Saturday, 31 May 2014

Punishment video clips



I was scanning through FetLife and came across some really interesting videos
posted by Russian Princess. I’d recently watched a video of hers where she beats her sub male Chris with a birch switch and I can only image the intense sting of the thin, whippy rod. The ‘birching’ can be viewed at https://fetlife.com/users/11328/videos/177065

A lot of CP clips leave me cold but some impress – and Russian Princess’ certainly do. Whenever I watch clips like this I imagine myself in that position. I marvel at the dominant women, so confidently issuing orders and so effectively administering the punishment. I feel for the poor sub who is suffering (even though he’s there by choice), and ask myself how I’d cope and the answer is probably ‘not that well.’

But the clip I watched most recently is Russian Princess using a really thin rod with two tiny balls at the punishing end. The rod, suitably called the Evil Stick, is really whippy and the balls, I suspect, are weighted to intensify the stinging impact.

Judging by the reaction of her sub, it’s an incredibly effective implement, and he’s left whimpering during the onslaught of strokes – but you can see that anyway if you go to  https://fetlife.com/users/11328/videos/241283

I’d never head of them before but a quick Google search revealed that the rods are made from thin carbon fibre (so therefore incredibly flexible) with a couple of half inch balls glued to it.

From the websites I’ve seen, the idea that the painful effect is created by holding the handle, positioning the stick close to the skin, pull back the tip and let it snap against the skin. Though if you watch Russian Princess in action you’ll see she uses the implement in traditional caning style.

If you are interested in more intense caning then you might take a look at Acheron999’s clips. These take caning to another level.

In this clip, https://fetlife.com/users/743677/videos/59659 Acheron suffers a full force punishment with a really thick cane, followed by a whipping, followed by an even more intense cane session at the end. The sound of the each cane stroke rushing through the air is delectable, followed by the crack as it connects with his poor bottom. Acheron is clearly a hardcore masochist as he took the caning without the slightest of fuss and no movement. And he wasn’t even secured to a bench.

I put myself though the same questions as before and decide that I would need to be tied down for that kind of punishment and I’d make the most awful fuss – but it would be interesting to discover what kind of mental journey I’d be on with the cane lashing down like that. 

It really is a no nonsense caning – yet the clip title is ‘Just some fun.’ And as I commented on the site, if this was fun, I’d hate to see a serious punishment! I clicked ‘love it’ and moved on, but this morning I got a message from Rose of the Lashes who said that she had a clip on her page of a punishment session with Acheron that left him bloodied.

It’s not for the feint of heart – but you can see it here: https://fetlife.com/users/361143/videos/99570
Initially, as I told Rose of the Lashes in our message exchange, I passed on this as it looked too extreme for me – I don’t mind some blood when the cane grazes me but this? Well I warn you, it’s bloody!

But after her message I sat and watched it and have to say the punishment delivered was truly fearsome, yet impressive with some of the hardest cane strokes administered to a bottom that I’ve seen.
I dread to think what it was like to endure – or what the after effect were under the hot water in a shower!

I ask myself if I’d like to experience it and answer those questions personally? I’m not sure. I’d like to say yes but deep down I’d be so worried about the consequences of damage.

Yet throughout the beating, the two ladies and the sub are exchanging banter like they were supping tea from china cups on the lawn on a sunny afternoon. Top marks (excuse the pun) all round I’d say.

Friday, 2 May 2014

Punishment delivered


I had my appointment with the cane last night and it was probably the worst thrashing I’ve ever experienced.

When I saw the mood Mistress came home in I knew I was going to suffer. She wasn’t angry – just in a very determined and aggressive mood, the like of which I’ve rarely seen in her. But when I do, I know to watch out.

There was no lecture, in fact virtually nothing was said apart from the order to bend over the bench which I’d readied.

But I was in a determined mood too. I wanted to get through what ever was coming with the minimum of fuss. The punishment, I told myself was thoroughly warranted and for once I was going to take it manfully.

Mistress broke that resolve within a few seconds. My punishment began with 12 strokes of the thick delrin cane we recently bought. By six of her full-blooded strokes I was begging for her to stop. The effects of this cane are like an amplified version of the thick Dragon – incredible thud with an intense sting that just keeps burning. Normally my whining would result in her just taking the edge off the force of each stroke – but not this time.

By the end of the 12 strokes I was whimpering and begging to be released and sweat was pouring off me.

Next came the thin Dragon. Again full force and virtually no respite between each batch of six. She gave me 24 in total and all through it I was begging for her to stop.

Mistress released me from the bench and told me I’d need to go and attend to my bottom, as there was blood.

And she added: “You are such a wimp. I’ve not even used full force on you yet. I was only just starting out too but clearly your weeks without discipline have let you soften up. Pack everything away. I’ve had enough of your wimpering. We’ll continue this some other time.”

She was right of course.

Rather than giving us both the emotional post -punishment high I think we were both deflated. Me, from failing miserably in my resolve. Her, for giving into to my wimpering once again.

I was really down afterwards and Mistress took my moping personally but I explained I was disappointed in myself for the way I behaved – not disappointed in her application of the cane, which I said, had been perfect. She told me not to worry, I’d have a chance to redeem myself over the next few days. She hadn’t finished with her canes.

Strangely, I felt good about that because I feared she’d had enough of my stupid ways. I think that underlines the issues I have with this whole CP thing. The pain was horrible this time – yet her I was fearing I might not experience it again.

Later in bed we cuddled up and I thanked Mistress for punishing me so effectively. She thought I was being insincere but I explained that I felt much happier now – closer to her, now that I’d had a chance to take in the experience and think about things. Truth was, I’d suddenly realized how significant the evening’s experience had been.

For years I’d wondered what it would be like to be caned way beyond my limits. It was always a goal of my to experience that. I don’t mean just pushing the limits a little – I mean where you truly don’t have any control and just have to take what’s coming.  Tonight’s experience was just that. It felt quite brutal – though I’m sure Mistress’ can strokes were well measured and they were certainly accurate - yet despite Mistress’ protestations that she wasn’t using full force, she’s never drawn blood like she did in that session.

And while I didn’t enjoy the experience itself, I explained to Mistress that I was now feeling much more malleable to her authority again. I said it felt like the cane had once again worked it’s magic.
But that’s not to say there weren’t issues. For one thing our ‘bench’ - a low, folding ladder – is far from ideal. I’m just not secured properly which allows me too much movement – to the point where it’s possible to almost stand upright mid-punishment.

I recall a professional disciplinarian once telling me how important she felt it was for her submissives to be comfortable over the bench, securely fastened. That way, she said, ‘they can focus fully on the punishment.’

I told Mistress this and she added, ‘and what’s more, it would leave the Mistress to focus on apply the cane with maximum force.’ We really must get something sorted.”

Thursday, 1 May 2014

What should we get from punishment?


With Mistress away, I’ve had two days to think about tonight's appointment with the cane.
It used to be quite an intoxicating fantasy when I knew in advance I was to be punished but it’s actually been two very trying days and I’m getting more and more nervous and the hours tick by.

I've recounted my recent lack of enthusiasm for being caned - but I've been taking into account all the things that I’ve done that warrant correction this time around. The list is endless and top of the list is my back chat and snipes at Mistress which she really doesn’t deserve. So while I really don’t want to suffer the cane, in many ways I feel I deserve it.

Disciplineboyfriend recently posed an interesting thought on his blog http://disciplinedboyfriend.wordpress.com: “What should we get out of punishment?”  He answered his own question by saying: “I think I should get a lot of discomfort, pain with implements that I am not comfortable with. Afterwards it should be like absolution and all sins cleansed.

And he felt that C, his disciplinarian girlfriend, “will have to put aside all her feelings while she performs the punishment and will probably need to leave her comfort zone too. During and afterwards she can feel that justice has been done and even be smug. I’m sure the sight of my bottom bright red might do something for her as well, especially if she made a good job of it.”

I can empathise with some of those thoughts – though I don’t see the need for C to feel smug about correcting her boyfriend’s faults.

By its nature, corporal punishment takes us from our comfort zone whether you are on the painful receiving end or administering the pain to someone you love.

From my point of view, punishment is a corrective measure for my real faults therefore, I have to accept pain for it to be effective.

I’ve always believed that if I’m going to be assigned corporal punishment as an adult, then it has to be of a severity that reflects my age and physical size - and has to go beyond my own personal limits – if it is meant to be a real punishment.

Those limits of course vary for all of us but, Mistress and I realized some years ago that my composure had disappeared after a good hard 24 strokes of the cane.

When we decided to adopt a DD regime, Mistress determined that the minimum punishment I could expect would therefore be 36 strokes, quite a way from those limits.

From being an instrument to derive pleasure, when we started out playing cp games, the cane became something to fear – a similar fear one might have had as a schoolboy anticipating six of the best from the Headmaster. The idea being, that fear generates a deterrent factor.

So what do I expect from my punishment this time? I expect to suffer. I expect to be secured over the bench and I expect that Mistress will lay on each stroke as hard as she can, with very little time between the strokes for me to regain my composure. That’s her style. And it is so effective. Anything less means I feel that she’s giving me an easy time and there doesn’t have the effect of being a punishment.
I know from experience I can take the first three strokes in silence but after the fourth stroke my composure will be gone.

I expect that if Mistress is using the thin Dragon cane, its sting will invade not just my bottom but my entire body with a horrible white hot stinging feeling

If it’s the thick Dragon, then each stinging, thudding stroke will make my entire body shudder. And if she’s using the thick synthetic cane, then that stinging thud is even more intense.

Being caned is not enjoyable and I tend to lose all dignity. I cry out, I beg for it to stop, I wriggle, I sweat, I dribble and I shake. It’s quite a humbling, humiliating position to be in. And, no matter what you might read elsewhere, you never get acclimatized to it.  My next punishment will hurt as much as any other. And I’ll experience the same feelings. And we have no safe word for me to escape with. 

Once I’m over the bench I have no option to take what Mistress deems a suitable punishment.
I recently discussed my inability to maintain composure during punihsment with a friend on FetLife, a lady who is subjected to quite severe punishment. She maintains position despite not being secured throughout a punishment and makes no fuss at all. This astounds me, but she insists her ability to maintain composure is partly down to her stubbornness not to give in to the pain, but also because she keeps reminding herself that she deserves the punishment and that it’s her responsibility to behave during the punishment.

When I’m over the bench later today, I’ll think of what she has said and try to follow her example. 
Disciplineboyfriend also posed the questions what positives are there from being punished.

For me it’s more about attitude of mind so the pre-punishment and post punishment feelings are the most important aspects of discipline to me – in fact to the both of us.

Pre-punishment there is genuine dread. I know what is coming but there is no escape. It’s also humbling to be stood in front of Mistress, being lectured like a child, your faults highlighted. The moment I’m told to ‘go and get changed and bring the cane,’ never fail to turn my stomach.

Post punishment I stay over the bench for a few second after my bonds are released waiting the order to get up. By now, Mistress is sat in the leather armchair to the side of the bench and I have to parade my bare bottom before her so she can enjoy her handiwork.

I’m overwhelmed by a feeling of love for Mistress. I want to hug her and kiss and thank her but she knows this and bids me instead to kneel at her feet and thank her for my punishment. Then I’m sent away.
The intensity of feelings linger for hours, days. I feel at peace with the world. Any pressures or stresses have ebbed away. Being caned is a real cathartic experience for me.

When I initially read disciplinedboyfriend’s post a few days ago now, I asked Mistress for her for her views on the subject too and was a bit taken aback by what she said.

“I cane you because you need it,” she said. “I don’t mean you have a need for it, I mean you need correcting.

“It seems that you lose your way too easily. You forget to be respectful and ignore your responsibilities. I used to think you did it deliberately to get me to punish you but I’ve realized over the years that it’s simply the way you are. You can’t help yourself.

“I started punishing you because you asked me to and you said it satisfied a desire in you. So you could say I did it out of my love for you, to give you something you wanted. That’s how I saw it when we used to play CP for fun.

“However, that’s changed over the years and now, I genuinely believe you need to be punished from time to time to keep you in line. I do it to get you to behave in our relationship in a way that suits me.
“It really annoys me now that there are things we’ve discussed over and over that I expect from you – yet still you consistently let me down.

“I suppose that’s one thing that I can derive pleasure from – the fact that I’m able to use discipline to manipulate you to my needs.

“The other thing is that I enjoy seeing you suffer. At first I wasn’t comfortable with hurting you but now I have the experience I don’t seeing mind you suffering. In fact, after you’ve acted like a rude pig, or not bothered to do something you are expected to do, there’s an element of satisfaction in seeing you writhing around and not able to put an end to what’s happening to you – though it annoys me when you whimper so.

“It’s not at all sexual – I don’t experience anything sexual from caning you (there is no sexual aspect to our DD regime), but a form of pleasure.

“And finally, I take a lot of satisfaction from doing my job well. When I took this on, my goal was to do it well. It’s been a challenge for me, learning how to use the cane properly to get the best results – and to use it accurately. So when I see a perfect row of parallel stripes, yes, I do take some real satisfaction from my work.”

I think Mistress probably took all that on board and was thinking of our conversation when she decided to make our appointment for today. If, like me, you take everything that she has said, perhaps you can understand why I'm getting a bit nervous about the process I’m due to experience a little later on.