Saturday, 31 December 2011

FLR highs of 2011

Mistress
Mistress never ceases to amaze me. She has warmed to our domestic discipline regime in a way a submissive male could only fantasize. Mistress agreed to enter into this lifestyle to please me but has taken it on to much higher levels that I could have hoped for. It’s been an amazingly selfless show of love and trust – which works both ways for us. As a result both sides of relationship – our vanilla one and our flr - continue to blossom and I can see them begining to merge into one.

Our FLR
We’ve had some ups and downs, and even went several weeks without even discussing the subject of our flr with one another but generally we’re both really happy with the way our domestic discipline regime is working out and this year we’ve made some massive strides forward.  Even overcoming that horrible quiet period where neither of us showed any interest was a triumph in itself, and I think we’ve grown immeasurable as a result of it. I simply melt when Mistress exhibits her dominant side and what’s really good is that she now openly admits how much pleasure it gives her to have control over me – and how much she enjoys thrashing me with the cane.  On my side I’ve still got a long way to go before I can truly call myself a submissive male but I’m working towards it and enjoying the experience, though I have to admit that Mistress is becoming ever more efficient with that cane to the point where I no longer encourage her to use it and do my utmost to avoid it.

Serving B’s blog
SB’s blog was an inspiration to me. Our journeys were so similar, which is why I think we connected so well and I always looked forward to ready about his and B’s latest exploits. With their relationship growing ever stronger, they decided to stop blogging so SB could concentrate on serving B. I miss their stories but wish them all the best in their lives together. And if you read this SB, drop me an email to catch up some time!

Quality Control
It’s a while since we bought anything from Quality Control but their canes have had plenty of use in our house so I wanted to say thank you to them for producing such fantastic quality equipment. Their Dragon canes, I swear are the most effective disciplinary tools. And, I speak from experience as we have Dragon canes from other sellers to compare!

Weathervain, London
I’ve always had a fascination for rubber and pvc rainwear and other associated fetish wear but none of it is suitable for outdoors. But this year I treated myself to a brand new rubber raincoat from Weathervain which means I now have at least one item of fetish-style clothing that I can wear in public! And what a joy it is…..

Loving DD’s Boot Camp
Loving DD’s Boot Camp Guide book was one of the fascinating reads of the 2011. Boot camp was something I’d read bits and pieces about in several blogs but there were so many unanswered questions about how the whole regime worked. Having read LDD’s book, I now understand just what an intense programme Boot Camp is for both parties – but also how satisfying it must be to work through.

Spanked by My Lady
Ken and Cora have a fantastic relationship and it’s great just keeping up with their latest activities. They treat their relationship with a lot of fun – stories of checking out paddles in hardware shops had me in stitches – and aren’t afraid if people get a hint of their female dominated relationship. Cora has a wonderful dress sense and seems to have a wicked disciplinary mindset. And Ken and I seem to have a lot in common with the way our submissive nature ebbs and flows – with a deep undercurrent that both of us love to submit to our ladies.

The Discipline Archive
Garrick Espieside’s book is a fascinating account of an experiment where corporal punishment was used to correct young adults in an institution. I love the way the book not only detailed how the system worked, but then interviewed several of the students and the warders for their accounts. It’s a fictional work but is so well thought out you almost want to believe it.

Confessions of a Dominant Woman
Ms Kathleen’s blog is a fascinating read because it gives an insight into the thoughts of a mistress who is in control of a female-led relationship. I’ve only recently discovered it but it’s one of my favourite places on the web.

Kealah’s Corner
Keelah’s blog is probably the most thought-provoking blog about domestic corporal punishment that I’ve read. She’s helped me with advice in the past, not to mention encouragement when I’ve been down and, her writings are another great source of inspiration to me.

Friday, 30 December 2011

Quality flr time

The Christmas break has given Mistress and I some real quality time together and, not surprisingly, a chance to discuss our DD lifestyle in depth.

I managed to annoy Mistress early in Christmas day morning by not getting out of bed quick enough. Mistress was already out of bed and came back in the bedroom with the thin Dragon cane. I received 12 cutting strokes while laying flat on the bed. She reminded me that Christmas or not, normal rules of the house applied and she would be monitoring my behaviour as rigorously as ever.

Personally, I was delighted to be caned on Christmas Day. This very special gift underlined for me just how enthusiastic Mistress has become in her role as Head of House again.

We spent Christmas and Boxing Day with family but Mistress still picked a couple of quiet moments to remind me of minor faults – namely joining in some casual banter aimed at Mistress and failing to offer to do the washing up when we were guests and her parents’ house.

The next day we were heading for a few days at the coast and I was lucky to avoid the cane - again I’d not jumped out of bed quick enough for Mistresses liking. I was sat with my legs over the side of the bed,

rubbing my eyes. But technically I was not out of bed and Mistress was a little annoyed I didn’t move faster after my correction only two days earlier. To be honest, I was surprised I got away with it. I mentioned this in the car and Mistress said that I should not worry, everything was being logged and I would be ‘sorted out properly on New Year’s Eve.’

All week, Mistress has kept me on my toes. She has picked me up on issues, each time simply saying, ‘and that’s another 12.’

Probably my most stupid faux pas was to keep taking photos of Mistress after she had asked me to stop. We were in a ‘playful’ mood so I clicked away. She stopped me on the beach and, despite being among crowds of walkers, said, ‘when we get home and I’m caning you, and you are begging me to stop, I will simply carry on, just like you do when I ask you to stop. And we’ll see how you like being ignored. You really are going to suffer.’

With that, we walked on, along the beach – me in my rubber raincoat, Mistress in her pvc mackintosh, both of us in wellies by the way (!) - as if nothing had happened. Except my stomach was churning at the thought of what was now becoming a serious situation – but one I had only myself to blame for.

But even worse was failing to pleasure Mistress while we were away. My rather over-exited selfishness led to a premature end to several encounters shall we say, which, in turn led to Mistress not only being very disgusted by my lack of self control, but also to discussing methods of preventing this happening in future.

The worst option discussed was supervised milking to reduce my pent up sexual excitement which Mistress hopes will then allow me to concentrate more on her needs than trying to stop myself from coming too early.
We have discussed this in the past – at my suggestion – and Mistress dismissed the idea but it seems that after this past week she’s keen to give it a try.

But what worried me more than the humiliation of either being milked or milking myself in front of Mistress was discussing whether the milking should be carried out prior to punishment. We have read that, properly supervised, the milking is anything but pleasurable and its effect is to increase the psychological pain of the punishment.

Needless to say, we would be very interested to hear from any of you who have experience of milking as part of your flr regime.

Saturday, 24 December 2011

Christmas Eve caning

As Mistress and I cuddled up in bed last Thursday evening, I felt it only my duty to say something.
‘Mistress, we’ve…we’ve overlooked the maintenance punishment this evening.’

Mistress gave me one of her looks. ‘I’ve overlooked nothing. You will have your maintenance punishment when I decide. I realised we would be too busy tonight so we’ll deal with it another evening. I think Saturday evening will be perfect. We’ll have plenty of time then, won’t we?’

Christmas Eve? ‘Yes Mistress. Of course.’

I hadn’t been looking forward to Thursday at all. My bottom was still quite sore and bruised from the previous punishment and I’d ‘earned’ d the promise of 10 extra on top of the scheduled 36. It was my own fault entirely. I’d been rushing for work on Tuesday morning and was just getting in the car, when Mistress shouted at me that the bin needed to be put out. The ‘oh for goodness sake,’ wasn’t muttered under my breath quietly enough.

Mistress called me into the house and told me in no uncertain manner that my dissent had earned me ten extra strokes at my next punishment session. I think I got off lightly.

So when we went to bed on Friday night, Mistress casually reminded me that I was to be caned on Saturday at 6.00pm – 36 strokes plus the ten. At least I’d had a couple extra days for the bruising to go…..

We had a great Saturday, catching up on a few last minute shopping bits which meant lunch out in one of the better cafés in the town. But the thought of my caning was never far from my mind. We spent ages in one of the quiet corners just idly chatting about nothing in particular, indulging a bit of people watching, when  Mistress snuggled closer and whispered, ‘when we get home I want you to get changed into something suitable for serving Mistress. Then you will prepare the evening meal.

Mistress meant a maid’s outfit we had bought way back when we used to just play some CP games; a very unstylish black overall which reached just below my knees, baggy bloomers which reached just above my knees, mop cap – all in shiny black pvc, edged in white lace - plus some very plain court shoes. It’s an outfit I feel ridiculous wearing, but Mistress knows this and always makes me wear for those prolonged sessions of household chores.

Once home I changed and reported to Mistress who was watching TV in the lounge. She set me to work preparing the meal. Once that was done I reported back to the lounge. And then I went over the bench, Mistress fastened my wrists and then pulled down my bloomers to apply 24 strokes of the cane to my bare bottom. As this was maintenance, Mistress only used the thin Dragon.

I then dished up the meal, ate with Mistress and then washed the dishes.

Job done I was then told to go and finish all the christmas wrapping I had failed to complete during the evening of my previous punishment. I forgot the wrapping paper for the children’s presents and Mistress, without me realsing, kindly brought it upstairs to the spare room where I was working.

I’d decided to wrap Mistresses presents first so when I heard her coming upstairs and I shouted at her to not come in the room. I greeted her at the door and snatched the paper from her. I got a very icey stare and Mistress went back down stairs.

Seconds later I heard, ‘You had better come down here – this instant.’

I knew what to expect. But the image before made my tummy churn. Mistress was stood in the middle of the room flexing the cane. ‘How dare you raise your voice to me,’ she said in a calm but very stern voice and, using the flimsy cane as a pointer, added, ‘get over the bench.’

I got 12 strokes, rapid strokes and Mistress wasn’t sparing me. The strokes came so fast I never had time to count them. I was gasping air and it was only once the twelfth one had struck that I let out a long, agonised grunt.

‘Stand up. What do you have to say for yourself?’

I thanked Mistress from the correction and apologised profusely. Mistress said, ‘I should think so,’ and waved me away.

Once I’d wrapped all the presents I reported back to the lounge and stood to attention. Mistress asked me what I was going to do now and I stupidly pointed out there was still 12 maintenance strokes and 10 extras to come.

‘You’re not topping from the bottom here are you? I will decide when you are punished. Now go and tidy the kitchen ready for tomorrow. I will come and inspect it when you are finished.’

I worked diligently, putting everything in it’s place, polishing work surfaces, washing the floor. No matter how much I enjoy the fantasy of being caned, the reality of any more than the 22 I had coming just did not appeal so I wanted to give no excuses for any more extras.

Thankfully my labours earned me no more but I still took the 22 I had owing. Mistress decided to apply them while I was lying face down on the bed. I swear the downward swing of the cane gave her much more ferocity. With no restrains to help me, I was grasping the bedsheets with all my strength to try and maintain position.

After punishment, Mistress allowed me to watch TV with her but then sent me to complete this blog update. We’re visiting friends and family during next week but Mistress has just told me my next maintenance punishment will not take place on Thursday but will be postponed to New Year’s Eve. You can sure I’ll be on my best behaviour so I don’t incur any extras in future.

In closing, I’d just like to thank everyone who takes time to read this blog. I thank you for your interest and support. And I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year.


Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Re-acquainted with the cane

Our domestic discipline regime resumed at the weekend but I couldn’t have dreamed what I was letting myself in for when I wrote Mistress a note, asking if we could return to our old ways.

It’s been about two months since I refused a weekly maintenance session and, as I detailed in my last post, we had reverted to a totally vanilla lifestyle. We both were getting on fabulously – as always - but I felt I was slowly slipping back into my old lazy ways and even started to question Mistress on a couple of matters in the house, namely her untidy ways.
Normally I’d just clear up behind her and get on with things but the mess began to irk me and I said as much. And I didn’t clear things up half as quickly as I normally would. So I was disrespectful and lazy.

I wondered whether this was my way of bratting to stir Mistress into reintroducing the regime. But I thought about it and realized, I was just being downright unreasonable and stroppy.

As any of you living an flr lifestyle will know, that kind of behaviour was worthy of a thrashing but, with no regime in place, Mistress let it ride – and if anything became a little upset. I was knocking her confidence.

I think both of us were in place where neither knew how to progress. I really wanted Mistress to take the lead and reintroduce our regime. But I felt any suggestion to her – after my awful behaviour in refusing the weekly session all those weeks ago – would seem like me topping from the bottom, as I used to.

I think Mistress felt let down by my behaviour in the first place but didn’t want to suggest we pick up where we left off and risk the rejection a second time.

But some ten days ago, over a coffee, we were having a minor debate about some political issue when Mistress suddenly said, ‘don’t ague with me. I think what you need is some corporal punishment.’

I agreed but little more was discussed and when the subject wasn’t raised for a few days I decided to write Mistress a note, just before I embarked on an overnight business trip:

My darling Mistress,

You were so right yesterday in your assumption that I ‘need some corporal punishment.’ What I think we both need, as part of our relationship, is the domestic discipline regime we had in place – if anything, with much stricter rules in place.

You always seem happiest when you are in charge. You don’t appear to enjoy doing menial chores around the house. And you seem to enjoy the attention that is afforded you under our regime.

I’m happiest when you show you dominant side and, while I don’t like the menial tasks any more than you, I’m happy doing them if I feel it makes you happy. I also feel that our relationship in general is more intense and loving when you are in your more dominant mood.

I know it was my fault our regime came to a grinding halt and for that I am sorry, especially as you put some much effort into making it right.  Sadly, I think my submissive instincts will always be tested and I will waiver from time to time, but I think we are better to pursue them rather than give up on them. I also think that perhaps if, in such moments of my weakness, if we could rely heavier on more emphasis of your dominant side it would carry us through.

One thing that’s clear is that strict use of the cane has been a most effective means of reminding of my place – as well as correcting my faults. I therefore humbly ask if we could revert to the DD regime we had in place but also examine how to improve it and, not only avoid a repetition of my bad behaviour that brought us to this situation, also look at how best to correct some of my many faults. And, as part of that regime, do you feel it would help if we re-introduced our weekly maintenance punishment session?

With love

xxx

On Friday Mistress told me I was going to be caned on Sunday. I didn’t argue. All day Saturday she was a very different person to the easy-going one I’d known for the past two months. 

She just had an air of authority about her that put me on my guard. None of my flippancy was accepted. I was told to do things rather than asked. Not only was I set tasks, I was told what time they had to started and what time they had to be completed. And throughout the day she made references to my impending punishment.

Finally, when we lie in bed on Saturday evening she calmly told me I was going to get 60 strokes of the cane in my first session during the afternoon to remind me of our flr rules. Furthermore I was set a task of wrapping all the family christmas presents between 7.00pm and 8.00pm. Failure to do complete the task would result in punishment – and furthermore, I would subsequently punished for my faults during the period we had not adhered to the regime.

I slept uneasily. It’s that strange confusion I have about this whole flr lifestyle. I absolutely lust after serving Mistress and, as I’ve said before, there are times when I desperately need to feel the cane. But I found our flr a challenge, not only the weekly punishments, the pampering to Mistress 24/7. I love her dearly but there are times when I just wanted to flop into a chair and do nothing. I know that’s wrong and maybe I’m not the submissive I fantasise about being. Do others have these feelings? I know Mistress won’t be so lenient this time about and the weekly punishments will return.

But, at the same time, I also knew that our relationship was missing something without our flr. I think I knew we both preferred it in place, rather that being without it.

There was an uneasy atmosphere all Sunday morning between us as we went about some Christmas shopping. We both knew was coming but little was mentioned – apart from the fact that Mistress reminded me several times that I’d be ‘getting changed’ once we got home. 

She was true to her word. When we got indoors I was sent to get changed – punishment bloomers, raincoat, high heels - and set out the equipment – bench, restraints, canes.
Mistress got changed too – unusual in recent times for punishment sessions. She slipped into a black pvc catsuit and high heels and looked sensational.

There was no discussion beforehand. I was ordered to remove my raincoat, then get over the bench.

The 60 stroke punishment was pure agony. Five batches of 12, five different canes. All of them stung like hell and I didn’t take them too well. I’m not the bravest at the best of times but certainly, my two months off meant I’d softened up some.

Mistress wasn’t impressed and called me a wimp. She told me only the last 12 had been anything like full force. I was deflated. She released me and told me to prepare the meal.
During the cooking I asked permission to ask a pertinent question. Permission was granted.
‘The period leading up to a caning you always seem to become very authoritarian towards me to the point of bitchiness. Do you take on that persona because I originally asked you to do this and you don’t actually enjoy it? Or are you actually enjoying the role of ordering me around?’

‘It’s because you have faults that annoy me and require correction. And yes, I enjoy caning you under those circumstances.’

I suppose I asked the question because I needed to know once and for all if Mistress really did enjoy this kind of regime or if she was simply doing it to please me.  I can’t tell you how overjoyed I was at her response. But I’m sure some dominant ladies will baulk at my impertinence of asking!

As we ate the meal there was an eerie atmosphere. Both of us were looking at each other but little was said.  I remarked how the cane can instil a very different atmosphere into a relationship. Mistress reminded me we were far from finished.

I washed the dishes and about half an hour after the meal Mistress pointed out that the 8.00pm curfew was already upon us and I’d not even started on the presents. She said that I’d wasted so much time earlier in the day so I was clearly at fault by not considering my task earlier.

As a result, I would therefore receive 24 strokes of the cane. On top of my already swollen bottom it was hard to take - especially now as Mistress has rediscovered all her old venom in applying the rod.

I was then sent to complete my task – but told to think about my faults and report back to Mistress on completion of my task at 9.30pm.

As precisely 9.30pm I stood in front of Mistress again.

‘So you’ve come for more punishment then?’

I gulped. I had hoped I’d be let off but Mistress was in a determined mood and was showing me no mercy.

‘Yes Mistress. I had committed many faults during the last few weeks but the one I think I deserve punishment for most is being disrespectful towards you and moaning about the mess in the house.’

Mistress gave me a steely stare and cast her eyes towards the bench in the middle of the room.

‘Back over it. Now.’

I got another 24 strokes. After being released from the bench I was told to kneel at Mistress’ feet.

‘I think you now know what to expect if you step out of line again. We will resume the regime that you said you wanted  and you will receive a weekly maintenance caning every Thursday, as before. Starting this coming Thursday. Now get everything cleared away and get to bed.’

I can’t even begin to put into words how good it felt  to have Mistress back in charge again.

Friday, 9 December 2011

DD lifestyle on hold

I have to apologise for not updating our blog since late October, but I’ve felt there was little to say and I didn’t have the interest to even turn on my home PC, let alone keep our blog updated.

Our DD lifestyle had become strict and intense and we had been discussing a plan to run a boot camp weekend – just to enforce our regime even further.

I certainly believe both of us were benefiting the weekly maintenance punishments - the caning sessions of 36 strokes every Thursday were highly effective. I was better behaved, more respectful and responsive to Mistress while Mistress enjoyed the benefits of me working hard to please her. And, if we’re honest, she also enjoyed exercising her power over me and delighted in applying the cane with some vigour.

But also being totally honest, I had two contrasting thoughts on these punishments. On the one hand I enjoyed the submission and the closeness punishment brought but, I often drove home thinking, oh no, it’s the cane tonight. That thin Dragon cane really has a horrible bite and no matter how many times I’ve had it, I still struggled to soak up its painful application – especially as Mistress was getting more and more effective with it!

For someone with a life-long desire to experience corporal punishment, you would think that being able to experience it on weekly basis should be like manna from heaven. It wasn’t that I totally hated it. I didn’t even fear it because I knew I could get through it – at a struggle. And while it was always challenging, it wasn’t ever in my mind that we should stop.

But one particular Thursday I was driving home feeling a little under the weather and really could not face my weekly 36 strokes. When I got in the house I explained to Mistress I wasn’t feeling great and asked to forgo the punishment.

Mistress wasn’t happy about this, enquiring exactly what was wrong with me. She clearly wasn’t convinced by my whining and after we had ate dinner, she said something to the effect of ‘if you can eat dinner, you can’t be too ill so I think you should be caned. I’m only applying to rules you wanted us to live by.’

Obviously I should have gone to fetch the cane but I argued my case at which point Mistress shrugged her shoulders and went into the living room to watch TV, leaving me to do the washing up etc.

Nothing more was said on the subject that night. I apologised the next morning and felt really bad that I’d let Mistress down – and myself. Mistress was annoyed and showed her disappointment in me.

But life carried on as usual. Except when the following Thursday arrived, punishment wasn’t mentioned. I figured this was my punishment. I was wrong because we’ve not really discussed our DD lifestyle since - until the past week.

Apart from my appalling behaviour, the under current to this tale of woe is that both of us have been absolutely focussed on work – both working evenings as well as daytimes – so there’s actually been no time to asses and discuss our DD lifestyle. Plus I did go through a spell of a week where I really was ill.

Living a DD lifestyle, we’ve both learned is hard work on top of all the normal everyday things that get thrown at you, but I guess that’s why it’s so fulfilling – when one plays to the rules. And so desperately disappointing when one doesn’t.

Our relationship through all this has been absolutely perfect – we’re both happy and love each other to bits. It’s just the DD side of things has disappeared and I reached the point, where I couldn’t face looking at the blog, let alone updating it, or even surfing around to see what others were up to.

But last weekend I  began to realise that I was missing the the focus that our disciplinary regime gave me  so I tentatively broached the subject and asked Mistress if she thought our relationship was better or worse without DD and she replied that it was perfect either way.

I have to admit I was disappointed with her response. I was hoping she would say it was worse without DD – but she was right. We had been having a fabulous time together. And I had no right to disappointment since it was me who messed up in the first place.

However, my comments obviously struck a chord because since that brief discussion, there’s been a few little quips coming my way about things she’s not happy with in my behaviour or performance with the house chores. You know the score, almost nit-picking every tiny thing you should or should not have done. I don’t mind at all because it needs saying but I think she’s working her way around to a punishment session.

If, or when, the moment comes I’ll be happy to fetch the cane and take the thrashing that’s coming to me. I could now do with the hiatus to end and get back to the strict discipline regime we had in the house.

I probably sound like an overgrown child but I’d reached a point where I was happy in the knowledge of where the boundaries where and what was expected of me and the weekly punishment helped continually reinforce the message.

There are definitely areas I know I am lacking, and one area in particular I need some help (to curb my spending habits!), and we found in the past that a stiff dose of the cane goes a long way to improving my attitude and will power.

Mistress comes back from a night out with her girl friends tomorrow.  I’m hoping she’s of a mindset to discuss the reintroduction of strict domestic discipline into our relationship. I miss it.