Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Punishment Sunday

I wasn’t wrong in my assumption that we hadn’t finished with the cane for the weekend.

Sunday was an interesting day. Mistress and I enjoyed a pleasant few hours in the city. Driving there Mistress wanted to discuss our DD regime. Between ducking in and out of shops, she discussion carried on over breakfast, and again over afternoon tea and told me that she still wasn’t happy with my continued ‘negative attitude about everything.’

I had made a comment about one shop we were in which Mistress construed to be negative. I got a lecture there and then about my behaviour and how Mistress felt embarrassed by my negative comments when we were in shops.

She suggested I keep my mouth shut unless I had something positive to say. It was pretty obvious what my fate would be later.

It was a nerve-wracking day, not wanting to step out of line, trying to remember one’s place but that’s what made it so interesting and I could tell Mistress was really relishing the authoritarian attitude she was carrying off rather spectacularly well.

Sure enough as I drove the car into the drive back home she said gleefully, “Oh look, the neighbours are out, we don’t need to worry about the noise, do we?”

As soon as we got inside the door Mistress told me to get myself changed and bring a selection of canes to the punishment room. I was secured over the bench and the caning started. First was the crooked-handled cane and 12 strokes. Normally I can take four before I start to struggle with as the pain builds. With some serious resolve I managed to get to six before starting to moan but boy was she laying it on today compared to the previous day’s session.

Then she picked the short, but thick koboo cane. Normally it’s quite a thuddy, dead feeling but these were hard strokes and stinging like mad.

Then Mistress said, “I’m giving you 12 more, in quick succession. I suggest you prepare yourself. There’s nothing really to do but hang on tight and take the pain. Even though I’m secured I can feel my hips and bottom cheeks dancing around under those rapid strokes. You start by trying to count the strokes but by three you can’t keep up and then it’s a case of hanging on to the end of the dozen. Imagine 24 or 36 like that. Well I can’t really. I’d probably lose control completely.

Suddenly it was all over and Mistress put the tip of the thin Dragon under my nose. There was blood on it. She said: “That’s a shame isn’t it? We’ve broken the skin. Now I’ll have to stop.”

It was only a tiny graze but Mistress doesn’t like to draw blood.

“But I think you’ve learned now that this negative attitude of your really does have to stop. And you had better beware I am going to keep correcting you until you start to have a more positive outlook.”

Saturday, 28 January 2012

Act crabby. Get caned

Over two weeks without punishment didn’t mean I was suddenly the ultimate submissive. And it’s not been the reason for a lack of updates.

Work, followed by illness, followed by more work, put our FLR on the back burner – just when it had really taken off again.

In my moments of weakness, Mistress was a tower of strength, tending to everything in the house that I’ve not been well enough to do. But I’d been a bit crabby and Mistress told me that I’d had better watch my tongue because ill or not, she was making a note of any faults as usual and I would pay for them.

She also pointed out that there would be payback for all the time I’ve been either sat on the couch ‘playing at being too sick to cope with my chores’ or away working, leaving Mistress to fend for herself.

Now I’m back in circulation to start tending to my duties, which in turn I suspected meant a return to a more stricter regime in the house that had become the norm.

I missed my maintenance punishment on Thursday. In fact I’ve missed two Thursday’s now so I was a bit worried that I might be due a double dose.

Over the past couple of days I contemplated the fact that Mistress doting on me would soon cease and I would be back in servitude – which I was looking forward to. And I would soon be re-acquainted with the cane – which I was also looking forward to.

My desire to be caned has actually become quite strong over the past two days. My crabbiness was a display of ungratefulness toward Mistress, so I deserved to suffer for that, but also I had that ‘need’ – you know, when you begin to fantasise about how severe you’d like that next thrashing to be.

I’ve not had that ‘need’ for a while because being punished on a regular basis had effectively dulled any desire for extra beatings. In fact, as you recall, I was working hard to avoid any such extra sessions.

In my fantasy, but also in reality, I was certainly hoping that Mistress would afford no leniency when she did employ the cane again. I’ve thought of that a lot about leniency since my last session with the cane and wrote briefly about it last time. I don’t know what others think but I don’t believe leniency should have a place in a DD relationship because the whole point is that you are punished as a means of correction for faults committed.

I should not have had any concerns. I didn’t have to wait long to be caned.

We were having a quiet wander to the local shops and I made a couple of innocuous but negative comments as we chatted. Mistress suddenly pulled me up sharp and said I’d better change my attitude by the time we got back home.

Inside the shop she again picked up on something negative I said and the minute we got inside the door back home she told me to fetch the cane. I gave a quizzical look but said nothing. Mistress caught my look and said: “I’m fed up with you showing me up in public with your negative attitude.”

Mistress had either picked up my ‘need’ or had a need of her own to satisfy and this trumped-up charge was her excuse to beat me.

I didn’t argue though and was secretly delighted it was Mistress that took the initiative and not me having to ask for a beating. It's excting how much Mistress now controls this side our our lives.

I suffered. It was a normal 36-stroke maintenance-type caning but in batches of 12, 8 and then 16 for some reason. I could tell the strokes weren’t as hard as Mistress is capable of. However maybe it was because I’ve not been caned for a couple of weeks, or maybe because I’m not fully myself, but it stung like blazes.

Mistress insisted she was being 'leninet' but  my bottom was quite well marked with those lovely white stripes, edged in a dark red you get with reasonably hard strokes.

“Did you enjoy that?” Mistress asked.

“Yes, thank you Mistress. Did you?”

“I will if it’s help curbed your negative attitude. It is so tiresome.”

Mistress told me I had better behave myself for the rest of the weekend but to put the cane away “for now.”
She’s gone out to meet up with a friend for a shopping afternoon but judging by her demeanour, I don’t think she’s finished using the cane this weekend. Wishful thinking on my part? Not at all. It’s just that I’ve noticed that the further we travel along this road, the more Mistress engages with her position of authority and the more she enjoys inflicting a good thrashing.

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

When the cane doesn’t hurt enough

Mistresses business trip was cancelled so my maintenance punishment took place as usual on last Thursday evening.

If I’m truthful, Mistress was much more lenient with me than of late and the 36 was easy to take. Part of me was relieved, part was disappointed. I suppose I wanted to recreate that intense feeling of the New Year’s Eve final caning but I know my bottom was still quite bruised and Mistress, despite enjoying the act of punishing me, is always concerned about health issues and probably thought it best to err on the side of leniency this once.

The other point is that there’s some strange cleansing in the severity of a punishment that leaves you feeling that the slate is now clean and you can start afresh. You feel contrite but happy and always more subservient. Granted, it’s perhaps not a feeling that lasts as long as it should but it is massively disappointing when you don’t reach that level. A ‘soft’ punishment is almost worst than no punishment at all because you expect to suffer for your faults and you’re inbuilt safety mechanisms are all in place but hen suddenly they are not needed.

I’m not complaining. If Mistress wished to beat me with a feather, then that would be her choice. I’m merely making an observation and I wonder if any of you submissives reading this have experienced the same kind of feelings?

Having said that, there’s no let-up in the overall tone of our regime. Last Friday night shopping, for example, I was brought sharply to heel after wandering of down one isle while Mistress went along another. When I looked up at the end of the isle there was Mistress beckoning me towards her.

“That’s a black mark,” she said. “You don’t go off doing your own thing, do you? You want to be submissive? Well start acting like one and follow Mistress around the shop, looking at what I wish to look at.”

I replied with a ‘Sorry Mistress’ as low as I could whisper in the hope that no one in the shop was paying attention to Mistresses lecture. I was embarassed but also a little bit excited but the very public lecture. I feared punishment when we got home, at least a dozen from the tawse, but nothing ensued.

It took me back to my schooldays when I was pulled out of a gym lesson for talking and expected the worst (the cane of course - but at least the plimsole) but got off with a lecture. It was like a let-down but also a relief - at the time.

Mistress told me there would be no punishment during the weekend because she had many things to deal with and didn’t want to be sidetracked. I gave a little smile, thinking, that things might ease up a little on the discipline front.

But then Mistress added: “But don’t think you’ll get away with anything. I will make a note of any bad behaviour and correct it later.”

I recall my stomach churned a little at the prospect of a lengthy list of faults to be corrected but I resolved to try and measure up better.

It’s since been a busy working week and relatively quiet on the DD front. As they say on TV traffic reports, so far there have not been any major issues to report – although Mistress may of course see things a different way and be totting up faults ready to rectify them in our next maintenance session.

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Re-acquainted with the tawse

Be careful what you wish for they say.

It was me who asked Mistress to reintroduce our strict flr and Mistress has welcomed the New Year with gusto as far as our domestic discipline regime is concenrned. Not one piece of slack behaviour on my part is being overlooked. As a result my bottom is a bit tender.

It was well marked from the heavy caning on New Year’s Eve so Mistress is using the tawse instead for those immediate punishments – though I’m told the cane will still be used for my maintenance caning.
Monday evening I spent too much time on the computer before checking with Mistress if she had any demands. I got 12 whacks with our heavy leather, three-tailed tawse.

And when I got home from work early today, I was greeted with a stern face and told I’d earned 12 strokes for not responded to Mistresses text. And then earned 12 more for what Mistress said was ‘pulling a face,’ instead of saying, ‘sorry Mistress. Thank you Mistress.’

I need to be more attentive, more submissive and very careful.

I’ve just had the 24 whacks and my bottom is burning.

It’s a long time since I’ve felt the tawse on a regular basis. It’s a strange beast. Initially it feels much more bearable than the cane but after half a dozen whacks the burning stinging pain begins to build.

At least tomorrow’s maintenance has been postponed. Mistress is away on business so my caning will now take place on Saturday. I’ll have to be careful to avoid extras.

Monday, 2 January 2012

Boot camp New Year

We had done all the festive socialising and had the few days away so New Year’s Eve and the following day turned into a very special two-day reinforcement of our flr rules.

We hadn’t planned it as such but it became an intense and very, very strict two-day boot camp.

I might have guessed the severity from the second I lingered too long in bed after being told to get up on New Year’s Eve. I was told to fetch the cane and got a good 12 cuts, face down on the bed.

Over breakfast Mistress told me that for the next two days I would be serving her and that I should be suitably attired in a ‘maid’s outfit’. She also said she wanted to discuss how to progress our regime.

Mistress instructed me to come up with a schedule for the evening, bearing in mind there were several issues outstanding. New Year’s Eve was already allocated at a maintenance punishment day – so that was 36 strokes of the thin Dragon from the outset. Mistress also reminded me there were my faults during our few days away that needed addressing, then there was an issue during shopping earlier in the day.

I went to get changed into a black pvc housecoat under which I wore tight-fitting pvc bloomers. I also wore flat court shoes and ‘regulation’ mop cap in black shiny pvc, edged in white lace. I felt suitably humiliated in such attire.

I washed the breakfast things then prepared the New Year’s Eve agenda which I presented to Mistress as follows:

Prepare meal
Maintenance punishment. 36 strokes, thin Dragon
Meal and discuss 2012 regime
Wash-up and tidy kitchen
Punishment for today’s faults. Main one was showing dissent over meal choice in M&S
Continue 2012 regime discussion and discuss my New Year’s Day chores
Punishment for holiday faults – main one was not stopping taking pictures when asked. Also disappointing Mistress in bed – twice!

It was mid-morning and instead of looking at the schedule I presented, Mistress told me to run her a bath. There’s something rather intimately special about helping bathe Mistress and then applying body lotion.

But my joy was short-lived. Mistress said I lingered too long in applying the cream in certain areas. 12 strokes of the cane followed immediately with Mistress still in her dressing gown.

We went shopping and then lunched out. Everything felt back to normal but as soon as we got home I was changed back into the ‘maid’s’ outfit and severity resumed, Mistress quietly issuing commands to do things around the house as I kept her topped up with tea.

Six o’clock came all too soon and by that time I was a bundle of nerves. I prepared out meal and reported to the lounge with the cane for my maintenance punishment. It was 36 as usual but Mistress delivered them in haphazard fashion leaving me almost begging for the next stroke at times.

Over dinner we discussed our 2012 resolutions at length, with long pauses, spent looking across the dinner table at each other, both wondering what the other was thinking. It was a surreal experience, both of us happily discussing quite heavy details about how my attitude could be improved – and what severity of correction might be required if not.

We broke off for Mistress to retire to the lounge while I cleaned the kitchen. Once finished it was time for a lecture about the day’s faults followed by another dose of the cane. 24 this time.

We continued the regime discussion. I made notes and typed the final draft which I presented to Mistress – and which you can see in a previous post. Mistress checked them and then dictated New Year’s Day’s chores. It was a lengthy list of cleaning duties and meal preparation.

The evening finished with more punishment. This time for the numerous faults during our few day’s away. I had no idea how many when Mistress secured me to the bench. Normally I’m caned in 12s with a brief break to recover. We got to 12 and the cane kept falling. The gap between strokes was so quick I didn’t have time to complete the mantra ’12 thank you Mistress’ but merely count the number.

I was suffering. We got to 24 and still no break. My voice had faded to a whisper and I felt my mouth change shape from one of steely determination to my lips curling downwards and beginning to tremble as one does just before tears begin to flow. ‘I can’t cry,’ I told myself but I could feel my shoulders shaking as I continued to whisper, 28, 29, 30.

Mistress reached 36 and stopped. I was released and dropped to my knees beside Mistress who was now stretched out on the couch.  My shoulders were still shaking. My breathing was ragged and I had tears in my eyes. But there was no flood as I’d feared. But oh how I wanted to let go and weep – not for the pain but for the sheer joy of being whipped beyond my limit of endurance. This was something I’d wanted to experience ever since becoming aware of my masochistic self. I finally knew just how much I lusted after each terrible stroke that Mistress was so lovingly applying.

It was the first time I’d every experienced such feelings and I just wanted to hug and kiss Mistress and thank her for such care and attention. But Mistress told me to stop whimpering and pushed me away.

I understood. I think both of us were deeply embarrassed by my reaction and didn’t know how to deal with it. We went to bed and just cuddled quietly.

The next morning I was shooed out of bed to prepare breakfast. I didn’t linger this time!

I spent most of the day dusting, hovering, washing floors - and preparing food and cleaning the kitchen after meals. Mistress constantly checked my performance. I loved every minute of my chores. There was no more punishment.

That was just as well. My bottom still bore a mass of swollen welts from the previous day but late in the evening, when I was updating the blog, Mistress came into the computer room and saw the bath brush and tawse out on the side table.

‘Why are these out?’ she asked in a worryingly firm tone.

‘Just in case you needed to use them during the day Mistress,’ I offered.

‘I had no need to punish you today. You were a very good boy and did you chores well. However, as you took it upon yourself to get them out we had best make use of them.

So I went to bed with a burning bottom again. A couple of dozen with the bath brush and triple-tailed tawse meant I went to bed with a burning bottom again.

It was a stinging end to our impromptu boot camp, two days that we hope will set the trend for much better behaviour on my part this year. Two days very well spent.

Sunday, 1 January 2012

New Year flr resolutions

Millions of people take this time of the year to review their lives and come up with a set number of resolutions to live by in the New Year. And I’ve noticed already how many of those with female-led relationship blogs are doing likewise.
Mistress and I discussed our relationship at some length during our Christmas break and came up with six main points that we both think need addressing – so you could call them Six of the Best, our New Year’s Resolutions. All that reamins now is to see how long we stick to them.....

1          Mistress will carry allocate me a weekly allowance of £35 to cover the cost of essentials, namely lunches and petrol. I will keep receipts for all money spent and Mistress will review my account at the end of each week and top up the balance accordingly from my bank account. I will no longer be permitted to buy any luxury good without obtaining permission from Mistress first.  This ruling is at my request to curb my continued over-spending.

2          In future I must adhere to the three tenants that our flr is based upon: ‘Never say no to Mistress.’ ‘Never question Mistress.’ ‘Mistress is always right.’ I must put Mistress first before thinking of myself. I will give Mistress more consideration and jump when Mistress demands my attention. This aim being to make me more attentive to Mistresses needs and requirements and to overcome my rather lethargic response to Mistresses commands. These rules apply in public as well as inside the home. Although we have an agreement never to disclose our flr in public Mistress will use a coded warning if I fail to meet the correct standards.

3          I will endeavour to eradicate the several bad habits I have that constantly annoy Mistress. The most important is to full accept that Mistress is in charge of the house and make no effort to take control of a situation – although I will be allowed an input of ideas if Mistress agrees. Other bad habits to correct include chewing my fingers while talking, shouting to Mistress from another room, interrupting Mistresses favourite TV shows, not taking the lead in planning our meals, not getting out of bed quick enough and setting my alarm unnecessarily early.

4          I will endeavour to keep Mistress informed of my work diary details so she is always aware of my movements and can plan around any periods I may be away from home. This is to ensure I keep Mistress informed of my work demands which are often subject to considerable changes of plan. I also need to remember to pay attention to Mistress even when we are miles apart.

 5         On a trial basis Mistress will introduce supervised masturbation prior to maintenance punishment as a means to increase the severity of the punishment.

6          Mistress will now refer to me as Polly when I am on chores duty in the house. This follows my rather bad joke that Mistress should call me ‘Polly’, the amount of times she tells me to put the kettle on during a day.