Sunday, 27 October 2013

Testing times in our FLR


It didn’t take long for Mistress to put our new regime to the test.

On Friday, Mistress and I were out shopping when I veered towards my favourite book shop. Mistress stopped in the middle of the precinct, waiting until I realized I was alone – and I sheepishly walked back to her. The stern look on her face painted a picture for everyone to see.

“And what happened to this submissive male who follows his Mistresses lead? What gave you the idea you can just waltz off when you feel like it?”

Mistress did not seem to care we were in the middle of a very crowded shopping area.

“I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry what?”

Mistress knew I was trying to avoid saying ‘Mistress’ in the middle of the street.

“Sorry Mistress.”

“I should think so. It’s not a good start is it? We’ve only been out of the house five minutes and you are forgetting your place. We will have to deal with this later. Now walk behind me and remember your place.”

I felt my self colouring up. With my embarrassment came a really awkward grin. I imagined everyone in the street watching me reduced to size. I kept trying to laugh it off. Mistress on the other hand kept a straight, stern face, no doubt enjoying see me squirm.

I was on my absolute best behaviour after that. But it all went wrong when we were back home.
I could blame it on my nervous state, knowing I was already in trouble, but it’s just the way I am and I knew there was trouble brewing when Mistress called. “Come down here boi.”

I half expected to told to go back and fetch the cane so Mistress could correct the earlier black mark. But maybe not.

She stood in the kitchen, hands behind her back.

“You already have a black mark. Well here’s another one.”

She held out a bottle of milk and a tub of yoghurt.

I wasn’t sure what she meant. “Mistress?”

“You didn’t put the shopping away.”

“Oh Jesus, I mean sorry Mistress.”

“Oh you will be, don’t worry.”

Mistress went off to make some calls to make. I had tea to cook. So nothing more was said. But I know this is not the last of the matter.

That was Friday.

Saturday I got a few whacks with the cane and then more with the lightweight tawse for not responding to her orders to fix breakfast quick enough. No bench, no preparation. I had to lie face down on the bed and take the instant corrective measures.

The punishment didn’t take into account Friday’s lapses.

“I hope you are keeping a record of all your faults. When I feel ready, we’ll correct those issues properly,” I was told.

We went out to lunch and I don’t know if Mistress was deliberately trying to wind me up to see if I’d crack – but she succeeded. In the small cafe we sat downstairs.  But Mistress complained it wasn’t light enough and insisted I go find a table upstairs.  We took our drinks upstairs and once we’d settled, Mistress insisted we swapped seats so she could look out of the window. Then when the food arrived she insisted she had my coleslaw and I had her lettuce leaves. At which point I  breathed, loudly through my nose.

“Stop what you are doing."

Our eyes met.

"Do I detect some resentment in your attitude?”

“No Mistress.”

“Oh, I think I do. You had best remember your place.”

Nothing more was said.

It’s now Sunday morning, Mistress has gone out to spend time with one of her girlfriends and left me at home to do some chores, although she has allowed me some free time to do things of my own choice.
But as she went to leave, Mistress said: “I will be back late afternoon. All the chores had better be done by then because we have a lot to sort out.”

I didn’t dare question what she has in mind but it all sounds ominous.

According to Mistresses new regime, I'm keeping notes of my 'misdemeanours'. The idea actually came from Lady Grey's term of 'self-reporting' - which I had told Mistress about. I'm sure Mistress has plenty of reasons to correct me but I think it's important that I pick up on my own failures otherwise I'll not learn by from them. 

My worry is that I've already listed six major faults and we're only really three days into this new regime. It shows how remiss (and pathetic) I really am as a sub.

As you can imagine, with Mistress really on the ball and me being picked up on every small detail,  there is a real tension in the air at the moment, which I think is a good thing. I’m not the best-behaved sub, and my bad points seemed to be highlighted as Mistress embraces her authoritarian role with ever-increasing enthusiasm.

It’s tense, but I think Mistress is enjoying her, dare I say, new-found role. I’m enjoying her taking a more lead role and am happy to take her instruction. I feel we are very aware of each other at the moment.

People talk about partners taking each other for granted but with a female led relationship that’s currently this intense, I don’t see how that’s possible. Mistress has referred to these few days (weeks hopefully) as a ‘training period’ so perhaps when she’s happy enough with my level of compliance things will find a more relaxed level.

It may be surprising to some readers, but that’s not my wish. I’m finding it hard to maintain submission 24/7 but strangley, I prefer this intensity over casual mediocrity.  

4 comments:

  1. During your training period Mistress is deciding what is important to Her and exactly how you should behave in each situation. you are being trained and learning how to be complient. i think your speed and ability to "learn and become totally complient" will drive your ability to "relax". However, i suggest you disabuse yourself of the concept of "relax". you need to remain attentive, complient, supportive, and totally submissive at all times. Therefore, you must always be alert and attentive to Mistress's needs, moods, and desires. you must anticpate, adapt, and behave properly at all times. When you have learned, then yes you will have fun, pleasant, and extremely enjoyable times together. you will talk, laugh, enjoy social events, and have fun shopping. From experience, i suggest you learn quickly.

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  2. I empathize. It's so hard, even when you know it's what's best. I found I had to unlearn so many things that society drilled into me, then I had to re-learn new habits. Best of luck in your new role!

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  3. I'm glad your wife is bringing your training regime into so many parts of your life so quickly, and happy to hear your appreciation, even of the discomfort it's bringing. You mused:

    "Mistress has referred to these few days (weeks hopefully) as a ‘training period’ so perhaps when she’s happy enough with my level of compliance things will find a more relaxed level,"

    and I'll be very interested to see how that plays out--how much of her vision and enjoyment is based on a more compliant subby, vs. how much is the enjoyment of keeping you on your toes, making you stretch out of your comfort zone? A non-relaxed you may be pretty enticing ;-)
    As far as your self-reporting goes, are you listing only actual behavioral mistakes/shortcomings, or are you also putting in any mental/emotional moments of sullenness, resentment, exasperation, whatever, even if they didn't have any outward manifestation? That's actually a difference between me and my wonderful wife, she only wants to know about actual misbehavior (and since thoughts follow behavior and attitude follows thoughts, that's probably the most efficient way for us). Good luck!

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