Mistress had ordered me to try and explain why I feel a need to be caned; why I don’t like actually being caned; yet why its important that there’s a level of severity when I’m punished. She instructed me to write an essay to explain everything in detail.
As you know I’m fascinated by the cane and have been since I was a child – but I always had a fear of being on the receiving end because of not knowing how I would take my punishment.
As an adult, and able to explore my fantasies, it was always important to me that the punishment was as realistic as possible – even though I’ve never shaken off that inherent fear of corporal punishment. It’s a strange dichotomy.
I always thought that if an adult is to suffer corporal punishment as a means to correct faults, then for it to be effective that adult had to suffer beyond the limits that he or she could endure comfortably. In other words – I felt a need to suffer fro my sins.
However, while some of my appointments resulted in quite severe punishments, nothing ever felt real until Mistress began to punish me.
I think it works like this because a) I am caned now with love; b) I’m caned for what we think are real faults; c) Theoretically, I have no control over the situation anymore and d) Even though Mistress might not cane as hard as some people I have previously seen, he technique of allowing little time between strokes is far more punishing.
So I set out to answer Mistress’ questions and below is the information I will pass on to her during out discussion.
Why the need for Corporal Punishment?
As I’ve said before, I think it’s a good way of keeping a balance in our relationship and to stop me becoming moody or offish towards you.
Both of us have traits or mannerisms that annoy each other. I don’t know how this affects you, because you seem to put up with me as I am and rarely – if ever - complain.
I’m not going to say what annoys me because in reality it’s all so insignificant that it’s laughable and I’d hate for you to try and change – or worry about anything. However, it seems like if I’m in the wrong mood I get more and more annoyed with certain things that you do or say – or, in some cases, don’t do. These mood changes can happen in a matter of seconds or build up over days but there’s no rhyme nor reason why things suddenly go this way.
I’ve theorised that it could coincide with a time when I begin to feel a need for the cane and there’s something in me that uses your traits as an excuse to behave badly – but I don’t think that’s true.
What’s interesting though is that I am generally in one of these moods when you decide to cane me. Perhaps you detect these mood swings and decide to act up on them? Or maybe my mood swing just annoys you to the point where you feel a need to cane me?
Why a need for ‘severity’?
What happens after I’ve been caned properly (hard) is that I feel like I’ve been cleansed. It’s like having a weight lifted off my shoulders and I feel euphoric. Things like your traits I’ve mentioned that annoy, just wash over me and are no longer an issue. This feeling might only last a day but it may last weeks – especially if the threat of further punishment is always there, and occasionally acted upon.
The severity of the punishment is absolutely critical to the process though. If I’m not punished to a level I know you are capable of and expect to suffer from you, I end up frustrated. Instead of cleansing my mood, it amplifies it so the tension between us is increased.
Why do I dread being caned?
Being caned is not a nice experience. It hurts considerably. I do get a sexual arousal thinking about the cane and in the lead up just a few moments before I bend over I might show signs of excitement but the actual caning – if delivered correctly - is very painful and a challenge to take and I get no satisfaction from it. I also get aroused later thinking about it when I’m blogging.
Also, your delivery method of the weekly maintenance canings was quite severe. In the rare times we managed to string along several weeks of punishments, I actually used to dread driving home on Thursdays because I knew it was time for another punishment.
However I viewed that as positive proof that our discipline regime was beginning to work since I would try to keep on my best behaviour to avoid further punishment.
How should we progress?
I think the cane should be used to correct real faults – the serious ones. I think we both need to focus on which issues are serious enough to warrant punishment and deal with those accordingly.
I’d like you to be stricter with me. I know in the past you’ve said that if you were as strict as you really wanted to be, then I’d hate it. I think that might be the case short term but if we had an overall stricter approach we could both grow into it. My worst failings are my attitude, expenditure and masturbation. If we could focus on them it would help.
I’m aware I turn off discipline when I have work issues to worry about but I need your help to keep me in line. Please don’t let me get away with this in future. Our discipline regime will work only if you are stricter with me.
And that also means being caned when I’m not ‘in the mood’ to be caned. There’s no easy way to ensure this happens – only by insistence from you.
Using the cane effectively
I think the punishments need to be more severe. I don’t mean in terms of how hard you apply the cane. You are very effective. The issue is that you stop every six or 12 strokes and let me regain composure. When we started maintenance you used to give me 36 hard strokes without stopping and it was pure hell – but very effective as a punishment. So I think any punishment should be delivered as a set pace (five seconds between strokes is the average – 10s would be maximum, 3s would be sheer hell if you really want me to suffer) with no deviation. And proper punishment should be no less than 36 strokes because I can just about survive 24 however delivered. That extra 12 or even more is when it becomes real punishment.
I will make a lot of noise because I’m a wimp. I even do it deliberately sometimes to get that breather. You have to remember that the minute the cane stops, the pain subsides and the punishing effect is over.
If I make too much noise we do have a gag. I know you don’t like using it but if it means you can deal out an uninterrupted punishment then it makes sense to use it.
Don’t be afraid of marking my bottom. If you cane properly it’s likely you’ll draw blood with as many as 36-50-100 strokes – but it’s only grazing and will heal. Last night put you off - I could tell. If you do cut me, you’ll see the difference and that’s when to stop! If you paddle hard – in a way to punish - the bottom will turn black and blue too.
I can see now that maintenance was too contrived. I do however think that there is a need at present to pursue some kind of ‘boot camp’ period to reinforce our discipline regime. Both of us would have to show more commitment at all times. We might find that if this works well, we could keep it in place.
Making me sleep in pvc pyjamas was an inspired idea. I love wearing pvc but on my terms. This wasn’t comfortable but very effective way of reminding me who is boss! I wouldn’t rule it out for future use. Making me stand out of the queue in the middle of the shop in Southwold when I was wearing my rubber raincoat had a humbling effect too. You asked me to come up with a list of alternative punishments. I’ve complied that list.
What can I do for you?
This has been all about what I want. But I want it so our relationship is stronger. But what are you looking for from the discipline side of our relationship? And what do you expect of me? I’m sure there is a lot to discuss.
Other DD relationships
My research into other DD relationships and how other dominant Ladies use corporal punishment to keep their men in line is on-going and will feature in my next blog post.