Monday, 28 October 2013

Other's views of our DD

The benefits of sharing thoughts through an FLR blog are that you receive comments that help you put another slant on your thinking and help broaden your own views.

A good example of this was the response to my recent blog post regarding the current ‘training period’ Mistress has instigated.

As I noted, Mistress has done away with maintenance punishment in favour of using corporal punishment to discipline me, as and when she sees fit.

She obviously decides when disciplinary methods are required but there is also an onus on me to self-report any of my failings that I know warrant her attention.

I took this to mean obvious shortcomings but WhMs made an excellent observation, asking whether this self-reporting should include failing in my inner thoughts too.

WhMs’ comment actually read: “Are you also putting in any mental/emotional moments of sullenness, resentment, exasperation, whatever, even if they didn't have any outward manifestation?”

I’d not thought of this but it’s a very good point and one that I would agree is very pertinent to our DD regime. Considering this, yes, my thoughts should be of matter for Mistress’ consideration.

It’s one thing to say ‘Yes Mistress’ and accept her direction – but it’s another if inside there is some adverse emotion. I think in most case I am quite transparent – Mistress knows if I m rebelling against her authority – but I will admit that there are times when I’m in another room and inwardly rebel, take a deep breath and then go to Mistress perfectly compliant. 

I also wondered in my last post how things might be once Mistress is more satisfied by my level of compliance within this revised regime.

The view of WhMs is: “I'll be very interested to see how that plays out - how much of her vision and enjoyment is based on a more compliant subby vs. how much is the enjoyment of keeping you on your toes, making you stretch out of your comfort zone? A non-relaxed you may be pretty enticing.”

I think WhMs is right on this point too and I’m sure Mistress would prefer an always attentive subby. It’s a daunting prospect of no let up in our domestic discipline but I’m sure WhMs is 1000% right and that’s how it should be.

dualpurpose27 had a similar thought to WhMs and said: “During your training period Mistress is deciding what is important to Her and exactly how you should behave in each situation. You are being trained and learning how to be compliant.

“I think your speed and ability to ‘learn and become totally compliant’ will drive your ability to ‘relax’. However, I suggest you disabuse yourself of the concept of ‘relax’. You need to remain attentive, compliant, supportive, and totally submissive at all times.

“Therefore, you must always be alert and attentive to Mistress's needs, moods, and desires. You must anticipate, adapt, and behave properly at all times. When you have learned, then yes, you will have fun, pleasant, and extremely enjoyable times together. You will talk, laugh, enjoy social events, and have fun shopping. From experience, I suggest you learn quickly.”

Again, such eloquent thoughts. The pertinent point is, as dualpurpose27 says, remaining alert, being more aware of Mistress and her needs, which is the one area I’ve been negligent in the past and where I really need to focus.

It’s also why Mistress and I both agreed that a DD lifestyle would be an ideal way to keep our relationship on track and fresh.


  1. Thank you for understanding my comments and including them in your post. Mistress Barbara was thrilled. Thank you.

  2. I too appreciate the thoughts and insights of others. Growing up in a traditional household and having non-FLRs for the first 25 years of my adult life can make this dream-come-true seem just that sometimes--a dream! Hearing from others helps ground me and remind me it's real, the thoughts and feelings of my wonderful Wife are real, and the costs to her & penalties to me for my shortcomings are real.

    Have you asked your Mistress whether *she* wishes you to include negative thoughts in your self-reporting? That's the ultimate "should" for you and me--like you, I would have thought my thoughts "should" be brought out and dealt with, but since my Wife said not to, I was clearly wrong. At least the question of whether your Mistress will become satisfied with your performance, or will she continue always to raise expectations so that you keep falling short and needing correction, is out of your hands!

    I'm glad we can contribute to each other's efforts to serve. Thanks!

  3. Up to this point, your Mistress's form of correction has been the cane, By instituting a "training period" she now introduces a second form of correction in the form of a sort of unrest on your part. It is now your resposibility to report your own failings. How nice for her. Keeping you on your toes, placing uncertainty in your thought processes, making you carefully consider the possible ramifications of your every act, both physical and mental. It's quite different than the pain of the cane, but very effective in controlling you and assuring your attention to all of your Mistress's wishes.

    It will be interesting to watch you physically and mentally scamper around to please your Mistress. You might find that the mental part is more debilitating than the physical, as the mental part never rests. Stripes from a cane eventually fade, but if a Mistress controls your mind...well, there is no escape is there? That's the essence of being dominated by your Mistress. Physical and mental, the combination is the secret of real control. In my opinion, a sub needs both, and I spend a lot of effort in achieving this situation in my own relationship - as my husband would attest. And, I might add, he is not unhappy about this at all. Quite the contrary, as he is in a state of arousal nearly all the time just thinking about that control, which, of course, makes me happy as well. I'd hope it will eventually be the same for you and your Mistress.

  4. dualpurpose
    Thanks for your comments

    I spent many years in a non-FLR relationship. It’s good that we’ve both found what we are looking for. Yes, I did include negative thoughts in my self-reporting book. But as you might have seen from my latest update, things have been very quiet in our DD regime.

    Lady Grey
    For a brief period the self-reporting regime worked very well and I appreciate views that it did indeed keep me on my toes. I can see who your husband is so deeply affected by the mental control and well as the physical control. As you might have seen from my latest update however, we are in one of our doldrum periods and I’ve measured up rather badly.