I am now officially being mentored by an expert female disciplinarian and psychologist, in a bid to get our domestic discipline regime back up and running at home with Mistress.
My first appointment with Lady Pandora on Monday was a humbling yet liberating experience and, surprisingly, has already had a positive effect on my domestic discipline relationship at home with Mistress.
As I explained in an earlier post, Lady Pandora has agreed to mentor me after my domestic discipline relationship with Mistress (my partner) was brought to an end by my refusing to obey Mistress’ authority at all times. There’s nothing wrong with ‘vanilla’ side of our relationship but we both miss the frisson of domestic discipline but can’t seem to get it back on track. So is aim is to understand why things went off the rails and put measures in to ensure it doesn’t happen again.
I’d seen Lady Pandora a couple of times for punishment many years ago (prior to my relationship with Mistress) and knew I could trust her implicitly to deal with our issues in a positive, professional manner. As well as being an expert corporal punishment practitioner, she’s also trained in psychology so I knew she could not only get to the bottom of our issues (sorry about that terrible pun) but also offer a positive long-term solution to our issues.
I desperately wanted to see if Lady Pandora could unravel whether I was simply using the problems I’d caused in our domestic discipline regime as an excuse to indulge in corporal punishment OR, I really do want a domestic discipline regime at home and needed to be punished for causing problems.
I’ve always felt it’s an excuse to indulge because it always feels like a bit like we’re role-playing at domestic discipline. But when I stop and think about the positive benefits of it, like no rows, no sulks, keeping me focused, Mistress and I have both seen real benefits.
So after our discussing Lady Pandora and I both concluded it was a bit of both - clearly a need in me to experience some form of CP but I think Lady Pandora’s ‘interrogation’ proved that having some kind of domestic discipline at home is also an important part of my relationship with Mistress, not only for me but also for Mistress.
Lady Pandora conducted a lengthy interview with me in her house to find out the background to my interest in CP and fetish wear etc, which in itself was quite an intense discussion, with me revealing things I’ve never ever talked about with anyone before.
Then she interrogated me about my misbehavior at home and my refusal to accept domestic discipline. Things became even more difficult for me to cope with as Lady Pandora became more and more vociferous in her view that I’d had a lot of work to do to put things right – and she would be making sure things were put right and DD would be restored in our home.
This was no role play but a mix of counseling, psychology and a stern disciplinarian putting me in my place. I felt humiliation and regret but also fear of what was to come.
Then Lady Pandora told me to get changed into my regular punishment uniform that I used to wear at home, plastic pants, pvc mackintosh jacket and pvc knee boots and I was led out of the house, into the garden to the punishment room.
In there she stood in front of me and asked me why I was there and I explained that I had caused a lot of upset in my relationship by refusing to accept Mistress’ authority and punishment.
With that Lady Pandora told me to get on the black Fetters bench because I needed to be punished for all the issues I’d caused at home. I was fastened securely down and then she pulled my plastic pants down. I’d had to keep my mackintosh and boots on.
The bench keeps you perfectly still. There’s no option to writhe around and there’s a thick, wide protective pad that sits across your lower spine. You know whatever happens you are 100% safe from miss-hits. Having that knowledge helps you focus purely on the punishment itself.
I had no idea how many strokes I was to receive or what instruments she would use but my heart was pounding because it was obvious she was very displeased with me so I knew it was going to be a painful experience.
She then said, ‘The punishment will be in sets of six and I felt her tap the cane against my bottom.”
I was shocked how much the first stroke hurt. Normally I don’t feel the real pain until three of four but this hurt a lot. A really heavy, thuddy sting so I knew she was using some kind of Dragon cane.
By five strokes I was becoming vocal and, if I’m honest, I was close to asking her to stop. Lady Pandora canes so hard – harder than anyone I’ve experienced but somehow I resisted asking her to stop and the punishment continued. At 12 she reminded me why I was being punished.
I had 24 strokes with that cane and at some point Lady Pandora said, “It’s been a while hasn’t it?” She could tell how much I was struggling to take them and constantly reminded me to breath deep and slow.
That’s the thing about Lady Pandora, she cares absolutely for those in her charge. Yes, she doesn’t mess about administering the cane but everything she does is done with safety in mind.
At 24 she changed the cane and I got another lecture on the error of my ways. This next cane was heavier. Oh my goodness it hurt so much. 12 more strokes. My eyes were moist but I wasn’t actually crying, though I do recall many pathetic wimpers.
At 36 she bent down and told me I’d done well and asked me if my bottom had gone numb. I replied I wasn’t sure because every stroke hurt so much. I was relieved it was all over and relaxed for a split second. I thanked her for punishing me but then she said, “Oh it’s not over yet, there’s a long way to go.”
I was devastated and felt like crying. I didn’t think I could take any more. She ran her fingers over the welts. “A little bit numb maybe, let see if we can wake that bottom up a little.”
The first stroke with this fresh cane had me yelp. It had the same deep thud and the previous cane but the initial sting was incredibly intense. I had 12 like this and they really, really hurt. I could take the thud but this was the most intense 12 strokes I’d ever had – or so I thought.
Then Lady Pandora bent down again and whispered: “You’ve had 48 strokes of the cane and you’ve taken them well but I want you to do one more thing for me. I want you to take a final six strokes but these will really hurt you. Will you do this?”
“Yes ma’am,” I replied without even considering there would be an option.
“Good. I want you to take them stoically because if there is, you will get the stroke again. Do you understand?’
The first stroke was the hardest, most fearsome cane stroke I can ever recall. The sheer thud shocked me to the core and the sting was like a red hot poker, not just through my poor bottom, but my entire body. I remember what she said about being stoic and breathed as slowly and deeply as I could to control the pain.
I had to take five more of those? I had no choice. I managed to maintain my slow breathing throughout and somehow soaked up the agony. I later discovered the cane she used for the final six was the same, long thick cane she uses for Judicial canings.
When the punishment was over Lady Pandora unbuckled my wrists first and they fell limp by my side. I was utterly exhausted after what had been the most incredibly painful, intense session of corporal punishment I’ve ever experienced.
After a few minutes lying on the bench, Lady Pandora invited me back to the house for a cup of tea and a chat. It was more convivial then the earlier discussion but she kept reminding that I would go home and be much more respectful to Mistress and more accepting of her authority.
The rules are that I must now send a regular monthly update of the progress made at home and I will report to Lady Pandora when Mistress and her deem it necessary for me to be punished. It’s now no longer my choice.
She warned me that if there is no progress at all to report, then the next time I visit all the cane strokes will be delivered with the Judicial cane – which is a pretty scary threat to have hanging over me.
The weird thing is that since I’ve been back home, Mistress has instinctively started laying down the law, telling me to get the toilet and bathroom cleaned, telling me to do the dishes, ordering me to meet her for coffee at 10.30am sharp.
It seems this punishment session with Lady Pandora has unlocked the inner Mistress in her. Lady Pandora will be delighted.
The frightening thing for me, after this experience over Lady Pandora’s bench and Mistress suddenly feeling authoritative again, it won’t matter how well I behave, part of this mentoring process include corporal punishment.
I can’t see Mistress being to keen on dealing with me, not for a while anyway – so as night follows days, I know not matter how well I behave there will be cause for correction and that means only one thing: at some point in the near future I’ll be over Lady Pandora’s bench again suffering a similar intense thrashing.
The difference next time that I’ll be much more scared when I arrive at Lady Pandora’s house because I’ll know exactly what is coming.