Saturday, 6 April 2013

Feeling guilty


It feels like a lifetime since I last updated the blog. And I feel I must apologise to everyone for not even taking the trouble just to write a few lines explaining why.

The main reason I’m doing it now is because I’m feeling guilty after receiving a private message on Fet Life from a Lady asking why I had not blogged.

The message was simple: ‘gary.........why has your blog not
been updated for so long ??’

The tone was difficult to understand from that short note, but I fantasised the Lady was rather annoyed that I’d not fulfilled my duty of keeping the blog up to date. I do look on it as a duty – to record the ups and downs of our DD regime.

I am of course guilty as charged but I’m sure that the Lady in question was simply asking out of genuine interest.

I replied to the Lady immediately, first to apologise for not updating the blog and then to explain that Mistress and I have both undergone significant changes in our working lives and have been so busy recently that it’s feeling like our private lives have been put on hold until things settle down. That, plus winter ailments and a bad back have provided plenty of excuses not to keep up the strict regime we had going.

There’s no question that discipline has slipped in our home but thanks to the strict regime we had, things have been ticking over with my in my place as it were, and neither of us have been too concerned that, with a little time to ourselves, we can reinstate the DD lifestyle that suits us both so well.

I’ve spent very little time on the home computer recently. I’ve occasionally checked what others of you have been blogging and I’ve kept in touch with a few on Fet Life but I’ve just not had the time – or inclination to think too much about DD – and neither has Mistress.

However, it’s rather ironic the Lady’s note triggered something in me to give some thought to our DD regime, because for the past two days now, Mistress has made comments about my behavior. The kind of comments that suggest to me that she’s finally got some free time to think about how our disciplined lifestyle has taken a turn.

When I left the washing up yesterday, she pointed out how slack I’ve become in my chores. This morning I found myself corrected verbally for my excessive bad language. And this evening, after a trivial argument, Mistress said that, “you seem to becoming more and more disrespectful towards me.”
I pointed out that Mistress holds the key – but she quickly retorted that she can always find time to keep me in check. It is me who comes up with reasons not to.

The one thing that suggested to me we’ll soon be back on track is that Mistress came back from a shopping trip with one of her girlie friends this afternoon saying that she’d seen the perfect bench for our kitchen. “You could lie face down, full length on it,” she said with a glint in her eye.”
Typically, I changed the subject.

You see, the thought of the cane scares me. We’ve been here before haven’t we? It’s like I need that regular discipline routine to help with my mindset. I know how I should behave, and I know I should always behave in the correct manner, but those weekly maintenance canings help maintain the focus. And when I’m in that mindset no amount of corrective discipline seems to unsettle me and Mistress seems to relish the situation.

Being caned is not nice, but it’s acceptable and, as I’ve said so many times, it helps with the bond between me and Mistress.

It’s getting on for three months now since I’ve been ordered to go and get changed for punishment and the thought of bending over for 36 strokes of that thin Dragon cane really in daunting but I’ve a feeling that I’ll have more positive  things to discuss in this blog in the coming few weeks.   


2 comments:

  1. It is time to get on with it and take that caning. The bench sounds like just the stimulus needed and you should acquire it.

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  2. Good to see you back, I've been missing your blog. Hope the winter ailments and bad back are better now.

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