My first couple of posts in a long time didn’t take long to draw a reaction and someone asked me via email how it was I could accept punishment from a male disciplinarian considering my preference for a female led relationship.
A very similar question came up on a newsletter I get from a Lady disciplinarian, which discusses all manner of corporal punishment topics; whether someone would get the same out of visiting a male disciplinarian as a female.
My view, from someone who has a need for regular discipline, is that I feel the important factor here – for me - is not the gender of the disciplinarian but the level of authentic authority the person actually has.
The kind of discipline I seek is real, in as much that I know I have certain faults and no matter how hard I try to overcome those faults, I always tend to err and feel a need to suffer for my faults.
Of course, how I got here was driven by a fascination for the cane and discipline. I cannot deny there’s a fear and excitement beforehand followed by the humiliation of the punishment ritual and the pleasurable sting of the cane.
But I’ve always considered that if I am to be punished for real faults – then the punishment has to be real – even though we all know there’s always going to be an element of ‘play’. That worked between Mistress and I for a long time, but what happened is I took her for granted and began to control the situations instead of submitting to her fully.
We both realised that it might help the situation if my punishment was dealt with by a third party but what was needed wasn’t just a Headmaster or Headmistress, but a real mentor willing to delve into my psyche, to understand my faults and then administer the level of punishment he or she thinks necessary.
In other words, the situation is totally controlled by the disciplinarian/mentor, just as it would have been if we rolled the clock back to schooldays.
I’d seen a couple of Masters way back in the midst of time when I first began to explore my interest in corporal punishment. Both were exemplary and taught me so much. But then so did some (but not all) of the female disciplinarians I saw too.
But I hadn’t really considered seeing a Master as an option, and neither had I considered seeing a Lady disciplinarian either, once Mistress took control of my discipline.
But when things went awry with our DD regime and Mistress suggested I should ‘see someone else for the cane’ that I started to look around on the net for solutions. I came across (and joined) CP Reminiscences a male-only site that says what it is, reminiscences of school corporal punishment. But on the forum I chatted with many who were still enacting their past and met several Masters, some who also mentored. I mentioned this to Mistress and we both agreed it might be worth seeking an appointment with one of these Masters. She seemed delighted and relieved to have the onus of my discipline taken off her shoulders.
In my experience, any liking for the cane quickly disappears when confronted by an experienced strict disciplinarian/mentor who has the ability to impart his or her authority on me and administer a real punishment that befits an adult who knows he has over-stepped the mark or under-performed. I discovered this with one particular Master and one particular Lady disciplinarian many years ago – and, of course, later with Mistress.
This kind of real (I use the word deliberately rather than ‘authentic’) punishment is way beyond any pleasurable experience but can, in my experience, only be delivered by a woman or man who fully appreciates what discipline is all about and genuinely wants to mentor someone.
Some baulk at paying for this kind of service (I didn’t pay incidentally) but I don’t think money comes into it. It is a service and I’d be willing to pay, though it’s always good to discover a disciplinarian who is willing to offer his or her services for free.
The secret is the painstaking research to find the right kind of person who fits the bill because there are very few real disciplinarians/mentors out there willing to make the kind of commitment it takes to understand the person - and their issues - and deal with them in a way that will bring some kind of improvement. It involves a lot of trust between both parties but can, in my opinion bring effective results.