Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Mistress and her ‘Boi’

Mistress and I had a couple of days away at the weekend. No phones. No outside pressures. Just us two - and Loopy Johnny.

It’s an effective little whip that has quite a sting too it but makes very little noise. It’s ideal for hotel rooms. I got three doses, two in the evening and one first thing I the morning after not jumping out of bed quickly enough to make Mistress her cup of tea.

A couple of dozen hard and fast swipes each time had me wriggling around but it’s nothing like the cane.

We also touched on DD discussions several times during the course of our weekend, Mistress quite annoyed by the fact I wasn’t picking up on her authoritarian attitude at one stage.

I was driving and failed to pick up on throwaway comment that, ‘I’d like to stop there,’ as we passed a tearoom.

I carried on driving and nothing was said for several miles. In fact Mistress finally broke the ice a good 15-20 minutes later when she suddenly said, “why are you so stroppy this morning? You do seem to be paying me any attention at all.”

It was quite obvious that Mistress was quite annoyed with me. I asked what was wrong and Mistress said she was fed up with me not acting on her wishes.

It was only then I realised then that I’d failed to read the message, ‘I’d like’, actually meant ‘I want’ and that had created the tension.

I feel that if we lived the DD lifestyle 24/7 there would never be an issue with my submission but we dip in an out so sometimes I find it difficult to read situations. Okay, I accept I’m probably a bit stupid on this count, but there have been many times in the past when Mistress has seemed to suddenly be in a mood with me and I’ve never been quite sure why.

Don’t get me wrong. I quite like it when Mistress adopts a position of power. But sometime I just find the messages confusing – especially if she comes in a room with a face like thunder without any discussion to back up her demeanor.

I know I should just go with it – after all it’s my place to do so but I know I still need a lot of training.
It’s something I’ve wanted to broach for some time but never found the right moment – but now this seemed the opportunity.

“Mistress, we both know where we are when I refer to you as ‘Mistress’. Do you think it would help if you referred to me by another name in future when we are immersed in our DD lifestyle?

“You sometimes call me Boi, when you are correcting me. Would it help if you always called me Boi in future where DD maters were concerned? That way I would understand the situation quicker.”

Mistress stared at me for a while. Then she said: “I would have thought by now that you would be able to understand exactly what is expected of you. But if you wish to be called Boi, then so be it.”

“Thank you Mistress.”

“But I’m not happy with you. I expect you to comply with my wishes at all times Boi. That little whip is okay for the hotel but I think we’ve some far more serious sorting out to do when we get home. Don’t you?

“Yes Mistress.”

“What do you say?”

Thank you Mistress.”

I expected correction last night but nothing happened. Though I was summons to bed, with, “It’s time for bed Boi.” 

It was a summons I jumped to.

Sunday, 15 September 2013

Severity caning

With Mistress away for a girlie weekend, I took the opportunity last night to indulge in an evening of catching up on my favourite blogs and watching some CP clips and came across several involving Madame Catarina (domina-movies.com).

To my mind, these are a lot more BDSM than straightforward discipline but the severity of this stunning-looking Lady is captivating so I stuck with it – all in the name of research!

The first began with a male sub bound in a standing position to a punishment triangle (http://femdom-fetish-tube.com/video/17323/madame-catarina.html)

He suffers an incredible thrashing, which starts with a thick, but horribly flexible cane. Madame then switches to a fearsome-looking, long tapered cane with a really whippy end to it.  Where does she obtain these wonderful canes?

I lose count how many strokes she inflicts but they are all full force – many applied with a very unusual style of following through the stroke in a slicing action. I cannot comprehend how painful it must have been on the receiving end.

Throughout it all, the hapless male writhes in agony but somehow keeps some kind of self control that is admirable under such circumstances

I ask myself many times through his punishment session whether I could put myself through such torment. In my fantasy world of course I’d love to experience it but realise I’d create such a fuss under such terrible torment and end up begging for it to stop.

It seems like no matter what she throws at her sub, he does his best to soak it up, although it’s patently obvious how much she’s hurting him and his bottom is a bloody mess by the time she’s finished.

The second clip (http://femdom-fetish-tube.com/video/3669/catarina.html) looks far more to my taste with the scene opening with the sub being strapped down to a caning bench.

But while Madame doesn’t put anything like the same force into the strokes, the poor male quickly starts whimpering and crying out.

The casual voyeur might think him a wimp for breaking down so early, but I empathise with him because I realize that this pitiful behavior is me when I’m caned by Mistress.

The difference is I get a mere 36 strokes and this poor sub is getting what seems like hundreds! And this Madame canes his thighs, calves and feet. Plus, as the 42 minute clip unfolds, the strokes get harder and harder, to the point where his trying to crawl off the bench in despair. His sobs and rapid breathing testify to the severity of the punishment and his suffering.

I wonder if one reaches a point during a punishment like this where the suffering level just flat lines? Like the poor sub in the second clip, I begin to start really struggling with the level of pain after six strokes. Each subsequent stroke seems to hurt as badly from that point. There is no respite. But if, for example, Mistress continued to cane me would the pain be any worse after say 72 strokes than 36? Or is the level of suffering simply prolonged?

One thing I’ve never subscribed to, and these two clips prove, is that the bottom becomes numb after a certain number of strokes. I always feel every stingy stroke. Maybe it’s different with a more bruising paddle or hairbrush? Or maybe it is indeed a myth?

I know there clips are made with a professional Dominatrix and the subs are well trained but what I found most interesting was how the two responded so differently to their respective punishments.

I’ve seen clips where the subs take severe beatings from the hardest caners (in the world of professional disciplinarians) without a sound and then jump off the bench with a big happy grin.  Each to their own but I’ve always thought of corporal punishment as a corrective process and therefore there has to be some suffering for it to be effective.

Again, I realize these clips are made by professionals, purely for money, and not the kind of  real disciplinary punishments that we might experience in our DD regimes.  But they look like real canings, just the same. Only the midset of the payers is different perhaps? Or not?

Within our DD regime, I’d like to take the cane stoically, in a way that befits my ‘manhood’  but the fact is, by the time Mistress has punished me, I’ve made far too much noise, my face is tear-stained, my breathing is all over the place and I’m sweating profusely.

I’m not proud of the state I get in – and I find it very humbling for Mistress to see me this way - but at least there’s always the resolve to try harder to maintain some self-control next time.

There’s also a resolve at that moment to try much harder to please Mistress in future, because at that moment the last thing you ever want to do is experience that kind of beating again. But isn’t that what makes caning such an effective corrective measure?

Of course, time is a great healer and the problem with us males is that very soon your resolve fades and we find yourself over stepping the mark once more. And then, of course, the whole painful experience starts again.


Friday, 13 September 2013

Mistress issues a warning

Two (or is it now three?) weeks since my reintroduction to the cane and I’ve not received any kind of corporal punishment  since.

I'd like to think I've turned a corner in my attitude and behaviour but sadly that’s not the case.

However,  there is a good reason for the lack of any follow-up maintenance punishments. I hurt my back doing the gardening so I’ve been having treatment from the physio rather than Mistress.

But there’s plenty happening. Mistress has been constantly reminding me that this time, the lack of corporal punishment is only temporary and that as soon as I’m able to touch toes again, I’ll be over the bench.

Several times she’s hinted as much but tonight she laid the cards on the table with the kind of authority that makes me shudder with excitement – and fear.

“I thought you might try a little harder to please me in little ways since you are excused the major chores but you can’t even do that,” she said with a very strong hint of sarcasm, when she came home and realized her tea wasn’t quite ready.

“You had better get yourself in the right frame of mind for when you are better because we’re going to go about things in the very different way. You’re going to think more about me and less about you. And I’m no longer standing for any nonsense from you. Do you understand boy?”

She raised her voice for that last sentence and paused briefly before delivering the final word.

“Yes Mistress.”

She’s never called me boy like that before. Especially with such emphasis on the word. Mistress often uses the term with affection, or in a joking manner, especially when her mother is around. But she’s never looked me in the eye and talked down to me, like I was, well I might as well say it - a naughty boy.

It added a real poignancy to the lecture and stopped me in my tracks.

My usual, ‘Yes Mistress,’ responses feel forced, like playing games but on this occasion I found myself dropping my head to avert direct eye contact , and mumbling ‘Yes Mistress’ with a degree of submission I’ve never previously put into such responses.

I might be overstating the case, and reading too much into it as us submissives tend to, but I’ve got a feeling that this might have been a very significant moment in our FLR.