Friday, 21 October 2011

The benefits of Boot Camp?

The latest post on the interesting Learning Domestic Discipline blog concerns ‘Domestic Discipline Boot Camp Basics.’

The aim of the Boot Camp, according to LDD is “an intense, multi-day experience an actively practicing Domestic Discipline couple goes through in order to set more defined roles in both partners within a marriage/household, as well as set crystal clear expectations of both partners within a marriage/household.”

LDD also explains the need for a ‘Boot Camp’ and says: ‘it is intended to help the husband (or head of the household) be more consistent with discipline, and is also intended to help the wife become more respectful of the rules set forth by the husband (or head of the household).  In addition, boot camp is intended to correct behaviors and shape how Domestic Discipline will be done in the future within the household.  Boot camp also includes a set of homework assignments intended to strengthen and nourish the foundation of the marriage, and enhance the communication between husband and wife.”

I can see the benefit of this kind of regime and it’s something Mistress and I have indulged in from time to time over a brief two-day period to get our flr back on track. However, I can also see that a much longer period of Boot Camp might have a much longer-lasting effect on the minds of both parties and, if I’m honest, an extended period of ‘Boot Camp’ is something we might consider.

The reason I say this is because both of us have been very busy and have had very little time together with the result that while our flr has not exactly been put on hold, it has become inconsistent. How many of you out there go through this similar kind of unheavel – and then work hard on your flr to get that back on track the minute you get some quality time together?

What normally happens in our relationship is that when we have some time together, Mistress becomes very authoritative and I strive hard to get back in line. It’s normally an intense couple of days where every fault is picked up on and corrected.

LDD has only explained basics in the blog and promises there will be a book published, covering Boot Camp ideals but Mistress and I have talked about the benefits of a longer-term Boot Camp.

We’re wondering if a sustained Boot Camp would actually help both of us focus with more consistency in our FLR. After Mistress caned me tonight she said that it’s sometimes really hard for her to pick up the focus of ‘us’ when so many other things are happening. I feel exactly the same.

So can Boot Camp help?

According to LDD: “Each day of boot camp is structured with different tasks which include the four daily spanking sessions and the four daily homework assignments.  During the time in boot camp, and ideally in everyday life, the HOH is completely in charge.  Boot camp has a "no tolerance" type of policy, and the HOH should punish instantly when there is any sort of defiance from the wife.  Not only does this teach the wife to respect her husband (or in our case the sub male respect Mistress) and the rules of the home, but it also teaches the HOH that he (or she) MUST be consistent with the rules and punishments, otherwise the marriage (or relationship) will suffer in the long run.  Again, everything in boot camp is done for a reason, and with long term overall benefits.”

Boot Camp would be an extremely strict period of several days in which every rule in the house is adhered to. There would be absolutely ‘no tolerance’ and the policy would cover every single aspect of the relationship. Any rule-breaking would be punished immediately and severely – much more severely than usual.

If Mistress and I adopted the idea of Boot Camp, I think it would have to be over five to seven days and accentuate every single rule we have, plus introduce a lot more.

LDD suggest four spankings per day which seems excessive over a seven day period but then we’re talking about an extreme and intense regime.

I tried to research other Boot Camp regimes but found little really tangible advice that would be applicable to a real relationship, but Mistress has charged me with delivering her a five or seven day plan to explain how Boot Camp could be structured and what benefits she might expect to see from the experience.

If anyone out there has any valid suggestions or experience we can draw from we’d love to hear from you.

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Missed maintenance canings

After missing two Thursday punishments on the trot, purely through outside commitments Mistress got her caning arm back in full swing this week.

Sunday morning we were just about to go out for a walk when Mistress ordered me to fetch the cane.
Fetching the cane now invariably means the thin Dragon, our regular maintenance punishment implement. I got 12 for backchat late during the previous evening. This was no ordinary caning. For the first time I was well aware of the whistle of the cane before each impact – suggesting to me that Mistress was laying it on very hard. Normally I’m not really aware of the whoosh – just the pain. But this 12 were real stingers.

I was warned that wasn’t the last I was going to feel of the cane during the day and off we went for our walk, hand in hand down the road like nothing had ever happened.

Mistress kept me waiting all day and just when I thought I’d escaped, I was reminded at 10.00pm that I was still owed was last Thursday’s maintenance punishment. I duly received that and the strokes were delivered just as hard as earlier in the day.

But Mistress hadn’t finished and she decided that not bringing her a cup of tea, me huffing and puffing when she took me to task over the matter and leaving the toilet seat up deserved even further correction so I had to endure another 12 or so of the three-tailed tawse before bedtime.

Today, being Thursday and our official maintenance punishment day, I got another 36 - on top of the marks that had still not faded from Sunday.

To be frank, this was no where near the intensity of Sunday’s session. Yes it hurt, but I could tell Mistress wasn’t laying it on and she later admitted, she thought I’d already had a good thrashing so was being a bit lenient.

Saturday, 15 October 2011

Our flr in public

I think we reached something of a defining moment in our FLR recently.

Mistress and I were in a coffee shop for lunch,. Mistress picked out a tuno mayo roll and pointed to a flapjack. She also asked me to get her an elderflower flavoured drink and then walked off to find a table, leaving me to order the food and drinks and pay. I bought myself a cheese and tomato roll, fresh cream scone and black coffee.

I took the food and drinks to the table and laid everything out and then sat down to eat. Mistress, though just stared at her roll then said in the most haughty voice: “Did you get me a knife to cut this roll?”

“I didn’t see any,” came my response between chewing on my food.

“That’s ridiculous, they must have knives. They didn’t have any? I don’t believe you.”

And with that Mistress got up and went in search of a knife.

She came back in seconds,brandishing a knife and said, “I cannot believe you could have imagined that a café would not have a knife to cut food. Did you even ask?”

Mistress was talking loud enough for everyone in the small café to hear and, I felt mself h with embarrassment.

“Well did you?”

“No.

“No what?”

I looked at her and saw, ‘the look’. “No Mistress,” I said in the quietest voice possible, hoping no one would hear my submissive response – but also hoping Mistress would quell her strident tones.

“And where is my chocolate cake,” she continued raising her voice even louder.

“Chocolate cake? You said you wanted flapjack.”

“I did not,” she replied indignantly. “I pointed to the flapjack thinking you might like it. I asked for chocolate cake.”

It simply wasn’t true. I hadn’t misheard her. By now I wasn’t just embarrassed, I was getting angry and boiling inside. I was ready to just walk out of the café and leave this stroppy woman in the café.

I would have done just that in my former life and probably sulked for several days. But instead I sat there, not touching my own food, red in the face and wondering what had happened. We had been enjoying a great day out, just wandering around the shops. I told myself to calm down and picked up my food and began to eat. By now Mistress had finished hers, and pushed the plate to one side.

“Right, now you can go and get me some chocolate cake and a pot of tea. Now!”

This wasn’t a polite request. This was an order and suddenly, the penny dropped. She wasn’t at all angry or being awkward, she was playing out a role we normally reserve for the privacy of our own home.

My emotions went from anger and embarrassment to a flutter in my stomach and a twinge further down. It was a rather exciting moment to realise what was going on.

I set my food aside again and meekly went to order her cake and tea. I came back with it on a tray and stood at the table.

“Your afternoon tea Mistress,” I said, this time loud enough for others to hear.

“That’s better,” Mistress said, barely acknowledging my presence. “You can sit down down now.”

We didn’t discuss the incident there, but in the car on the way home I asked Mistress what happened in the coffee shop.

“It was a little test,” she said. “I wanted to see how you would react.” And then she changed the subject.
I must say I had been surprised how Mistress suddenly switched from enjoying the shopping trip to being so stern but that’s her prerogative and, if it happens again, I’ll be ready for it. I’m certainly delighted if she’s happy to make our flr a little more public.

If it was a test I’d have like to know how I performed. I know you better behaved subs out there and experienced dominant ladies will rightly criticise me for even allowing myself to become angry in the first place – and point out that I should be ready and willing to serve at any time -  but I was caught by the changed in mood. Once I allowed the authority of Mistress wash over me it was quite a delightful experience and I enjoyed acting the role of ‘maid’, taking her tea and cake to the table.

I wonder if anyone in the coffee shop realised the dynamic of our relationship or just shrugged their shoulders and said, ‘guess who wears the trousers in that household.’

Or maybe there was a couple in there with a knowing smile on their faces thinking, ‘I wonder how she’ll punish him when she gets him home….’