Sunday was interesting. I was due to meet a friend for a beer before lunch but Mistress informed me the night before that if this was going to happen, I’d have to be on my best behaviour.
She said that any misbehavior on Sunday morning would result in a black mark, three black marks and I’d have to call my friend and cancel. Plus each black mark would warrant the cane.
Mistress managed to award two black marks – one for huffing when told to put some clothes away and another for showing dissent when we were doing some work in the garden. I got away lightly for the second offense with just six strokes. Dissent is a big no, no usually.
So it was touch and go whether I’d go out but I scrapped through and was allowed to see my friend – but only after I’d been caned for the two black marks I’d earned.
After what seemed like a successful weekend, Sunday evening things went awry. Mistress said she’d cook tea, a Sunday roast, which to be honest is one meal I’m hopeless at. So I left her to it while I got on with some of my own work.
Mistress served tea, but once the meal was finished she gave me a stern look.
“You’ve let your self down badly haven’t you?”
“You heard me and know exactly what I mean. You sat down while I cooked tea, while I served it – and then continued to sit there while I took the plate to the kitchen and served pudding, and brought it to you!”
“You said you were going to get tea Mistress.”
“You don’t see it do you?
By now I could see Mistress was very upset.
“You could have come and helped serve dinner. You certainly should have taken the plates to the kitchen and served pudding. I thought I’d just see exactly where we are at and it’s obvious to me, you have learned nothing this weekend.
“Not only that you sit there and behave like you don’t know what I’m talking about when you know damn-well where you have let yourself down. You don’t even offer an apology! What happened to this submissive male you claim to be? You can’t turn it on and off when you like. Domestic discipline is 24/7 boi.”
Being called boi is the ultimate term Mistress uses to put me in my place.
“I’m sorry Mistress.” It was too little, too late.
“You will be. I want a cup of tea. Then you can do the washing up. When you’ve finished that, go and do your work. I don’t want to see you the rest of the evening. I’m watching my favourite TV programme now. We’ll discuss your punishment later.
I expected the cane but after Mistress finished watching TV she felt tired and decided to go to bed. I got another lecture in bed and was told I’d be punished on Monday (today) but that I also had to put my thoughts in writing on how we should progress our DD after Boot Camp.
“We can discuss how we are going to go forward from the weekend before I thrash you tomorrow night,” Mistress said before turning over and going to sleep.
That left me contemplating my pathetic failure.
Most of the weekend had gone better than either of us could have imagined. Mistress had been stricter than I’d ever known and while I’d been punished for every tiny mistake, I thought we were definitely both more focused on each other and were moving forward.
Far from hating her for the harsh treatment, I found myself quite in awe of this woman, wanting to hug and kiss and thank her at every opportunity. I felt we were really close and perhaps there was something in what she said about me being vulnerable. Maybe those were the feelings I was having and, that need to cling to her for reassurance, was actually an expression of love flooding out. In the same way vulnerability made Mistress want to care for me?
But once again, I’d failed just when I should have embraced the situation. And the more I lie there thinking about, the more I hated myself.
Mistress was right of course, I should have pitched in to help with tea but after a long weekend, I’d lapsed into my old self. At that moment I felt like a wretched child who knows he’s not only broken the rules, but let himself down badly.
It was a failing but I hope it’s issue that can be resolved. It’s all about attitude and training.