Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Maintenance punishments

Michael M raised a really good point in a comment he made on my recent post, 'Corrective Measures Required.'

I was discussing my ‘need’ to be caned and, how subconsciously, I make mistakes which result in Mistress punishing me.

We have decided to use corporal punishment when I fail to live up to Mistresses expectations. I have faults, many of them, but by and large, the system we have adopted works well for us to help me maintain my submissive attitude towards Mistress and ensure I serve her in the correct manner that pleases her.

However, we both are acutely aware that the only reason we use such methods in the home are because I have a life-long fascination with corporal punishment and enjoy being caned.

So how to balance that pleasure, but still be able to use it as a deterrent to correct my many faults? Mistress has adopted a degree of severity that removes the pleasure of being punished. I now know that if I break the rules I’m going to suffer more pain than pleasure if I’m caned.

Since adopting this regime we’ve noticed how much closer we have become and how much more attentive I am in our relationship.

However, there are still times when my masochistic tendencies take over and I feel a need to be caned. This tends to happen when the atmosphere in the home is at its best and we’re both relaxed and content.

Something triggers that desire and that’s when I start to misbehave. It’s not a decision I take to ‘brat’ but Mistress has noticed a change in me – a kind of tension when I feel this ‘need.’

I am only too well aware that the best thing Mistress could do when I reach a point when I desperately crave corporal punishment ‘therapy’ is to deny me, which is exactly what she now does.

However Michael M’s suggestion is that to avert this feeling of ‘need’ his wife has instigated routine maintenance spankings where his is punished, routinely, every ten days.

I’ve read about maintenance spankings before and not really given the idea much credence.  We wanted to use real punishment for real faults but having thought through Michael M’s suggestions I have to say the idea has merit.

Mistress and I have touched on the subject and noted it as a topic for discussion but
personally I think it’s the way forward now for our regime.

The reason it works in my head is that we can plan ahead and establish a set day, time and number of strokes for the routine punishment. It would demand severity to ensure it wasn’t something to be craved as a kind of pleasure release.

Having a routine would instantly erase any of that ‘need’ that I experience and Mistress would expect that, for argument’s sake on Wednesday night at 8.00pm  I would present myself with the cane for prescribed punishment of 36 strokes with the thin Dragon cane (the most painful implement we have).

The other advantage of the date in the diary is that if we are both busy on our set day, then it could be altered. The only proviso being that the punishment must take place during the week in question – or as close to date as possible. The only difference to Michale M’s routine is that I believe it should be weekly because it’s much easier to keep tabs on than once every ten days.

The maintenance punishments would not affect our current regime however. Faults would continue to be punished as they are now so I might be possible to be punished more than once a week and even twice on the same day – if that fault happened to be made on the same day as the maintenance punishment.

Why is this so important to us? I think it will help ease any of the tension we currently experience when I’m going thorough my craving process. I don’t know how to express my feelings to Mistress. Mistress isn’t sure what’s going on in the relationship, whether I’m being a pain because I’m unhappy or because I’m just in need of a good thrashing.

But do I really want the cane ever single week? Probably not but if it results in a much more balance flr then it’s a pain I’m willing to accept.

But the main reason for this post is to learn from you. Before Mistress and I sit down to talk this through, I’m really interested to know if others of you reading this use maintenance punishments as part of your flr – and what kind of methods do you employ to make it effective?

Caned – but not the outstanding debt

I got a dose of the cane at the weekend, for being in bed once Mistress had got up. I stayed laying there once Mistress had jumped out of bed but imagine my surprise when she came back in the bedroom with the thin Dragon.

She pulled back the covers and told me to “lie face down,” and launched an attack on my bottom. Three sets of 10 rapid fire. That woke me up.

She left the room and came back with the thick Dragon and small tawse. I looked over my shoulder to see her wielding the thick cane. I only watched the one stroke. Lovely as she looked, the sheer power of the stroke was too much to watch. I buried my face into the pillow and concentrated on trying not to make a fuss. I think I took about 18. Then came the tawse and the annoying intense sting that the very tip induced. About 18 of those too.

Then she fetched the bath brush for a final flourish of about a doze sold thwacks.

“Now perhaps you’ll make sure you get up before me in future,” she said and went downstairs. I needed no further encouragement.

I was shocked to look in the mirror and see two very deep red cheeks with thick black weals. Shocked because normally even after a severe caning my bottom is usually swollen but a deep shade of pink. Has anyone else noticed a difference in marks between bending with the buttocks taut, to laying flat with the buttocks relaxed?

We talked about the session over breakfast and it was made clear this wasn’t the outstanding punishment I am owed but merely a quick reminder than I’m meant to be first out of bed to hand Mistress her dressing gown before she gets up. “Oh no, that punishment you have coming will be far more severe,” she promised.

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Corrective measures required

Things haven’t got any better since my lost post and I feel like every time I’ve written in recent weeks, I’m just saying the same thing. However, I like to keep my blog updated so, many apologies if I am repeating myself.

It’s been a difficult few weeks for Mistress and I. We’ve been apart for so much in the past month or so and when we’ve been together, invariably one or both of us has been busy.

But on the couple of occasions we have spent what should have been quality time, it has been spoilt by having our minds on other things.

We were out window shopping the other day and both had a mind for what we really wanted to do with the day. I didn’t think either of us communicated our thoughts too well at breakfast and our trip escalated into a real air of tension – something that almost never happens between us.

I have to take the lion’s share of the blame because Mistress wasn’t too worried what we did. I had a more concrete idea but I was my usual indecisive self and didn’t speak up. Instead I began to sulk. That is a big non, no with Mistress.

At one point, as we wandered aimlessly around the town, she looked at me in a really angry way – a look I’d not really seen before - and said; “I wish I had a whip with my right now. You’d get such a thrashing.”
She meant it. And the venom with which she said it shook me. But I’ve still not suffered that thrashing.

It’s a thrashing I thoroughly deserve though because in the past four weeks or so I have become complacent and I have forgotten my place. Even I’ve noticed how argumentative I’ve become, questioning Mistress on a couple of occasions.

My faults have been noted.

It’s not that I do it deliberately but I’ve definitely been ignoring our rules and have begun to get above myself.

Now I feel like a child needing a reminder of how to behave. Or perhaps I’m aware of my fallibility and having some kind of corrective measures available means I can rely on it to keep me on track? Am I too dependent on it? Do I, as one with masochistic desires, happily stray, sub-consciously knowing I have a partner who is more than willing to correct me?

It gets worse. A couple of days ago Mistress asked me to pick something up for her on the way home. I forgot. Another big black mark. And rightly so.

I’ve allowed focussing on work mean not focussing on Mistress and she’s said several times she’s far from happy with my attitude and has said that she intends to do something about it when the time is right.

That’s the trouble with trying to live within this kind of relationship – and carry on with everyday life. Ideally any tiny issue could be resolved in a few moments if there were no outside influences. But instead things drag on and just seem to escalate.

I’m not sure when Mistress will determine when the right time might be to correct all this. I’ve reached a stage where I need it. It shouldn’t be that way. I know, I should just snap out of it. To some degree I have, but I am also very well aware that there have been faults that really do need paying for.  It’s been mulling over and over in my mind for a few days now and only a good thrashing is going to cleanse me.