Sunday, 16 January 2011

How we got here

I’ve read and enjoyed countless spanking, Femdom, FLR, DD blogs but sitting down to write one is a totally new experience. Where to start?

‘At the beginning’ seemed an obvious and predictable answer and at least it puts everything into some kind of perspective.

I’ve been fascinated by all aspects of corporal punishment since I started at junior school but, from what I remember, all my fantasies had me suffering at the hands of a strong-willed woman.

Sadly it wasn’t until I was nearing my 50th birthday, in a new relationship, that I found someone, not only willing to discuss my interests, but only too happy to indulge them.
I had been married for over 25 years but my wife had no interest in my fetish desires – even though early in our courtship I had laid bare my inner secrets and been told that she didn’t have an issue with them, but didn’t want to indulge them early in our relationship. I much later realised that meant ‘never’…..

So I kept my fantasies to myself right until the last few years of our strange relationship.

With my marriage ended I was free to pursue my interests but walked straight into what I thought was a totally ‘normal’ relationship with a wonderful woman.
I saw her as a pleasant, caring and loving person – albeit with a slightly ‘bossy’ side - but told myself the former three qualities were far more important for any long-term happiness than indulging in my fetish fancies.

She had been through an equally long and unfulfilled relationship where her partner did his best to sap every ounce of her self-confidence. But, worried I might not be able to contain my fantasies in the long-term, and not wishing to play her along after the rough time she had already had, I felt it only fair to reveal all before our relationship became cemented.

Over dinner one night at my flat I stumbled through a tale of my desires of being dominated by a female – being punished by a cane-wielding, rubber-clad, thigh-booted dominatrix. I got a blank look. This lovely lady was so naïve about that ‘darker side’ of relationships that she had no idea that people indulged in such ‘games’ and didn’t even fully understand the sexual overtones of the shiny black boots she liked to wear!

But she was a very theatrical person, loved dressing in outlandish clothes anyway – and to my pleasant surprise, instead of dismissing my fantasies, she embraced them fully and we have built the most fantastic relationship where she has without doubt, the potential to become the dominant person in our partnership. I say potential because it’s still very much a developing relationship but we’re both very aware that I unwittingly unlocked a totally untapped dominant side of her nature.

This blog then, is the story of our long road of discovery in our Female Led Relationship.

As we’ve already discovered it’s no easy path and we quickly realised that living out such a life-style is fraught with issues imposed by family, work and even the FLR regime itself.

Until recently we kept a private journal because Mistress and I were exploring some of my lifelong fantasies and we both felt that by writing our experiences would help us understand more about each other and our developing regime.

But in July our FLR took a new direction. What had become apparent to my Mistress was that I was the one who was ‘playing’ at being in an FLR. I was dipping in and out of my submissive role when it suited me and reverting to my more normal selfish, self-centred persona which, understandably, was not only unacceptable, but very confusing for her having embraced the lifestyle with enthusiasm.

After several intense discussions we came to an understanding whereby I no longer have an option to say no to any of Mistresses demands and I must show her absolute respect at all times. We think that now gives us a strong base for a ‘real’ FLR and Mistress made no bones about any failure to live up to her strict code would be result in severe punishment – the like of which I had never previously experience. And I can vouch that she has already lived up to her words!

In writing this blog, we hope like-minded FLR enthusiasts like yourselves can share our experiences, but more important to us, hopefully enrich our lives with your own experiences and comments.

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