Our DD lifestyle had become strict and intense and we had been discussing a plan to run a boot camp weekend – just to enforce our regime even further.
I certainly believe both of us were benefiting the weekly maintenance punishments - the caning sessions of 36 strokes every Thursday were highly effective. I was better behaved, more respectful and responsive to Mistress while Mistress enjoyed the benefits of me working hard to please her. And, if we’re honest, she also enjoyed exercising her power over me and delighted in applying the cane with some vigour.
But also being totally honest, I had two contrasting thoughts on these punishments. On the one hand I enjoyed the submission and the closeness punishment brought but, I often drove home thinking, oh no, it’s the cane tonight. That thin Dragon cane really has a horrible bite and no matter how many times I’ve had it, I still struggled to soak up its painful application – especially as Mistress was getting more and more effective with it!
For someone with a life-long desire to experience corporal punishment, you would think that being able to experience it on weekly basis should be like manna from heaven. It wasn’t that I totally hated it. I didn’t even fear it because I knew I could get through it – at a struggle. And while it was always challenging, it wasn’t ever in my mind that we should stop.
But one particular Thursday I was driving home feeling a little under the weather and really could not face my weekly 36 strokes. When I got in the house I explained to Mistress I wasn’t feeling great and asked to forgo the punishment.
Mistress wasn’t happy about this, enquiring exactly what was wrong with me. She clearly wasn’t convinced by my whining and after we had ate dinner, she said something to the effect of ‘if you can eat dinner, you can’t be too ill so I think you should be caned. I’m only applying to rules you wanted us to live by.’
Obviously I should have gone to fetch the cane but I argued my case at which point Mistress shrugged her shoulders and went into the living room to watch TV, leaving me to do the washing up etc.
Nothing more was said on the subject that night. I apologised the next morning and felt really bad that I’d let Mistress down – and myself. Mistress was annoyed and showed her disappointment in me.
But life carried on as usual. Except when the following Thursday arrived, punishment wasn’t mentioned. I figured this was my punishment. I was wrong because we’ve not really discussed our DD lifestyle since - until the past week.
Apart from my appalling behaviour, the under current to this tale of woe is that both of us have been absolutely focussed on work – both working evenings as well as daytimes – so there’s actually been no time to asses and discuss our DD lifestyle. Plus I did go through a spell of a week where I really was ill.
Living a DD lifestyle, we’ve both learned is hard work on top of all the normal everyday things that get thrown at you, but I guess that’s why it’s so fulfilling – when one plays to the rules. And so desperately disappointing when one doesn’t.
Our relationship through all this has been absolutely perfect – we’re both happy and love each other to bits. It’s just the DD side of things has disappeared and I reached the point, where I couldn’t face looking at the blog, let alone updating it, or even surfing around to see what others were up to.
But last weekend I began to realise that I was missing the the focus that our disciplinary regime gave me so I tentatively broached the subject and asked Mistress if she thought our relationship was better or worse without DD and she replied that it was perfect either way.
I have to admit I was disappointed with her response. I was hoping she would say it was worse without DD – but she was right. We had been having a fabulous time together. And I had no right to disappointment since it was me who messed up in the first place.
However, my comments obviously struck a chord because since that brief discussion, there’s been a few little quips coming my way about things she’s not happy with in my behaviour or performance with the house chores. You know the score, almost nit-picking every tiny thing you should or should not have done. I don’t mind at all because it needs saying but I think she’s working her way around to a punishment session.
If, or when, the moment comes I’ll be happy to fetch the cane and take the thrashing that’s coming to me. I could now do with the hiatus to end and get back to the strict discipline regime we had in the house.
I probably sound like an overgrown child but I’d reached a point where I was happy in the knowledge of where the boundaries where and what was expected of me and the weekly punishment helped continually reinforce the message.
There are definitely areas I know I am lacking, and one area in particular I need some help (to curb my spending habits!), and we found in the past that a stiff dose of the cane goes a long way to improving my attitude and will power.
Mistress comes back from a night out with her girl friends tomorrow. I’m hoping she’s of a mindset to discuss the reintroduction of strict domestic discipline into our relationship. I miss it.