Monday, 18 June 2018

A new beginning - again

I delete this blog last week but then realised it’s an important cathartic tool for me to explain what’s in my head regarding  my interests in domestic discipline specifically and corporal punishment generally, even if no one else ever reads it.  

I think it was 2015 when things started to go wrong with our Domestic Discipline regime. It was all my fault. I refused punishment a few times, knocked the confidence of Mistress and she lost interest in trying to determine when or why I was ready to accept her authority.

I stopped blogging for a good 18 months, losing interest completely in DD then tried to pick my thoughts up last year with a couple of posts just to explain where we were at.

Why bother? The undercurrent of me submitting to Mistress’ authority in some form or other had never quite left me and it was obvious Mistress still enjoyed having some power of control over me, even if it was sending me to someone else for correction.

That was when Mistress sent me to a mentor for the first time – a male mentor. I was severely caned but while his mentoring side didn’t really work but at least temporarily cured me of my ‘need’ for the cane. Mistress said I was fairly subdued for a few weeks behaviour wise so she was happy but we both realised that a) Master was too far away for regular visits and b) he was only really interested in applying the cane and rather than helping me become more attentive to Mistress’ needs.

We found another Master who offered a mentoring service. To become someone he would mentor I had to undergo an induction session. I had to supply reasons for needing to be mentored, which I did, but this first visit was entirely for him to assess my suitability.

He wanted to see how respectful I was, how submissive I was, how accepting I was of his rather severe punishments. I was spanked, strapped and paddled far beyond anything I’d ever suffered but managed to take it all – though he did note: “you’ve never been punished like this before have you boy?”

Then came the cane. He was a widely travelled gent and said he’d picked up the canes in Singapore. They were thick Dragon canes, two of them, almost show canes with their red, white and black plaited leather grips. I felt sick thinking how savage these beautiful rods were.

Sure enough my caning was the most painful I’ve had. But somehow I stayed bend over the table and took 18 before blood was drawn. I think it’s fair to say that both of us were disappointed to have to stop (both of us had a no blood rule!).  Form my point of view I felt sad that a) we were unable to reach the natural conclusion of 36 strokes because I wanted to know where such a severe beating would take me (I was close to tears as it was) and b) I felt like let him my Master down.

Despite the severity of the punishment I felt there was a natural bond between us – I wanted to do my best for him for some reason - and if he did start to become the mentor he said he was, it would be something to build on.

Alas when he next emailed me to inform me I’d passed my induction, he said I would be required to report to him on a monthly basis, with a detailed account of misdemeanors supplied by Mistress, which he would deal with.

I asked if we could change it to bi-monthly visits but he declined. Mistress and I discussed this and, while she was keen for me to see him on a regular basis, she felt the damage caused by the punishment would require at least two months between visits, possibly three so we decided it best not to continue the relationship.

We engaged a third Master who was another offering a mentoring service. He was a very good mentor-like figure. He gave me my first ever otk spanking. I’d always though if spanking as a bit lame for grown ups but I soon realised what misconception I’ve been underr.  He started using his hand then progressed to leather paddle and hairbrush. I’ve no idea how long I was over his knees – five minutes, maybe ten - but it was the most intensive punishment I’ve had and twice I was close to jumping up and running out of the door. I was on the verge of crying, yelping like a child after every whack.

I’d never thought of spanking as suitable punishment for an adult but since that experience I’ve changed my mind totally and can see the benefits that can come from what it quite a humiliating and extremely painful experience.

Then I experienced another punishment I’ve never had – the tawse on my hands. I’ve had a few odd strokes over the years and hated it but this time I got six full-blooded strokes on each hand with his very thick two-tailed tawse and realise now how terrible it much have been for schoolboys. The pain is so numbing yet you feel that intense sting each time 

That was followed by the tawse and the cane on my already sore bottom but didn’t have the same devastating effects and the spanking and hand tawsing.

Post punishment, I got corner time for a good 15-20 minutes in which time I was lectured on all my faults and told exactly what was expected of me going forward – and the sanctions that would be imposed  should I fall short.

Again, I’d really dismissed corner time as a school role play activity but believe me I felt very humbled stood there with my nose against the wall, hands on my head, having all my faults laid bare and scared to death that at any moment I might be getting more corporal punishment.

I reported to Mistress that maybe we should engage him as my mentor because he ticked all the boxes but then I saw some on-line posts of his I didn’t like and told Mistress we’d best not pursue it. She agreed 100%.

I’ll explain the plan that’s been put in place for me tomorrow and how I intend to progress the blog in future.

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