It’s been about two months since I refused a weekly maintenance session and, as I detailed in my last post, we had reverted to a totally vanilla lifestyle. We both were getting on fabulously – as always - but I felt I was slowly slipping back into my old lazy ways and even started to question Mistress on a couple of matters in the house, namely her untidy ways.
Normally I’d just clear up behind her and get on with things but the mess began to irk me and I said as much. And I didn’t clear things up half as quickly as I normally would. So I was disrespectful and lazy.
I wondered whether this was my way of bratting to stir Mistress into reintroducing the regime. But I thought about it and realized, I was just being downright unreasonable and stroppy.
As any of you living an flr lifestyle will know, that kind of behaviour was worthy of a thrashing but, with no regime in place, Mistress let it ride – and if anything became a little upset. I was knocking her confidence.
I think both of us were in place where neither knew how to progress. I really wanted Mistress to take the lead and reintroduce our regime. But I felt any suggestion to her – after my awful behaviour in refusing the weekly session all those weeks ago – would seem like me topping from the bottom, as I used to.
I think Mistress felt let down by my behaviour in the first place but didn’t want to suggest we pick up where we left off and risk the rejection a second time.
But some ten days ago, over a coffee, we were having a minor debate about some political issue when Mistress suddenly said, ‘don’t ague with me. I think what you need is some corporal punishment.’
I agreed but little more was discussed and when the subject wasn’t raised for a few days I decided to write Mistress a note, just before I embarked on an overnight business trip:
My darling Mistress,
You were so right yesterday in your assumption that I ‘need some corporal punishment.’ What I think we both need, as part of our relationship, is the domestic discipline regime we had in place – if anything, with much stricter rules in place.
You always seem happiest when you are in charge. You don’t appear to enjoy doing menial chores around the house. And you seem to enjoy the attention that is afforded you under our regime.
I’m happiest when you show you dominant side and, while I don’t like the menial tasks any more than you, I’m happy doing them if I feel it makes you happy. I also feel that our relationship in general is more intense and loving when you are in your more dominant mood.
I know it was my fault our regime came to a grinding halt and for that I am sorry, especially as you put some much effort into making it right. Sadly, I think my submissive instincts will always be tested and I will waiver from time to time, but I think we are better to pursue them rather than give up on them. I also think that perhaps if, in such moments of my weakness, if we could rely heavier on more emphasis of your dominant side it would carry us through.
One thing that’s clear is that strict use of the cane has been a most effective means of reminding of my place – as well as correcting my faults. I therefore humbly ask if we could revert to the DD regime we had in place but also examine how to improve it and, not only avoid a repetition of my bad behaviour that brought us to this situation, also look at how best to correct some of my many faults. And, as part of that regime, do you feel it would help if we re-introduced our weekly maintenance punishment session?
On Friday Mistress told me I was going to be caned on Sunday. I didn’t argue. All day Saturday she was a very different person to the easy-going one I’d known for the past two months.
She just had an air of authority about her that put me on my guard. None of my flippancy was accepted. I was told to do things rather than asked. Not only was I set tasks, I was told what time they had to started and what time they had to be completed. And throughout the day she made references to my impending punishment.
Finally, when we lie in bed on Saturday evening she calmly told me I was going to get 60 strokes of the cane in my first session during the afternoon to remind me of our flr rules. Furthermore I was set a task of wrapping all the family christmas presents between 7.00pm and 8.00pm. Failure to do complete the task would result in punishment – and furthermore, I would subsequently punished for my faults during the period we had not adhered to the regime.
I slept uneasily. It’s that strange confusion I have about this whole flr lifestyle. I absolutely lust after serving Mistress and, as I’ve said before, there are times when I desperately need to feel the cane. But I found our flr a challenge, not only the weekly punishments, the pampering to Mistress 24/7. I love her dearly but there are times when I just wanted to flop into a chair and do nothing. I know that’s wrong and maybe I’m not the submissive I fantasise about being. Do others have these feelings? I know Mistress won’t be so lenient this time about and the weekly punishments will return.
But, at the same time, I also knew that our relationship was missing something without our flr. I think I knew we both preferred it in place, rather that being without it.
There was an uneasy atmosphere all Sunday morning between us as we went about some Christmas shopping. We both knew was coming but little was mentioned – apart from the fact that Mistress reminded me several times that I’d be ‘getting changed’ once we got home.
She was true to her word. When we got indoors I was sent to get changed – punishment bloomers, raincoat, high heels - and set out the equipment – bench, restraints, canes.
Mistress got changed too – unusual in recent times for punishment sessions. She slipped into a black pvc catsuit and high heels and looked sensational.
There was no discussion beforehand. I was ordered to remove my raincoat, then get over the bench.
The 60 stroke punishment was pure agony. Five batches of 12, five different canes. All of them stung like hell and I didn’t take them too well. I’m not the bravest at the best of times but certainly, my two months off meant I’d softened up some.
Mistress wasn’t impressed and called me a wimp. She told me only the last 12 had been anything like full force. I was deflated. She released me and told me to prepare the meal.
During the cooking I asked permission to ask a pertinent question. Permission was granted.
‘The period leading up to a caning you always seem to become very authoritarian towards me to the point of bitchiness. Do you take on that persona because I originally asked you to do this and you don’t actually enjoy it? Or are you actually enjoying the role of ordering me around?’
‘It’s because you have faults that annoy me and require correction. And yes, I enjoy caning you under those circumstances.’
I suppose I asked the question because I needed to know once and for all if Mistress really did enjoy this kind of regime or if she was simply doing it to please me. I can’t tell you how overjoyed I was at her response. But I’m sure some dominant ladies will baulk at my impertinence of asking!
As we ate the meal there was an eerie atmosphere. Both of us were looking at each other but little was said. I remarked how the cane can instil a very different atmosphere into a relationship. Mistress reminded me we were far from finished.
I washed the dishes and about half an hour after the meal Mistress pointed out that the 8.00pm curfew was already upon us and I’d not even started on the presents. She said that I’d wasted so much time earlier in the day so I was clearly at fault by not considering my task earlier.
As a result, I would therefore receive 24 strokes of the cane. On top of my already swollen bottom it was hard to take - especially now as Mistress has rediscovered all her old venom in applying the rod.
I was then sent to complete my task – but told to think about my faults and report back to Mistress on completion of my task at 9.30pm.
As precisely 9.30pm I stood in front of Mistress again.
‘So you’ve come for more punishment then?’
I gulped. I had hoped I’d be let off but Mistress was in a determined mood and was showing me no mercy.
‘Yes Mistress. I had committed many faults during the last few weeks but the one I think I deserve punishment for most is being disrespectful towards you and moaning about the mess in the house.’
Mistress gave me a steely stare and cast her eyes towards the bench in the middle of the room.
‘Back over it. Now.’
I got another 24 strokes. After being released from the bench I was told to kneel at Mistress’ feet.
‘I think you now know what to expect if you step out of line again. We will resume the regime that you said you wanted and you will receive a weekly maintenance caning every Thursday, as before. Starting this coming Thursday. Now get everything cleared away and get to bed.’
I can’t even begin to put into words how good it felt to have Mistress back in charge again.