Saturday, 21 February 2015

Is adult CP effective as real discipline?

Mistress was at work and I was quietly pondering the question over coffee, alone in a café earlier today, ‘is it right for me, as an adult, to be subjected to corporal punishment?’

I’m not talking about indulging in CP purely for erotic pleasure. I’m not even talking about my lifelong ‘need’ to suffer the cane from time to time. I was questioning the validity of corporal punishment as a means of maintaining discipline in a domestic setting. Whether it can be a truly effective method of correction?

The problem in this modern world is that the term ‘corporal punishment’ is associated with the traditional methods of correcting the bad behaviour in children. Yet if we look back over history, corporal punishment was also used in adult relationships as a means of correction too.

And judging by the internet, there’s an awfully large number of couples practicing domestic discipline, where it be male or female head of household.

But surely, I told myself, as adults in an enlightened world we are capable of maintaining our self-discipline? And even if we step out of line, surely a quietly spoken word from our partner should set the issues straight?

Of course, real life isn’t quite like that. Even if our own relationship is a loving, happy and content one, we know that other couples have blazing rows, long drawn-out sulks. Issues that haven’t been dealt with quickly and allowed to fester can cause the kind of resentment to lead to a breakdown in a relationship.

Couples don’t always get on, says one who can speak from experience of a failed marriage. But my relationship with Mistress is fantastic. We do get on. We don’t row. We don’t sulk. So why the need for corporal punishment?

In terms of our own relationship, I think the reality is that no matter how much we love each other, both of us either have attributes that annoy the other or do things that displease. Being naturally submissive (in a loving relationship) and, I think, quite tolerant, I accept any foibles my partner may have. I don’t mean that in a sanctimonious way – more a way of putting Mistress (who has dominant tendencies but is not overtly dominant) on her rightful pedestal where, in my eyes, she can do no wrong.

Mistress is especially tolerant of my ways, and without DD, I don’t think we’d have any issues in our relationship. However, I know from previous experience that given an inch, I take miles so it’s always worried me that if Mistress is happy to put up with my lax ways, my natural instinct will be to keep pushing the boundaries. Then before you know it, that horrible resentment could creep in.

That’s probably overstating the case but, ‘to err is human’ and I confess my guilt as being far from perfect.

But is it right for me to suffer the indignity and pain of corporal punishment in order to control my transgressions? Is it necessary?

I know right from wrong. I know when I’m being lazy, being disrespectful, being over-bearing. But I need that short, sharp shock from time to time to awaken me. What I don’t need, again I speak from experience, is being nagged to death! 

Corporal punishment seems to me to be a very effective corrective procedure in the terms of a female led relationship where you have both agreed to use domestic discipline to settle any issues. It means you have rules in place to confront your partner about an issue from the outset – which ensures a very open and honest dialogue. Rather than cause conflict, it helps bind the relationship and increases the levels of respect and trust between partners.

From the submissive’s side, once there is an acceptance that there is an issue comes the understanding of why it needs correcting. With the power exchange created in an FLR, submitting to one’s partner’s authority means it is very satisfying to know she cares enough about our relationship to discuss my shortcomings so openly - and act upon them in an effective way.

From the dominant’s perspective there’s the gratifying knowledge that there is a mechanism in place to deal with any issues that are causing concern, and that the partner is willing to submit to the necessary correction for the good of the relationship.

Why not then just have the discussion and move on? Because using corporal punishment allows the dominant to exert authority, while at the same time, demonstrating love and care with in helping you improve your behaviour. 

So to answer my own question: ‘is it right for me, as an adult, to be subjected to corporal punishment?’
One hundred per cent. By placing my trust in Mistress if am able to feel emotionally and spiritually secure. In accepting her authority I accept her discipline. To be subjected to corporal punishment is a humiliating, painful experience but my willingness to surrender to Mistress allows me to appreciate an intense corrective power. And with that surrender grows an ever-stronger feeling of respect for her, increasing the bond of love between us.

Does it cure me of my infallibility? Of course not. But it does resolve any issues. And both of us feel emotionally and mentally cleansed by the whole process.


  1. Hi RM,

    Your question is one that I tend to ask with another question: Effective for what, and for whom? With respect to the latter, I think the spanking can be quite "effective" for the wife, to the extent that her goals are empowerment and imposing a punishment for bad behavior. So, even if the punishment does not result in complete termination of the bad behavior, it may still be effective, depending on the perspective and the goal.

    I also think it can be effective in changing adult behavior, though the level of effetiveness likely depends on how diligently it is applied. I agree that, in an ideal world, we could also just easily and instantaneously correct our own course of action, but it doesn't really work that way, does it?

  2. Your question and discussion are very interesting and thought provoking. It is one that seems to pop up occasionally at many blogs and forums.

    Naturally, dynamics are going to be different for each couple who practice corporal punishment for whatever reason. And like you the relationship between Cora and I is rather calm; we don't really quarrel at all.

    So for us when Cora administers a discipline session its as much to just show who is in charge.