Monday, 19 November 2012

Maintenance punishment as a deterrent

After yesterday’s blog post, Downlow commented: “I understand everything you said, but what I don't understand is the weekly maintenance thrashing. It seems that your good behavior can not keep you from getting thrashed. If you are going to get thrashed whether you are good or bad, then how is it a deterrent?”

It’s a good question Downlow and probably not easy to understand if you are not in a DD relationship like ours. Instead of quick answer I tried to collect my thoughts in more detail to answer the question.

Firstly, when we began this journey, we found that Mistress – who was totally new to the concept of adult CP let alone DD -  was never quite sure how to handle certain situations that required correction. I was not an easy submissive to deal with, in that, even though I was the one who initial drove this regime, I’d try to squirm out of punishment – at times when I knew I had done wrong and needed the discipline. That put Mistress in a difficult position of trying to enforce our rules against my will. Effectively I was undermining her authority from the outset.

We had adopted quite a strict code to live by, which meant that my faults were many – some not so serious, while others were very serious but in our ‘normal lifestyle we’re both very busy people and it was always difficult to correct my faults on the spot. Trying to tot them up for a weekly correction session proved impossible.

Allied to this, Mistress knew about my interest in CP virtually since we got together and quickly identified a ‘need’ within me to be punished. She noticed how my moods changed from being very loving, respectful and yes, submissive, for several days after punishment. But also how that changed as time progressed from the punishment session.

It was only when we discussed this in detail that I realized the periods of tension I caused in the house tied in with me not being so attentive – and with the times when I started to feel the ‘need’ to receive the cane again.

I wasn’t consciously ‘bratting’ but my actions were akin to it (playing up to initiate a caning!). I had never tied these actions together and simply thought that my urge for the cane was simply due to subliminal triggers – such as helping Mistress out of her knee boots (she insists I pull her boots off when she comes home) or Mistress giving me her orders etc.

So to overcome our issues of not being able to punish when required, and the tension the lack of regular CP was causing, we decided to adopt a method of routine maintenance punishment. And the reason we’ve decided that it would be quite severe is that it takes into account any faults I’ve had in the previous week – plus, as I’ve said before, any adult corporal punishment for real faults has to be painful otherwise it has no effect.

We don’t keep note of my faults, though we tried for a while,  but before punishment Mistress reminds me of any major issues before she canes me – or asks me to relate to her why I need the cane. The important thing to understand, is that no matter how hard I try, I have faults, and being totally honest, I don’t see that changing.

What was it the Disciplinary Wives Club survey aid about all men being little boys at heart I need of a good spanking?

Our maintenance punishments act as a deterrent is, because they are quite severe punihsments (by our standards of course – to some it’s a fleabite, to others it’s a serious whipping) so it’s something that’s always on my mind.

However, when I do step out of line, Mistress doesn’t miss an opportunity to remind that Thursday is not far away.

If  there is anything that really annoys her during the week, she does have the option to punish me on the spot. Just this morning I earned a swift dozen strokes with a thick kooboo cane, laying face down on the bed.

When we awoke, Mistress reminded me of my back talk just before we went to bed. I was way out of line but it was too late to punish me there and then, but Mistress wasn’t about to let me off the hook and instead caned me this morning before we had got out of bed!

To be honest, I was glad she did. I was totally out of line and my rudeness was unnecessary, unacceptable, never mind very disrespectful. If she hadn’t decided to cane me, I’d have probably asked her to because I felt so bad about the situation.

In truth, I don’t think the matter has been fully dealt with and I suspect I might pay extra during Thursday’s maintenance. And I would gladly accept what ever is coming.

To sum up, our maintenance punishment sessions serve as a reminder that I should remember my place and be respectful at all time.

As a minimum 36 strokes, it’s a challenge to take, but in the back of my mind I’m only too aware that Mistress has the sanction to deal with me with far more severity if she sees fit. I think that fact alone means that a routine maintenance punishment has great value as a deterrent.


  1. I knew a girl who received a weekly caning from her mistress even though she rarely misbehaved. She was *very* obedient and eager to please. But she said it was the weekly caning that kept her well-behaved. I think that a regular spanking is much better than acting out to get attention.

    1. I agree with your sentiment about regular punishment being better than 'bratting.' I think it works if you know that just because you get a regular maintenance session, it doesn't mean the any further punishment during the week is rule out.

  2. To some it might seem puzzling but your post does show how for you a maintenance punishment rebuilds your attentiveness to your mistress. A commitment to the lifestyle requires nothing less. A severe punishment will also remind you how more painful it will be if you go too far out of line.

    1. Yes dave, it really helps maintain my focus.

  3. Punishment is also a way for your partner to let off steam: get rid of resentment, anger, and stress that have built up over a few days. That way she can feel that you two are starting off with a clean slate, all debts paid, all bad feelings dispersed.

    1. MsNaydi, that's a very pertinent point. And it's not just the resentment, anger and stress in the home itself. I've noticed how Mistress is increasingly enthusiastic about using the cane if she has had a difficult day at work. She rarely punishes me for the sake of it (though she has a couple of times in the past) but when she is stressed my failings seem to be amplified and earn me a swift corrective session maybe a little more than normal. But I still accept that I'm the one at fault because I should spot these signs and do more to help Mistress relax after a difficult day. Living in an FLR and using DD brings a really interesting dynamic to a relationship. And both Mistress and I fully agree with your observation that corporal punishment for real faults does wipe the slate clean and leave both of us de-stresed and happy.