Sunday, 19 February 2012

Can caning be fun?

There’s an interesting thread on British Caning Society forum which asks the question, ‘is caning meant to be fun?’

It’s an interesting question, and while I'm sure it can be for some, in fact many, I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my entire life when I actually wanted caning to be fun.

I’ve always wanted to experience punishment – full-blooded strokes - and that goes back to my schooldays when I feared the cane – and was lucky (unlucky?) to escape it.

I used to spend hours wondering what the experience would be like – not just pain of the punishment itself but the whole episode when you realise that you are going to be caned and the hanging around outside the head’s office waiting for the appointment, to the after effects and public humiliation of everyone knowing that you had been caned.

I still have thoughts about coproal punihsment on a daily basis, even though I’m punished fairly regularly but I always spend time like now, contemplating just how severe my next beating will be. And I can’t deny I derive (and always have derived) intense sexual pleasure from those thoughts. But with the way our DD has developed, I also get very nervous now as another appointment with the cane approaches because I know just how hard Mistress has learned to cane.

I know, for example that Mistress and I have been unable to carry out our past two weekly maintenance session. Theoretically that’s 72 strokes owning. Then there’s one particular day that I misbehaved and was told in no uncertain manner that Mistress would deal with my faults very severely.

So I’m pretty certain that later this evening I’m going to suffer quite considerably. It won’t be fun but on the one hand I’m looking forward to Mistress correcting me. I’m overdue punishment and I’m starting to fee that ‘need’.

On the other I scared just how far she will go. 36 strokes is pretty awful but two lots plus extras is not nice and if Mistress is in the mood for beating me, then I will suffer. On the other hand she may be in one of her lenient moods and then possibly, I’ve worried for no reason.

I suppose the flip side to question is whether Mistress thinks caning can be fun. She takes her responsibilities very, very serious - but does derive pleasure from it too. I asked Mistress for her views and she said, "I don't think it's fun - though sometimes you make me want to laugh when you're wriggling around making such a fuss when I've barely touched you.

"I think our punishment sessions are quite serious affairs becasue we use them to maintain a form balance in the house and any real issues are dealt with quickly.

"I enjoy punishing you because it's something you need in your life. You've always needed it so I hope this fills the void in your life you had before we met.

"But you also deserve punishment because it reminds you that you have to have respect at all times and it's a good method of keeping you on track. When we go too long without it, you start to get very slack in your attitude at home. So when I cane, and cane you hard, and you start moaning I know the message is getting through. And for several days aftwerwards I can see a change in you."

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Intensity of a DD lifestyle

‘There is always Sunday,’ I said in my last blog post, suggesting that I felt Mistress’ weekend of keeping me under close scrutiny and punishing me for everything last fault that annoyed her wasn’t over. I wasn’t wrong because I got another dose of the cane that evening for flippancy. Another 36 strokes. And even though Mistress was in a more lenient mode, it still stung on top of my rather angry looking collections of welts and bruises.

Ken, who pens the excellent blog commented on my post that he is amazed how intense the relationship Mistress and I have.

It’s true that we do have some days where things are very intense. But other times there can be days of no mention of our DD regime, although the Mistress tags is rarely dropped in the house these days and I keep on top of me chores the best I can.

This weekend was typical of the intensity of our DD relationship though where, as I’ve said, I’m under close scrutiny and suffer for virtually every small fault – as well as the major ones.

It’s weekends like that which help bring our flr back into focus an I have to say that  it’s a source of intense satisfaction I feel living days like that. I’m not sure my bottom could survive more than a long weekend of that kind of treatment but I really do relish the times when Mistress adopts an authoritarian air. It’s difficult to explain why I get such a buzz from bossed around, checked-up on and then beaten when things aren’t to Mistress’ satisfaction.

But I really admire the effort she puts into the DD side of things now. It’s not an easy lifestyle, in fact its downright challenging but it really adds a spark to our time together at home. And, like Ken said, it can become very intense.

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Close to tears again

Tonight’s punishment felt special. Special because Mistress was really laying on the cane as hard as she could. My initial 36 strokes left me close to tears once more. This has suddenly become the norm – my nearly crying during a punishment - and I wonder why.

I used to be able to take the 36, maybe with some moans, but now I’m on the verge of crying each time.
Mistress sat in the chair beside the bench and I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed after the 36 were delivered. So often lately I’m been close to being tipped over the edge of what I can take. I need to know what’s on the other side.

Mistress sat tapping the cane against her leg, waiting, I suspect, for my breathing to settle back to some kind of normality. As I lay there face down, breathing hard, I could smell the delightful aroma of the pvc jacket I still had on. I felt a faint stirring in my loins.

I was very aware my bottom was burning. Not the overall heat you associate with a normal intense beating – but the feeling of a series of red-hot wires laid in a hap-hazard fashion on the buttocks. I’ve never quite experience such a similar feeling. But maybe that’s because I’d not been left for a few seconds for the pain to sink in like this.

Then Mistress got to her feet and started again. I wondered how I could take this next onslaught but with 12 strokes done, it was over and I was released from my bonds.

Mistress was annoyed with herself. There was one stroke, still in a ‘safe area’ but separated from the closely packed other 47. She prides herself on accuracy.

“That’s it for the cane. Put it away……And fetch the bath brush.”

I did so with faint heart. As much as the cane cuts with a stinging pain, I hate the thudding thwack of the bath brush. It’s just sting on sting and there’s normally no recovery period.

I had to kneel over the leather footstool and take a good 36 with it. But if felt like nothing after the thin dragon.

I had to kneel before the sofa Mistress was inclined on. “And why are you being punished extra?”
I recited my faults and looked suitably sorry. Mistress interpreted my look as flippancy.

“You want more I presume? Fetch the tawse.”

In days past I would have argued my case. These days I accept exactly what Mistresss commands.
It’s a three-tailed paddle in triple thickness leather - more than a school-type tawse.

I didn’t really want more but this time I had to kneel on the footstool, which made my bottom cheeks really tight

I received two batches of 12. Again, this is normally a stinging punishment. This time it was a fleabite except two that were delivered near the tops of my thighs on fresh flesh. They stung.

I was ordered to kneel before the sofa again.
“Is that enough now?”

She wasn't really asking.
“Yes, thank you Mistress.”
Mistress commanded me to look at her. For several seconds she stared into my eyes. I didn’t move a muscle.
“You had better behave the rest of the evening or you will have to get that cane back out.”
“Yes Mistress. Thank you for punishing me Mistress.”
By now my bottom was sore and swollen and I certainly didn’t want to do anything that might earn me another session with that cane.

Postscript: I thought my punishment was over for this evening but I was summons back to the footstool twice. Mistress was very annoyed by the length of time I’ve taken to write this update and gave me 12 more quick-fire strokes with the tawse for not paying enough attention to Mistress’ demands. And then I got 12 for not thinking to offer to make Mistress another cup of tea. That tawse has never been so effective as those two quick fire applications. Thankfully the cane stayed in the cupboard. But there's always Sunday.

DD pillow talk in the early hours

It’s 2.35am. I know because I’ve just checked the time on my phone. I can’t sleep in this stuffy hotel room.

“What time is it?”

“2.35 Mistress.”

“Why did you wake me up?”

“I didn’t Mistress. I just checked the time.”

“You’re arguing with me. Not good. The light woke me. You’re not doing very well are you? Twice today you were in the wrong place on the elevator. And you let me get separate from you on the metro. Now this. I’m not happy.”

Mistress seems to revel more and more with this authoritarian attitude. I asked her a while back if she was getting fed up with me because I wasn’t sure how to take her now-found role. Was she doing it purely for my benefit or was I just really annoying her?

On the contrary she said, she loved me dearly but if I wanted a DD relationship, then I’d have to expect to be treated in the way I’d told her I wanted to be treated.

I suppose its conversations like that one – and this latest one at 2.35 am which make you realise that you really are living a DD lifestyle.

The rule we’ve had for some time now is to always stand below Mistress on the way down on the elevators, and behind her on the way up. That way Mistress is always able to look down on me. I got caught up in the crowd and was too late getting on the elevator to getting the correct place.

The other thing is that I must always pay attention to Mistress and look out for in the crowds when we’re in the city. We had become separated that evening and some ignorant oaf had bounced into her as he rushed for his train. My fault.

This discussion continued in bed. “It’s always something with you. When are you going to learn? You’ve already got a maintenance punishment this weekend. And now you’ve earned a much more serious beating.”

“Yes Mistress. Thank you Mistress.”

Her air of authority, even in the dead of night, encourages the usual thrill/ fear surges within me and when Mistress clamps her thigh across my lower regions there’s obvious evidences of my state of mind.

“It’s no good getting excited. I’m not happy. You failed to bring the bath brush as I’d instructed. You would have suffered terribly if I’d had that. But you not getting any satisfaction will be punishment enough for now.
We can save the real punishment for when we get home can’t we?”

Why no bath brush? It’s too noisy for hotel room beatings. We both knew that really. I read a ‘loopy johnny’ (wooden handle with thin rubber loops) is the implement for hotel use. It's quiet, but effective, those on forums insist. Anyone with experience of one?

With that, Mistress turned over and drifted back off to sleep. I’m left with an erection I’m not allowed to touch and a heart that’s racing so fast I’ll never sleep.

When the alarm finally goes off at 7.00am I’m feeling exhausted, but there’s still a wave of euphoria of being with such a fantastic woman in such an intoxicating relationship. Wouldn’t swap it for the world.