Sunday, 17 April 2011

The real benefits of a Female Led Relationship

Last night, Mistress and I were discussing our flr regime and how we thought it enriched our relationship.

Do you have conversations like this?

From Mistresses point of view, she hates doing any kind of household chores and would rather being do some else so she’s more than happy to let me get on and look after the menial tasks. Add in the fact that she has a naturally dominant personality and likes nothing better than to be the one in control issuing the orders.

She also has a sadistic streak – in the nicest possible way. Before I introduced her to the idea domestic corporal punishment, she’d take great delight in flicking my nose, pinching the bottom of my ear, tweaking my nipples when we used to horse around. And still does. So when the opportunity arose to put a bit more sting into things, she didn’t take much persuading. But Mistress was also keen to punish me because she knew it was something I wanted, and needed, in my life.

From my point of view I can take pleasure knowing that by serving Mistress she can enjoy herself doing the things she likes, rather than have to worry about the household chores. And my punishments fulfil a lifelong fascination.

But what, beyond these pleasures, are the real benefits to our relationship as a whole?

The first thing we agree on is that there is no opportunity for complacency in our relationship – at least we can’t see any.

My marriage dissolved in a sea of complacency. We drifted apart the point that there was nothing left. And Mistresses marriage ended in similar way.

We both find that this regime means we always focus on each other. I know that’s something loving couples do in any relationship but this flr just sharpens the focus, helped by simple little rules and sanctions that Mistress has implemented along the way. I’m a naturally lazy and selfish person so I need that little extra focus.

And Mistress says the benefit for her – apart from she no longer has to do any of the menial housework she has always despised - is the enjoyment of ensuring I do keep that focus.

We’ve also noticed how intense and intimate our relationship is and while neither of us can really put a finger on why that is – apart from the fact we are madly in love with each other – we have to suspect that it’s something to do with the intensity and intimacy of living this sometimes quite strict d/s lifestyle.

I’m not articulating this very well so I hope you can understand where we coming form on this. Would any of you agree/disagree on what I’ve said so far?

The other thing we’ve noticed is that there is never tension in our home. I can be moody. Well I was. Not anymore. I’ve never seen Mistress sulky or moody in any way and she wasn’t about to allow me to be. She experienced moodiness in a previous relationship and the first time I got sulky I was quickly snapped out if it. And, if I’m honest, that’s done me a world of good not to have the luxury of being a miserable so and so!

When we first started on this path, Mistress came up with three golden rules. We have more now, but the first three remain etched on my mind. They ought to be after learning them was punctuated by copious use of the cane early in our regime!

The rules are simple:

Never say no to Mistress
Never question Mistress
Mistress is always right.

Those three little rules probably amount to the same thing but they have done us proud so far.

There’s no complacency and no tension in our relationship but an large amount of love and respect. We both feel those are the biggest benefits of Mistress being in charge in our house.

I wonder what others of you see as the real benefits of similar lifestyles?


  1. RespectingMistress:

    The benefits you describe sound like what anyone would describe about a very healthy relationship. One thing people who aren't in the lifestyle don't understand is that a man can be happy if things aren't "equal". But at the core, if the man is happy and his partner is happy, that's more than a lot of couples who are together as "equals" can say.

    So right on, dude!

  2. RM - I agree with you that a D/s relationship sharpens the focus. It has made me more attuned to Newport's wants and needs in all areas of our relationship. This dynamic is mutually beneficial, she enjoys having me focus on her and it drives my submission.


  3. SB: Totally agree with you - you summed up my thoughts nicely.

    NS: Thanks for the comment. I too find that the more Mistress demands of me, and the more severe she is in terms of not accpeting any nonsense from me, the more I relish responding in a submissive manner.

  4. You very nicely describe many of the benefits of a female led relationship, if the leader enjoys giving a spanking, and the receiver also enjoys the thought of being spanked, if not the experience quite as much.

  5. I am a submissive male by nature and totally believe in Female Supremacy. I know my life would be simpler if I was being obedient to the right women.

  6. I’m trampled for the blogs writings and also blogs. Welcome to Candle Secure Storage