It’s unnerving to know that even eight hours ahead of the event, worse still having known for the entire week - and being aware this is going to be a weekly routine.
I can blame no one else. I suggested the idea to Mistress after Michael M had mooted the idea in a response to one of my blog posts where I was complaining how difficult it was to maintaining any kind of FLR regime with both of us being so busy with work etc.
By arranging a weekly maintenance session each week, Michael M suggested both Mistress and I would know exactly what to expect of each other. I felt such a routine would help remind me of my place in our relationship.
Mistress jumped at the idea – I was surprised by her enthusiasm if I’m honest. She even suggested I draw up the ground rules – which I posted a last Sunday.
I made no further mention of it following that conversation but on Monday it became clear that it was going to become a regular part of our lives when Mistress announced during our evening meal that we would be starting this new regime on Thursday!
Since then we have spent quite some time each day discussing details – Mistress wanting to get it absolutely clear with me what she expects. And now the day has arrived.
As I said, it’s unnerving. Each time I think of it my stomach churns. It’s some time since I’ve been caned and a long time since I’ve been caned in a judicial-style method.
Mistress reckons 36 is no problem for me to take and she’s probably right since I’ve suffered more in the past. But I’m feeling a whole different psychology about this. It’s so premeditated and so judicial in style that, while I’m excited in one way, I am quite scared of the outcome, especially as I say, this is going to be a regular experience.
I’ve not been punished recently which doesn’t help. I find that regular sessions tune the mind to accept punishment more readily but maybe once this first session is out of the way I’ll accept the situation more easily.
What I have noticed though is that already I’m much more in tune with what Mistress is thinking and what her needs are so perhaps the regime will improve our flr – because ultimately, no matter how much I fantasise about my pleasures of the rod, the important thing is that I serve Mistress better.