Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Nervous anticipation

I have to admit I’ve never been so nervous about an upcoming punishment session. It’s Thursday tomorrow, as Mistress has taken great delight in reminding me three times already today, and I’m due another 36 with the cane.

Sunday’s session is still weighing heavily on my mind – the sheer venom with which she delivered my maintenance punihsment, and then added 12 more for faults that I’d committed that week was, as I’ve said, a real big step forward in our regime.

I suspect most of you submissive males with a similar interests will know that the anticipation manifests itself as extreme excitement one second and a horrible sick feeling in the pit of the stomach the next.  

Mistress even insisted last night that should be ‘dressing up’ in the evenings this week – which means my baggy pvc bloomers under one of my shiny black raincoats. She knows how much I enjoy indulging in my rainwear fetish but also knows the poignancy of those horrible pants that are intrinsically linked in my head to punishment. She always insists I parade in front of her and takes great delight in having a little giggle at my outfit.

 So I didn’t really need any reminder, I’ve been thinking about Thursday since last Sunday night but that’s the whole point. It’s definitely keeping me on my toes and thinking about things a lot more. 36 is painful enough so to get extras again would really not be a good idea. But the mood Mistress is in, I’m not sure she won’t just add extras for the sake of it – which of course she is perfectly entitled to.

I’m not sure what exactly is going on. Mistress has definitely been in a different frame of mind this past week to ten days – much more authoritarian than ever before. We’ve not really had time to discuss why, or even if, there is any real change. Perhaps it’s just my perception but either way, it’s had an effect on the entire balance of our relationship.

Mistress has a lot of work pressure at the moment so maybe I’m her target as a means venting steam? Or maybe she’s simply become fed up with my lax ways?

It could just be that our neighbours are on holiday and Mistress no longer has to worry about how much I squirm and squeal and she can finally deliver the kind of punishment she has always wanted to. There’s something in that because both of us are acutely aware that the noise carries between our two houses. If that’s the case we need to move to a detached house!

The only sure way to find out is to see what tomorrow brings, then talk things over in detail and then see how things develop in subsequent weeks.

From a personal point of view, even though things are tougher for me, I’d be more than delighted to carry on like this. It feels like we both have real direction and focus right now – and an intensity of love and affection that’s really quite enjoyable.

Whatever the reasons, I’m trying to improve my performance by doing more chores and today I’ve several things that desperately need sorting around the house. To not do them would certainly warrant extras on Thursday so I’m going to sign off now and tend to them.


  1. Hi
    I hope you get what you deserve tonight. Your partner certainly seems to be supportive at the moment.
    Michael M

  2. Michael: You will be pleased to know that I suffered at the hands of Mistress tonight as scheduled: 36 strokes as per maintenance and six extras for throwing away a used envelope without asking Mistress if she needed or not when I did my cleaning chores.

  3. Hi
    it sounds as though you had a thorough maintenance session, 36 +6 is a good tariff. The "dressing up" side of your plans is troubling as, being a submissive, you are not supposed to be participating in maintenance, but instead being the recipient of what your partner wishes to hand out. Maybe you should keep your clothing fetish for a different day, so that it does not become confused with discipline.
    Michael M

  4. You got me with the *anticipation* thoughts, and especially how She giggles while you parade in front of you. PVC bloomers sound pretty hawt, btw!
    My wife will giggle at me in lingerie, too...maybe that's why it resonates?