Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Punishment questions to ponder

I was just reading some on-line male-male spanking stories. Most of it was fiction but some related what felt like very real experiences. It’s a dynamic I find interesting, due, I suppose to my schooldays when it was a male teacher who usually carried out punishment. And in my own early exploration into the world of CP I was introduced to the 'delights' of the cane by a two different male disciplinarians.

My desire was always to be dominated by a powerful woman but back then, I was single and didn’t (initially) like the idea of paying to be punished and there were very few women I could find, willing to discipline me purely for pleasure.

The two men I was disciplined by were both absolutely, 100% interested in acting out their own fascination with being strict disciplinarians, which suited me at the time. I’m very grateful to both of them for allowing me to live out a fantasy that had become an obsession, even though I endured some extremely painful lessons on my road to discovery.

One of the M-M writers posed a series of questions to his readers, which I found an interesting interrogation of my own desires to be punished. So I thought I’d air them here to – and ask if any of you in domestic discipline relationships wanted to offer your own comments.

The writer said: ‘The reasons an adult wants or needs a spanking usually include one or more of the following reasons.’ And then expected the respondents to reply to each statement or question – which I’ve done, then expanded on some answers here on my own blog.

He is a masochist
I would agree that I have some masochistic leanings and a need to suffer the cane.

He has some sort of sexual desire for a spanking
There is sexual excitement before and after - but never during. But it’s no a desire rather than an in-built need to face up to punishment – and accept whatever is dealt me.

He enjoys the excitement of giving up control to another person
Definitely. It's the ultimate display of my submission. In my case to my partner, Mistress. There is an intensely warm feeling of gratitude towards her when she announces I’m to be punished and an ever intense feeling of love an affection after I’ve been made to suffer.

He has deep rooted guilt that needs purging
There's something in that too. I have general dislike for my own personality at times and both accept and feel a need to suffer for things I’ve done, said, or thought.

He wants to be punished for specific misdeeds to motivate himself to improve his behaviour
I agree with that.  I believe that punishment is an effective way to cure my laziness and sometime overbearing persona.

He wants to re-live his childhood experiences
I was never caned at school but knew others that were and understood – and accepted - the reasons for corporal punishment and the methods used. I never felt resentment that the cane was used to maintain discipline. It was an accepted part of life at the time.

He wants to experience what he did not get as a child but his childhood friends received
I always wanted to know what it was like to be caned and wanted to feel what I knew friends had suffered.

It is a macho thing – He wants to prove to himself that he can take it.
Boys caned at school and who took it well became playground heroes. Boys caned but who made a fuss were cry babies. Boys who were never caned – like myself - were rather insignificant. Or at least it felt like it back then. Even as an adult, it's always a challenge to 'take it like a man.' But I generally fail.

What is it about getting a painful punishment that appeals to you. What is your reason. Is it one or more of the above or something else altogether?
A painful punishment does not actually appeal to me at all. BUT it's actually a good method of maintaining discipline in our relationship. We never row and I'm not allowed to sulk. It's also a great way to relieve stress. We both believe in old-fashioned methods of discipline so it works for us. The one thing I'd add is that although I've a lifelong fascination with the cane, a real disciplinary punishment session is a painful experience I’d rather avoid.


  1. Hi RM,

    For me, it is a combination of a desire to be controlled and to be punished for particular misdeeds.

    I didn't know that your first experiences were with male disciplinarians. Very interesting twist.


    1. Hi Dan,

      I’ve responded to your comment ‘an interesting twist’ and your subsequent email in a new post


  2. For me, it is part of the whole dynamic of existing within my FLM with Mistress K. There is something cleansing/therapeutic about being held accountable for my actions (or inactions) in such a way that is so very symbolic of a submissive husband and Dominant Wife in a truly loving marriage. Being required to strip naked, then present yourself to your Mistress for punishment clears the slate for me, and for her. Plus, the aftercare is just so emotionally uplifting.

    1. Hi sub hub

      I totally concur with all your comments. I’d add that it makes for a very intense, loving relationship with never a dull moment