suggested both Mistress and I would know exactly what to expect of each other. I felt such a routine would help remind me of my place in our relationship.

Mistress jumped at the idea – I was surprised by her enthusiasm if I’m honest. She even suggested I draw up the ground rules – which I posted a last Sunday.

I made no further mention of it following that conversation but on Monday it became clear that it was going to become a regular part of our lives when Mistress announced during our evening meal that we would be starting this new regime on Thursday!

Since then we have spent quite some time each day discussing details – Mistress wanting to get it absolutely clear with me what she expects. And now the day has arrived.

As I said, it’s unnerving. Each time I think of it my stomach churns. It’s some time since I’ve been caned and a long time since I’ve been caned in a judicial-style method.

Mistress reckons 36 is no problem for me to take and she’s probably right since I’ve suffered more in the past. But I’m feeling a whole different psychology about this. It’s so premeditated and so judicial in style that, while I’m excited in one way, I am quite scared of the outcome, especially as I say, this is going to be a regular experience.

I’ve not been punished recently which doesn’t help. I find that regular sessions tune the mind to accept punishment more readily but maybe once this first session is out of the way I’ll accept the situation more easily.

What I have noticed though is that already I’m much more in tune with what Mistress is thinking and what her needs are so perhaps the regime will improve our flr – because ultimately, no matter how much I fantasise about my pleasures of the rod, the important thing is that I serve Mistress better.

New 'Maintenance Punishment' regime

2011-07-17T18:43:00.000-07:00

Mistress and I discussed the issues affecting the FLR side of our lives and we have both agreed we need some kind of consistency to our regime.

It works perfectly some of the time but when we have been apart for a while, due to our working lives, the whole thing starts to get a bit slack – mainly on my side I have to humbly admit. Faults we agreed that will be addressed by the use of corporal punishment go unpunished. And too often, even when Mistress suggests a need for corrective measures, I find excuses not to be punished. Furthermore it is imperative for us both that I stop my ‘bratting’ behaviour when I feel a new for CP.

We therefore have agreed to try a different tact and instigate a weekly maintenance punishment session, something suggested by Michael M in a comment on one of my recent blogs. Thank you Michael for your suggestion.

Mistress and I both agree that this could be a positive step for our FLR.

We’ve no idea whether it will work any better than our previous efforts but it’s worth trailing for a period of two months.

Mistress asked me to draw up a discussion document which I present here for your comments. From this we’ll finalise and agreement and implement it immediately.

The aim:

The aim is to reaffirm the dominant/submissive relationship we have.

And to ensure I maintain the correct attitude within the house, ensuring the Mistress is always afforded the respect and servitude that is expected in our flr.

Why the need?

To prevent any build up of tension between us and to stop the practice of me trying to encourage Mistress to use corporal punishment.

This punishment is not for any particular fault(s) but purely for the purpose of maintenance.

The procedure:

As we have discussed the regular day and time will be each Thursday at 8.00pm but as both of us have busy work schedules we will also agree that at the start of every week we will check our respective diaries and finalise the day and time for the routine, weekly punishment session. This punishment tariff is a set at 36 strokes of the cane, delivered full force at a pace of no more than 10s between strokes. The cane to be used is a Dragon (Mistress decides which to be used but cannot mix two type). If punishment cannot be delivered at the specified day and time, it is carried out on the next most convenient day. If punishment has to be carried over to the following week and a double dose delivered in full (72 strokes), one hour separating the two punishments.

The advantages of maintenance punishment:

It sets a weekly routine that has to be adhered to

It does away with any negotiation process

It removes the burden from the dominant partner to know when to punish

It helps focus the roles we have

It ends any craving for punishment and therefore stops any deliberate efforts to be punished

We both know exactly where we stand

The disadvantages of maintenance punishment:

The pressure of adhering to a strict, weekly deadline

What about punishment for real faults?

Real faults will still be subjected to correction by means of corporal punishment and will be administered as Mistress sees fit but will not form part of the routine maintenance punishment. If Mistress feels it necessary to address any faults on the day of the routine maintenance punishment, then a further punishment can be administered one hour after the maintenance session. However, with regular maintenance the intention is to encourage a more submissive attitude and improved behaviour thereby reducing the amounts of faults that need correction.

Maintenance punishments

2011-06-29T05:47:00.000-07:00

Michael M raised a really good point in a comment he made on my recent post, 'Corrective Measures Required.'

I was discussing my ‘need’ to be caned and, how subconsciously, I make mistakes which result in Mistress punishing me.

We have decided to use corporal punishment when I fail to live up to Mistresses expectations. I have faults, many of them, but by and large, the system we have adopted works well for us to help me maintain my submissive attitude towards Mistress and ensure I serve her in the correct manner that pleases her.

However, we both are acutely aware that the only reason we use such methods in the home are because I have a life-long fascination with corporal punishment and enjoy being caned.

So how to balance that pleasure, but still be able to use it as a deterrent to correct my many faults? Mistress has adopted a degree of severity that removes the pleasure of being punished. I now know that if I break the rules I’m going to suffer more pain than pleasure if I’m caned.

Since adopting this regime we’ve noticed how much closer we have become and how much more attentive I am in our relationship.

However, there are still times when my masochistic tendencies take over and I feel a need to be caned. This tends to happen when the atmosphere in the home is at its best and we’re both relaxed and content.

Something triggers that desire and that’s when I start to misbehave. It’s not a decision I take to ‘brat’ but Mistress has noticed a change in me – a kind of tension when I feel this ‘need.’

I am only too well aware that the best thing Mistress could do when I reach a point when I desperately crave corporal punishment ‘therapy’ is to deny me, which is exactly what she now does.

However Michael M’s suggestion is that to avert this feeling of ‘need’ his wife has instigated routine maintenance spankings where his is punished, routinely, every ten days.

I’ve read about maintenance spankings before and not really given the idea much credence. We wanted to use real punishment for real faults but having thought through Michael M’s suggestions I have to say the idea has merit.

Mistress and I have touched on the subject and noted it as a topic for discussion but

personally I think it’s the way forward now for our regime.

The reason it works in my head is that we can plan ahead and establish a set day, time and number of strokes for the routine punishment. It would demand severity to ensure it wasn’t something to be craved as a kind of pleasure release.

Having a routine would instantly erase any of that ‘need’ that I experience and Mistress would expect that, for argument’s sake on Wednesday night at 8.00pm I would present myself with the cane for prescribed punishment of 36 strokes with the thin Dragon cane (the most painful implement we have).

The other advantage of the date in the diary is that if we are both busy on our set day, then it could be altered. The only proviso being that the punishment must take place during the week in question – or as close to date as possible. The only difference to Michale M’s routine is that I believe it should be weekly because it’s much easier to keep tabs on than once every ten days.

The maintenance punishments would not affect our current regime however. Faults would continue to be punished as they are now so I might be possible to be punished more than once a week and even twice on the same day – if that fault happened to be made on the same day as the maintenance punishment.

Why is this so important to us? I think it will help ease any of the tension we currently experience when I’m going thorough my craving process. I don’t know how to express my feelings to Mistress. Mistress isn’t sure what’s going on in the relationship, whether I’m being a pain because I’m unhappy or because I’m just in need of a good thrashing.

But do I really want the cane ever single week? Probably not but if it results in a much more balance flr then it’s a pain I’m willing to accept.

But the main reason for this post is to learn from you. Before Mistress and I sit down to talk this through, I’m really interested to know if others of you reading this use maintenance punishments as part of your flr – and what kind of methods do you employ to make it effective?

Caned – but not the outstanding debt

2011-06-29T05:01:00.000-07:00

I got a dose of the cane at the weekend, for being in bed once Mistress had got up. I stayed laying there once Mistress had jumped out of bed but imagine my surprise when she came back in the bedroom with the thin Dragon.

She pulled back the covers and told me to “lie face down,” and launched an attack on my bottom. Three sets of 10 rapid fire. That woke me up.

She left the room and came back with the thick Dragon and small tawse. I looked over my shoulder to see her wielding the thick cane. I only watched the one stroke. Lovely as she looked, the sheer power of the stroke was too much to watch. I buried my face into the pillow and concentrated on trying not to make a fuss. I think I took about 18. Then came the tawse and the annoying intense sting that the very tip induced. About 18 of those too.

Then she fetched the bath brush for a final flourish of about a doze sold thwacks.

“Now perhaps you’ll make sure you get up before me in future,” she said and went downstairs. I needed no further encouragement.

I was shocked to look in the mirror and see two very deep red cheeks with thick black weals. Shocked because normally even after a severe caning my bottom is usually swollen but a deep shade of pink. Has anyone else noticed a difference in marks between bending with the buttocks taut, to laying flat with the buttocks relaxed?

We talked about the session over breakfast and it was made clear this wasn’t the outstanding punishment I am owed but merely a quick reminder than I’m meant to be first out of bed to hand Mistress her dressing gown before she gets up. “Oh no, that punishment you have coming will be far more severe,” she promised.

Corrective measures required

2011-06-15T07:03:00.000-07:00

Things haven’t got any better since my lost post and I feel like every time I’ve written in recent weeks, I’m just saying the same thing. However, I like to keep my blog updated so, many apologies if I am repeating myself.

It’s been a difficult few weeks for Mistress and I. We’ve been apart for so much in the past month or so and when we’ve been together, invariably one or both of us has been busy.

But on the couple of occasions we have spent what should have been quality time, it has been spoilt by having our minds on other things.

We were out window shopping the other day and both had a mind for what we really wanted to do with the day. I didn’t think either of us communicated our thoughts too well at breakfast and our trip escalated into a real air of tension – something that almost never happens between us.

I have to take the lion’s share of the blame because Mistress wasn’t too worried what we did. I had a more concrete idea but I was my usual indecisive self and didn’t speak up. Instead I began to sulk. That is a big non, no with Mistress.

At one point, as we wandered aimlessly around the town, she looked at me in a really angry way – a look I’d not really seen before - and said; “I wish I had a whip with my right now. You’d get such a thrashing.”

She meant it. And the venom with which she said it shook me. But I’ve still not suffered that thrashing.

It’s a thrashing I thoroughly deserve though because in the past four weeks or so I have become complacent and I have forgotten my place. Even I’ve noticed how argumentative I’ve become, questioning Mistress on a couple of occasions.

My faults have been noted.

It’s not that I do it deliberately but I’ve definitely been ignoring our rules and have begun to get above myself.

Now I feel like a child needing a reminder of how to behave. Or perhaps I’m aware of my fallibility and having some kind of corrective measures available means I can rely on it to keep me on track? Am I too dependent on it? Do I, as one with masochistic desires, happily stray, sub-consciously knowing I have a partner who is more than willing to correct me?

It gets worse. A couple of days ago Mistress asked me to pick something up for her on the way home. I forgot. Another big black mark. And rightly so.

I’ve allowed focussing on work mean not focussing on Mistress and she’s said several times she’s far from happy with my attitude and has said that she intends to do something about it when the time is right.

That’s the trouble with trying to live within this kind of relationship – and carry on with everyday life. Ideally any tiny issue could be resolved in a few moments if there were no outside influences. But instead things drag on and just seem to escalate.

I’m not sure when Mistress will determine when the right time might be to correct all this. I’ve reached a stage where I need it. It shouldn’t be that way. I know, I should just snap out of it. To some degree I have, but I am also very well aware that there have been faults that really do need paying for. It’s been mulling over and over in my mind for a few days now and only a good thrashing is going to cleanse me.

The unspoken word

2011-05-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

Following on from my last post, 'No let up in new regime,' it feels like this post should be entitled, 'Let up in new regime.'

Mistress is away on business now for a few days – but then I’m on a business trip, the very day she is due home. We’ll be apart for two weeks.

Yesterday I was expecting a serious dose of the cane. There had been a couple of incidents – both when we were out shopping, both times just me horsing around, mimicking her accent. Sometimes this is okay. Yesterday it was in a bad taste because not only was I mimicking her accent, I corrected Mistress on a couple of mistakes.

She wasn’t happy. One of our golden rules is ‘Never Question Mistress’, so my questioning what she was saying, didn’t go down well. And, knowing that Mistress likes to leave me with a collection of marks, whenever we’re apart, I fully expected to worst.

I know that sounds like I was deliberately asking for it, but far from it. We were in high spirits and having a good laugh. I just overstepped the mark and, expected to pay for it later.

However, nothing happened. We were both otherwise occupied until we went to bed. So once snuggled in bed, I broached the question…

“I expected you to punish me then evening after the incident out shopping.”

“Yes, I intended to but I could see you were very busy with work and I thought that would be more important. Besides, you never showed any inkling of interest in being beaten tonight.”

I’d expected it – punishment that is. Wound myself up to face it. But I’ve been desperately trying to be a good submissive and no longer try to top from the bottom and allow Mistress to 100% control in our relationship.

It’s been working really well. I’ve noted some of the punishments in my blog but I’ve also had a couple of paddlings this past week – all instigated by Mistress. The punishments are painful but I like Mistress having that control over me. And, if I’m honest, it adds something special, having to be on my toes at all times.

I just read about Newports.sub’s latest punishment, brought on by his complacency – over an issue he wasn’t even aware was an issue. It illustrated to me just how much us sub males living within an flr framework, with very intuitive ladies, have to be aware of all situations.

I asked Mistress what she meant by, “interest in being beaten tonight.”

“You have a way of behaving when you are feeling the need for me to beat you,” she said.

I pointed out my days of bratting are over, to which she responded, “I know that, but I can tell from the way you say things and the way you behave, if you are in need of a good beating. Sometimes I like to oblige, sometimes I don’t and sometimes I just want to beat you because you deserve it, whether you like it or not.”

And there are times when perhaps I deserve to be beaten but Mistress is simply not interested in carrying it out. I can live with that.

Mistress did however add: “In future, if you feel you should be punished then it is up to you to tell me. I’m not saying I will oblige but it’s no good you sitting there all evening, hoping I’m going to beat you and then going to bed, saying how frustrated you were that nothing happened.”

We also talked briefly about the need to pick the pace back up in our ‘regime’ when we finally get some quality time together again. It’s something to look forward to. Mistress mentioned she’s feeling a need to be a lot stricter.

No let up in new regime

2011-05-11T16:08:00.000-07:00

Mistress arrived home late tonight. I was upstairs and didn’t even hear her car pull up. The first I heard was, “right, bring a cane down with you now!”

We really are in a ‘no messing around’ situation at the moment. Mistress expects me to greet her at the door. I was upstairs on the computer. She had already unloaded the car by the time it registered she was in the house. Big mistake

But truthfully, I was half expecting another punishment tonight after raising my voice (ever so slightly) in a discussion with Mistress the previous evening. There was no hint of anger or anything, merely me being a male and expecting my voice to be heard. Okay in the workplace. Not okay at home when Mistress is in charge. We had visitors at the time – but her raised eyebrows were enough to remind me of my place.

So despite the marks still plainly visible from the weekend’s sessions, and grazes still not fully healed, Mistress caned me again tonight.

It wasn’t anything too severe but the fact she gave me 18 without any real breaks showed she that the strict weekend regime wasn’t a one-off. I was glad when she finally stopped. I later got a couple of batches of 12, just bench over a footstool, but only light taps in quick succession, which were more a threat of what could be if I stepped out of line any more.

Mistress said I had better blog this now because I’m not going to have any free time tomorrow. That worries me. But she also asked me if I was bored with being caned, and whether I thought it was achieving the goal of improving my attitude.

I’m certainly not bored. But I do have questions – like will being caned regularly cause any long-term damage to my poor bottom cheeks? Will Mistress get bored - especially if she sees no immediate change in my behaviour? Is this regime really improving my attitude? Or is this just one big game we’re playing?

It almost feels like a game – but then I don’t want it to. Maybe there’s not enough formality – just fetch the cane, bend over and suffer. But we both talked it through and that kind of instant correction seemed the way forward where possible. More formality might turn the whole thing back into role play games. I don’t think either of us want that.

Is it real punishment? It feels like it when I have to kneel down after and get lectured on how to behave in future. But it never feels strict enough but then can it when we’re in such a loving relationship and having fun the majority of time (apart from when punishment sessions are required!). So do I expect too much? Does Mistress expect too much?

I’m not sure what we’re doing changes my attitude either but we’ve only hit this new level of severity in the past few days so maybe it’s too early to analyse. Maybe there’s no need to analyse anything as both of us are happy living like this.

I harp back to the weekend and Mistress telling me she’s not so much annoyed by some on my quirks – as frustrated. Caning me helps ease that frustration – as well as make me realise of how my behaviour frustrates her. So that’s all good surely?

It’s been interesting how people have kindly commented on some of my punishment posts on this blog. But I get a feeling that some are surprised by the severity at times. I’m worried I’m painting the wrong picture of our relationship. Maybe I should explain that it’s 100% a loving, caring friendship but, thanks to me requesting some discipline in our relationship, I get punished.

Like the old adage goes, ‘be careful for what you wish for,’ and Mistress is only following a lead I suggested. Never in my wildest dream could I have imagined I’d be living a lifestyle where corporal punishment is used regularly in our home as a means of correcting my errors – or that Mistress would embrace it with such enthusiasm.

That fact that Mistress is driving this side of our relationship only adds to the beauty of us being together. Maybe it’s best to stop analysing and fully accept what is happening here.

Mistress introduces strict new regime

2011-05-08T12:52:00.000-07:00

My bottom feels bruised and sore after one of the strictest weekends ever with Mistress.

I don’t know about you, but normally when I punished, there’s the initial hurt, the sting lasts for a short while but then it’s gone – a faint memory - and marks that last a few days at most.

This weekend my poor bottom has throbbed and burned, and every little movement is a reminder of how marked and how swollen my cheeks are.

Mistress had warned me that I was going to pay for every little thing that annoyed her during the week, and she didn’t disappoint in her threat.

So, even though I was punished quite severely on Friday night: once over the bench for several dozen with the cane and then back over the leather footstool for a good paddling later, there was no let up on Saturday or Sunday either.

This was a departure. Mistress normally punishes me once or maybe twice during a weekend and will stop beating me at the slightest hint of a graze. Not this weekend.

I feared the worst when Mistress didn’t tell me to put all the implements away after the first punishment. There they sat, poised for action on the couch throughout the weekend. And they got action.

After my second beating on Friday, Mistress said, ‘I don’t see you’ve really learned anything from tonight. I need to know, what am I going to have to do to stop you making the same mistakes? Do you deliberately try to wind up so I will cane you? Go and write down exactly how you feel about this, what we need for this all to become far more effective and we’ll discuss this further over the weekend.’

This is what I wrote;

My Darling Mistress:

The answer to your second question is no, I didn’t deliberately wind you up. Though it wasn’t always like that. I used to deliberately play the brat to ensure a beating, when I wanted it. That meant it was always on my terms when I was in the mood.

But I think you realised this some time ago and now I’m punished when you decide, which is a positive step, he this evening’s session for several infractions both today and over the last few days. I certainly wasn’t in the mood for it but thank you so much for correcting me.

So to your first question Mistress: I think you know that, for a masochist, being caned can be quite pleasurable – but only if it’s delivered in such a way that it’s possible to savour each stroke.

For example, prior to my relationship, as you know, I once was given a judicial canings- by a Lady with a fearsome reputation for severity. While each stroke delivered an incredible impact, the gaps (some up to 20s or even more) between each were enough to for me to compose myself for the next one. It meant absorbing every last intense stinging moment before the next intense impact. I took all 36 without any really drama and could have taken more but more important it was an extremely enjoyable experience.

Tonight though Mistress you gave me six with 10s gaps then 12 with no gap at all. And I made a right fuss because the pain was too much in a short space of time. But then, you stopped because of my moaning – and that allowed me to regain my composure.

So in answer to your question Mistress, I am probably signing my own pain warrant here, but I think the answer for a more effective method of punishment is firstly to be more ruthless and reduce the time between strokes. If you are hurting me, I’m going to moan - it’s a natural reaction.

But, my feeling is that any punishment has to have a degree of severity to have an effect, otherwise there’s nothing to fear. Obviously I don’t set out to ever upset you or annoy you but I am aware that because of my failings, this sometimes happens.

I think this weekend it became clear what does annoy you and I will try harder to not to do these things in future. I don’t want to annoy you – or to fail you - but perhaps it’s good for us to have that safety net of corrective measures if I do.

xxx

The next morning Mistress punished me again. Before we had even finished breakfast, I found myself over a foot stool being paddled. A couple of hours later I was over the bench being caned yet again. These weren’t lightweight taps either but full force and they hurt like hell on my already sore bottom. Each time it was for small, but pertinent offences that annoyed Mistress.

At this time Mistress had not read my notes and I was beginning to think I should rewrite them, explaining that under this weekend’s regime I was learning fast.

But when we were out shopping Mistress suddenly asked, ‘what happened to the note you were meant to have written me last night?’

I explained I had written it but had not had a chance to print if. Mistress asked me to tell her its contents. Which, I proceeded to do – but pointed out, it seemed like she had already read my mind.

That was far from the end of the story. I was beaten again Saturday night and twice on Sunday and it became all too clear that Mistress had taken my thoughts on board. Now the cane or paddle strokes continued way beyond the point I began moaning. I was being pushed harder and harder and by the time I was ordered to my feet after each session, I was sweating profusely, my heartbeat was ragged, I was shaking and, while I was not in tears, my eyes were well and truly moist from screwing them so tightly. My throat was also dry and sore, thanks to the muffled screams I was trying to fight back.

After the final session, Mistress told me to compile my thoughts on the weekend, which I have done below;

My darling Mistress:

I think this weekend has been a giant step forward after six years or so of our flr.

In some ways, the thoughts I penned on Friday night were largely overtaken by the events of Saturday and Sunday.

I feel that this weekend is the first time you have punished me because you wanted to actually teach me a lesson and the first time you’ve punished me severely enough to achieve the goal of correcting my real faults.

I know you had warned me I would suffer this weekend but I had no idea just how severe you would be. I noted a new edge to the way you beat me – deliberately pulling my pants down further so you could aim not one, but several strokes into the crease between my bottom and thighs, deliberately wrapping the whip around my thighs, and paddling my thighs and bottoms of my feet (albeit not with any force but still enough to smart).

You say I’ve learned nothing from all of this. Well that may have appeared so to on Friday night but things have changed since then.

I accept it’s going to be a long process to rehabilitate me after years of my silly attitude and lazy ways, but I thank you for trying to do this and for fully embracing this kind of regime.

I think if the events of this weekend become routine practice, then over time I will indeed change.

I say this because I came to a point – several times – during this weekend where I didn’t want to feel the cane anymore, not just in the session, but for the rest of the weekend. But time and again you told me to fetch it for another dose and believe me, it was with a feeling of dread each time I obeyed your orders.

I suppose the biggest thing is that our discussions this weekend helped bring home to me how annoying I am at times and I understand that I thoroughly deserve to be corrected for my ways.

These three days have been very emotional for me, the beatings on at least two occasions almost bringing me to tears and this morning’s having me on the verge of begging you to stop. I think the only thing stopping me doing that was a realisation, deep down, that I deserved what I was getting.

And far from it having a negative effect on our relationship, it’s made me appreciate even more how much love you have for me and how hard you work to enrich our relationship by doing the things you know will make me happy.

Personally, I love submitting to your authority just makes me feel so much love and respect for you.

I only hope I can repay this love and affection you have shown me, by behaving in a manner that pleases you as much as you please me my darling.

xxx

If you have got this far you might well be wondering what it is that annoys Mistress so much? There are three things, my indecision, my negative attitude and my saying no, when I mean yes and vice versa. How does this affect our relationship? My indecision affects everything so when Mistress asks me what I’d like to eat or do, she can never get a straight answer. Maybe that’s because I don’t like making decisions and prefer her to take the lead – but Mistress does not always want the burden and it’s understandable why it annoys her so.

My negative attitude just brings us both down and finally, my no, meaning yes just infuriates Mistress and confuses every single thing we do and I’ve no idea why I do it - unless it’s some kind of way of attracting attention.

So do I do these things deliberately to annoy Mistress, knowing she might punish me? I definitely used to. More recently I don’t think so but maybe subconsciously it’s still there. I do have a masochistic streak and get off on receiving corporal punishment. So maybe that’s the answer.

But this weekend was different. Believe me I had no feelings of excitement going to get the cane for the umpteenth time – only dread. So who knows? If Mistress does continue this severity of regime for any length of time maybe the fascination of the cane will be replaced with fear of the cane. And in some ways, that’s what I’ve been searching for all this time. Is it really about me, wanting to please Mistress more - or is it me delving deeper and deeper into my masochistic fantasy world?

Our cane collection (1)

2011-04-29T10:20:00.000-07:00

With Mistress away, the chores up together and my own work done, I was tidying our ‘special wardrobe’ earlier and laid our corporal punishment collection out to take some pictures. And thought I thought, why not explain a little about them though the blog?

I’ve done four separate blogs to cover all the different types of percussion instruments we have in our home…..

This straight-handled cane collection gets the most use. The two with the leopard skin handles are from Quality Control and are Dragon canes. They are the most feared by me in the collection and the ones Mistress like using the most.

The thinnest one (34” long x 7mm thick) stings like hell and is, with little doubt, the most effective punishment tool we have. Mistress knows how much it hurts so tends to choose this one when she feels I need some serious correction.

The thickest Dragon (40” long x 10mm thick) has a deep thud and Mistress likes to use it for prolonged punishment canings where it’s less inclined to graze than the thinner one.

Next up are three rattan canes from Coventry Canes (7mm, 9mm and 12mm – all 32” long), bought via their e-bay shop. They don’t have that classy finish of the Quality Control canes but they are well made and very durable.

We bought all of these canes about the same time six years ago when we first started on this road and they have all had plenty of use and we would recommend either company.

The thickest of the Coventry Canes is a beast. It’s shorter and I just think that Mistress finds it easier to use harder than all the longer canes so punishment with that is as effective – or even more effective than the thick Dragon.

The thinner canes are the same length as the thin Dragon and don’t even come close in terms or sting or after burn.

The pink-handled cane was from a longer Cane-Iac cane that broke. We bound a handle using foam and pink ribbon and intended to use it as an OTK cane but it’s not been used since.

The top cane is 37” long x 10mm thick and quite dense and not very flexible either. I bought years and years ago but can’t remember when and I’ve no idea of the material. It’s got a rather dead feeling to use - and to receive – so consequently we’ve never really used it for more than the odd stroke when we first started down this road.

Cane collection 2

2011-04-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

As you can see, these are our crook-handled canes. Mistress isn’t a great fan of these because she’s never comfortable with the crook part of the handle and prefers to use straight handle canes.

Being a scholar of historical disciplinary methods I used to be fixated by the sight of a crook-handled cane but these days I’m more in favour of straight handle canes too although I do have one cane in this collection that’s close to me heart..

The bottom one was the first cane I ever bought, maybe 15 years ago in the hope that my former wife might entertain my fantasies. It never got used until Mistress and I began our journey of corporal punishment together.

Although Mistress isn’t a fan of this cane, I adore it. It’s heavy enough to give quite a thud on impact but then the sting is delicious, with a nice warm after glow. It’s altogether organic and something to savour where the thin Dragon is a vicious sting and the thick Dragon is an equally vicious thud.

Without doubt, this cane (36” long x 11mm thick) takes me to places I want to be and the trouble is, when we’ve used this is prolonged sessions when we used to just play ‘spanking games’, it was hard to know when to stop!

The darker cane is a Smoked Dragon (32” long x 12mm) from Coventry Canes. Being a Dragon, it barely flexes and whacks down with one hell of a thud but rarely gets used as Mistress prefers the straight handled Dragons.

The other two are also from Coventry Canes (32” long x 7mm and 5mm respectively). I personally don’t like the grey-ish looking finish of this rattan but I love their swishy qualities. Mistress finds them hard to control – they tend to spin in her hand – which is why the thinnest one has a grip we made of foam and pink ribbon.

Mistress likes using this when she’s in what I can only term (at my peril if she reads this) a frivolous mood - laying on large numbers of strokes at a rapid pace and laughing as I squirm around. The strokes are not hard, and barely raise a weal, but the sting is incredible when there’s no respite. I have a love-hate relationship with these two canes!

Crop, birch and whip

2011-04-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

The riding crop is by far Mistresses favourite tool. We bought it from Quality Control and it’s beautifully made and bears a ‘County, Made in England’ logo on the tab. It’s 28” long, and the shaft tapers from 10mm at the business end to 13mm. It’s also incredibly flexible – leather plaited over some kind of flexy shaft.

When it arrived I was so frightened by it. My thought was that if it was designed to get a message through the skin of a horse, what damage would it do to me? But Mistress uses this absolutely full force on me and though it hurts, it’s not got the stinging venom of a cane.

What I find is that is the stroke makes a loud whacking nose when it lands, the sting of the tab connected dead square on flesh is okay. If it doesn’t connect dead flat, it’s more of a thud and no real noise.

It’s now used more for pleasure by Mistress than a real tool of correction.

The collection of thin rattan above it is from Canes 4 Pain in the States. It’s 24” long and consists of 15 4mm thick strands, tipped in some kind of purple plastic coating at the business end and bound together in neat handle. It needs soaking before had to add some weight and delivers a nice stinging sensation but we don’t tend to use it much anymore.

I love the Canes 4 Pain website though – so many lovely toys.

Finally the top item is a rather aptly name ‘Wicked’ from Cane-Iac in the States and consists of four strands of hard plastic tube, bound into a handle. It’s 21” long and the four tubes are each 7mm diameter. It gives a good stinging sensation but it’s not one of Mistress or my favourites.

Paddles

2011-04-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

Finally we have our paddle collection – which, in truth, we’ve only just started to really to get the best of.

Bottom of the picture is an absolutely beautifully crafted three-tailed ‘Trident Paddle’ from MC Customs in Scotland and bearing the logo ‘M Campbell Maker Refrewshire’, embossed into the leather.

It’s 18” long, with the tails being 11” long and at 6mm thick is double thickness harness leather. It packs a really good sting and Mistress loves laying it on hard and the only reason I can think we don’t use it more is that it simply makes one hell of a crack when it connects with my bare bottom! Not ideal when you live in a semi-detatched house.

The little black two-tailed tawse (15” long, with 10” tails and 5mm thick leather) above it was bought to fit into Mistresses handbag so we could take it with us on weekend trips away. But it’s so ineffective, it’s largely redundant .Might make a good tool across the palms and soles of the feet though…. Neither of us had thought of that before!

The paddle above it is an old Jokari bat – they used to be available in pairs with a small hard rubber ball and used as a tennis-type game in the garden apparently. As a spanking paddle it’s a serious bit of kit, made from 8mm thick plywood and neatly 15” long. It’s a heavyweight whack applied with force, but like the leather paddle, makes a right noise.

Next up is a rather lovely leather paddle made by Quality Control which we bought at the London Fetish Fair last year. It’s just over 13” long but double thickness harness leather and 10mm thick. When we bought it, it felt very stiff, almost wood-like but because the weight is all in the business end, it’s got real flexibility in what you’d term the shaft but the head that impacts on your fleshy bottom cheeks has absolutely no give at all. Its packs a really stingy, thuddy punch and Mistress loves using it. It’s not my friend but I have to say it is rather a pleasure to suffer it.

Finally the bath brush. Definitely not my friend but Mistress adores it. We bought it in Boots chemist only a few weeks back and the one beating I’ve had from it so far wasn’t nice. It’s only 14” long but 15mm thick beech (I think) and produces a hellish sting that I find really hard to take (I blogged about this at the time).

However, it’s salutary effective has led to discussion here about whether we need something even more effective, a proper US-style paddle in the arsenal – something along the lines of a Spencer paddle, an implement if used in conjunction with Dorothy Spencer’s 1936 Spencer spanking plan is said to underpin the whole ethos of a female-led relationship. Assuming the document is real of course.

In need of the cane

2011-04-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

Mistress and I have barely seen each other four a couple of weeks. We’ve been that busy with work. If I’m home, she’s away and vice versa. Our flr isn’t falling apart. It’s just non existent right now because we’re not in each other’s company long enough to even think about it. It’s not ideal but that’s how things are. We have to work and, if I’m honest, I’m feeling pretty stressed and under pressure. And I know Mistress is too.

The little time we’re together, we spend catching up on routine stuff interspersed with lots of kisses and cuddles. I try my best to ease her burden by looking after the house and cooking but it’s not ideal and I know I’ve been coming up short, simply because my focus has to be elsewhere right now.

I’ve just finished working late at home. Mistress is away on business. I decided to catch up on some personal e-mails and ended up surfing for half an hour when really I should be in bed.

I’ve watched a few really severe caning clips, it’s only now made me realise that the stress I’ve been feeling probably could be alleviated by a simple thrashing.

Does anyone else find that punishment isn’t just a small part of an flr but actually eases the stress of everyday life? It does for me and Mistress recently surprised me on this very subject. She caned me when I got in from work – for something I’d done wrong anyway - but admitted later it purged some of her frustrations from earlier in the day.

I wonder whether my natural masochistic tendencies are triggered by some subliminal message and then the frustrations build until finally the release comes in the form of punishment. Or whether work becomes so intense my masochistic tendencies are somehow triggered as a ‘pleasurable’ safety valve to override those stresses.

I know I’m probably talking nonsense but even writing this is good therapy and the fact remains, my recent lack of acquaintance with the cane is giving the fantasy element in my brain a serious workout.

If Mistress was here right now I’d be begging her to beat me without mercy with our Dragon cane. But if Mistress was here right now and was flexing the Dragon cane in front of me, telling me to bend over the bench, I’d probably be doing everything I could to persuade her not to beat me.

Now where is the sense in all of that?

The real benefits of a Female Led Relationship

2011-04-17T01:48:00.000-07:00

Last night, Mistress and I were discussing our flr regime and how we thought it enriched our relationship.

Do you have conversations like this?

From Mistresses point of view, she hates doing any kind of household chores and would rather being do some else so she’s more than happy to let me get on and look after the menial tasks. Add in the fact that she has a naturally dominant personality and likes nothing better than to be the one in control issuing the orders.

She also has a sadistic streak – in the nicest possible way. Before I introduced her to the idea domestic corporal punishment, she’d take great delight in flicking my nose, pinching the bottom of my ear, tweaking my nipples when we used to horse around. And still does. So when the opportunity arose to put a bit more sting into things, she didn’t take much persuading. But Mistress was also keen to punish me because she knew it was something I wanted, and needed, in my life.

From my point of view I can take pleasure knowing that by serving Mistress she can enjoy herself doing the things she likes, rather than have to worry about the household chores. And my punishments fulfil a lifelong fascination.

But what, beyond these pleasures, are the real benefits to our relationship as a whole?

The first thing we agree on is that there is no opportunity for complacency in our relationship – at least we can’t see any.

My marriage dissolved in a sea of complacency. We drifted apart the point that there was nothing left. And Mistresses marriage ended in similar way.

We both find that this regime means we always focus on each other. I know that’s something loving couples do in any relationship but this flr just sharpens the focus, helped by simple little rules and sanctions that Mistress has implemented along the way. I’m a naturally lazy and selfish person so I need that little extra focus.

And Mistress says the benefit for her – apart from she no longer has to do any of the menial housework she has always despised - is the enjoyment of ensuring I do keep that focus.

We’ve also noticed how intense and intimate our relationship is and while neither of us can really put a finger on why that is – apart from the fact we are madly in love with each other – we have to suspect that it’s something to do with the intensity and intimacy of living this sometimes quite strict d/s lifestyle.

I’m not articulating this very well so I hope you can understand where we coming form on this. Would any of you agree/disagree on what I’ve said so far?

The other thing we’ve noticed is that there is never tension in our home. I can be moody. Well I was. Not anymore. I’ve never seen Mistress sulky or moody in any way and she wasn’t about to allow me to be. She experienced moodiness in a previous relationship and the first time I got sulky I was quickly snapped out if it. And, if I’m honest, that’s done me a world of good not to have the luxury of being a miserable so and so!

When we first started on this path, Mistress came up with three golden rules. We have more now, but the first three remain etched on my mind. They ought to be after learning them was punctuated by copious use of the cane early in our regime!

The rules are simple:

Never say no to Mistress

Never question Mistress

Mistress is always right.

Those three little rules probably amount to the same thing but they have done us proud so far.

There’s no complacency and no tension in our relationship but an large amount of love and respect. We both feel those are the biggest benefits of Mistress being in charge in our house.

I wonder what others of you see as the real benefits of similar lifestyles?

The history of the cane - on TV!

2011-04-10T15:11:00.001-07:00

I’ve recently been reading an interesting blog called ‘The Sting And The Slap – a journey through our world of BDSM’.

One of the posts alerted readers to a TV programme on BBC in the UK called ‘The History of Corporal Punishment’ and the writer had this to say:

This is the title of a programme being shown tonight on BBC 4 at 2100 hrs. It's been on before, or so I'm reliably informed, but I guess many of you won't have seen it.

Despite your views on punishing children this way, or not, the programme does give some fascinating insights into this controversial subject, and includes some footage from the Isle of Man, where of course, they were still merrily applying the Birch twigs to the backsides of errant male teenagers until fairly recently!

This sort of viewing always opens up the debate on the origins of peoples' spanking predilections, and indeed, the very essence of sub/dom and BDSM relationship interactions. Do they have their roots in childhood punishments ? Are those who were beaten at school or in the home more likely to involve this sort of thing in their adult relationships ? Or does it have little influence ? I know folk into CP who were punished as children this way, and also who were not...

And is the memory of the stern schoolmaster or schoolmistress taking control and administering the cane or strap a way out of the need to be in control in every aspect of modern day life which is replicated as a stress reliever?

I caught the programme on BBC i-player last night and I have to agree it was a fascinating insight. I’ve never condoned the corporal punishment of children but the programme wasn’t just about that, it was an insight into the history of corporal punishment.

I never realized for example that the reason for such violent punishments in years gone by was that there were so few law enforcement officers to keep society in England in check that the only way to keep control was by fear.

A lot of the programme was given over to judicial punishment, particularly in the Isle of Man where the birch was used for adults as well as adolescents, the island trying (and ultimately failing) to keep it’s strict judicial practice to prevent the kind of upsurge of loutish, thuggish crime we experienced on the mainland.

I was at school in the Seventies but I never suffered corporal punishment at school (or in the home) but I was always fascinated by it and lived through the huge publicity generated by STOPP – The Society of Teachers Opposed to Physical Punishment.

Interesting to look back though this programme and discover that many pupils actually advocated the use of the cane as a way of keeping order in the class. Interesting also to learn that when the final vote for abolition in the UK, the government of the day won by a single vote – and several key voters were stuck in a traffic jam caused by a royal wedding on the same day.

I think the very thing that made me so interested in the cane as an adult was actually constantly living under the threat of it at school. It seemed like that even though the cane was used infrequently in the school I went to, it was never far from our conversations. And for me, the fear of the cane and, more important, the fear of the humiliation of everyone knowing if I had been caned, was always tinged with excitement – excitement that also had a sexual connotation.

Initially I wondered why the programme was being aired again. I’d not heard any recent rumblings of activists trying to re-introduced corporal punishment into society (don’t laugh, it happens from time to time) but apparently it was part of a series currently being aired on law and justice in the

So, to refer back to the question posed on The Sting And The Slap: “And is the memory of the stern schoolmaster or schoolmistress taking control and administering the cane or strap a way out of the need to be in control in every aspect of modern day life which is replicated as a stress reliever?”

I think the answer has to be yes. I certainly have to be in control in my work but at home I can assume the role of submissive with someone else – Mistress - being in control.

And the cane as stress relief? I’ve not thought of it like that but yes, very cathartic and cleansing.

The really interesting aspect to come out of watching the documentary with Mistress? Her strong interest in the use of the birch. Oh dear……

Did anyone else watch the programme?

Mistress exerting authority

2011-04-09T03:38:00.000-07:00

Mistress doesn’t do bad moods. Never in the time I’ve known her. Normally she’s a really happy, loving, tender person but this past week something is different.

Mistress is asserting herself in a way I’ve not experienced it before. I f we didn’t have this flr regime I’d probably be a worried man but, for once, I’ve worked out what she’s doing. She’s showing my in no uncertain terms what she expects from me.

As you know, I’ve been caned a couple of times in past week and I don’t think it’s the last I’ve seen of the whippy rods for a while. On the contrary, every little area I’m lacking is being picked up.

My office is off the side of the house and I’ve been working late on a project for several nights. Thursday night I got a text. ‘You have a task to complete.’

I read it, took in the message and knew I had the washing up to do and the kitchen to tidy before I went to bed – very late.

Yestarday morning we both woke. I was randy as hell and made approaches to Mistress, only to be rebuffed. ‘Go away, I’m very unhappy with you. You got my text.’

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement of fact. I said yes, and pointed out that I’d done the washing up, tidied up the mess in the kitchen and done some other bits and bobs too.

‘I’m talking about you washing my back.’

My heart sank. How could I be so stupid? I remember the last thing before going out to my office, Mistress had said she was taking a bath and expected me to wash her back.

I tried to console her with a hug but was rebuffed again. ‘Don’t even think of sex. You are going to have to earn it from now on….and you are going to work very hard to persuade me you deserve it.’

We’ve never done chastity. The thought of being locked up fascinates me and I find it slightly amusing how, SB in his blog ‘Serving B, has been trying to muster some sympathy for being locked up.

I’m not locked up but I’m wishing I was. Since my faux pas and our subsequent ‘chat’, Mistress has done nothing but tease me. Especially in bed: She very deft with her toes and I’ll be lying in bed and suddenly get her thigh across my nether regions, and clamp my penis between her thigh and calf. She’ll tap my balls with her foot, and then massage me and then roll over chuckling. Oh the ache! Imagine, poor SB is doing 40 days of denial!

But we love it - don’t we? It’s bizarre but I kind of like it when Mistress denies me. I derive some deep inner satisfaction when she exercises that kind of control. There’s something rather intoxicating about having your lovely partner totally dominate you.

What I’m more worried about now is another round of punishment on my still bruised bottom. The way things are, it’s a given. The reason I’m so worried is that rather than risk adding more grazes with the cane, she might opt for the bath brush and it’s more bruising effect. My initiation with it hurt like hell and I’m honestly a bit scared she might use it again.

There’s certainly no let up in Mistresses new found authority. I got lectured in bed again this morning. Things in the housed not tidy. Not enough attention being paid to Mistress. My faults are many.

Mistress is out all day today visiting friends but warned me that everything had better be ship-shape when she returns – and she’s expecting tea on the table. She’s also warned me that tomorrow I am devoting the entire day to her.

Would I do anything else Mistress?