I’d read an insightful post on Learning Domestic Discipline which presents couples living in FLR’s with regular tasks and this recent task was that both sides of the relationship should write a letter to the other, expressing thoughts on ‘how you feel the relationship could be better, including what areas/aspects of the relationship you feel both parties need to improve on.’
I mentioned this to Mistress and this is a result of the ongoing discussion, based on the LDD post.
1 My focus
We both feel our weekly maintenance punishment sessions have been effective in as much they help me focus better on my submissive attitude. However Mistress has noted that the effect only lasts a limited amount of time before I slip into my old selfish ways. So one area for improvement is for me to maintain my focus through the entire week, where it’s been slipping after a few days (see 2 below). The other issue we have is that the 36-stroke caning, while effective, almost restricts us to using the cane once per week (due to the damage it causes to the flesh – as Kealah quit rightly suggested it might). I just about heals in time for a fresh set of stripes but Mistress said she is not happy at the thought of using the cane more than once in the same week. We both agreed however, there are some situations within the FLR where it would be favourable to be able to use the cane as a punishment at other times than the weekly maintenance session.
2 Mistress and her level of assertiveness
The only area of our FLR that I think Mistress could improve is in her level of assertiveness. There are times when, wrongly, I rebel against our regime (which I asked for in the first place incidentally) but at these times, Mistress backs off when she sees me in this mindset –the very time when what I need is pulling up sharp. I think it would help our relationship if I didn’t adopt this mindset in the first place, but also if Mistress adopted a more assertive role and stamped out any lack of respect instantly. Mistress however maintains, quite rightly, that I shouldn’t need constant punishment. She says focus (see 1) is something I should monitor myself and should be able to maintain without supervision. Mistress also said that there are times when my behaviour is downright spiteful and that I have to learn to temper what she calls, ‘my bitchy tendencies’. She said I must take a good look at myself when I get in such a mood and take a deep breath to avoid upsetting Mistress. My thought is that this fault, which I admit sometimes does get the better of me, warrants corporal punishment – probably more so that any other fault I have because it show a lack of respect towards Mistress.
3 My spendthrift ways
I explained to Mistress that I need help in this area. I’m far too frivolous with money and I need to have more self control – but I could also do with a little help from her to exercise this self control. Mistress said that in future I will be required to ask permission before spending any money on luxury items. We both agreed we need to discuss what kind of sanctions will be imposed if I break the rule.
4 My bad habits
I have several bad habits which Mistress has to repeatedly remind me of: shouting for an adjacent room in the house, leaving the toilet seat up, handing her bedroom robe in the mornings before she gets out of bed, leaving the electric shower turned on all day, etc etc. I have to make more effort to correct these faults. Again there is need to discuss suitable sanctions.
5 Household chores
I lack direction in completing my household chores. Mistress suggested that I draw up a check list of my responsibilities and she will ensure I attend to everything in a controlled routine.
6 Restriction of computer use
Mistress has banned the laptop and other electronic devices from the breakfast table because it means she is not the centre of focus she should be.
7 Saying good night
Mistress said that in future if she chooses to go to be early, this is it my responsibility to say good night to her properly, even if I am not going to bed.
8 Remember Mistress is human
Mistress said that sometimes she needs moral support. She says that I seem to think she can cope with anything and be dominant at all times but that is not always the case and I should respect that more than I do.
Those are our thoughts. But I’m sure there will be others. That’s the advantage of continually discussing our relationship in an honest and open manner. We’ve also been discussing corrective measures and I’ll detail our revised punishment regime in my next post. But in the meantime, if anyone wishes to comment or make suggestions then we’ll look forward to your responses.