But all weekend, in fact since last Thursday, there’s been an air of tension because each time I step ever so slightly out of line, I’m sharply reminded that if I really wanted to be in an FLR, then I wouldn’t need to be told things all the time. And the fact that I need reminding warrants black marks.
This change in mood began on Thursday when I stupidly forgot to call Mistress on her mobile, as we had agreed, at 10am. I remembered at 11.00 and was immediately told by a clearly annoyed Mistress I would receive one cane stroke for every minute delay in making the call.
When Mistress came home that night she was clearly not her usual happy, warm personality. In fact she was very snappy and angry with me – about anything.
This continued on Friday night and all through Saturday. She seemed intent on picking up on my every fault – and insisted on little things like I must stand in front of her going down the elevator and behind her going up – so she was always taller than me (I’m actually 8” taller than her). She insisted on me walking just behind here in the crowds because she was fed up with me just taking off into the distance. She got annoyed when she had to ask for a cup of tea in our hotel room and thought – rightly I’ll admit – I should offer without having to be told.
I kept wondering, is this her playing a game, her actually taking the lead role in the FLR I wanted – or her just fed up and annoyed with this weak male who plays at being submissive? I could live with either of the first two but I was worried she was starting to get fed up with me and my fanciful ideas and it was her way of showing me.
Saturday night when we were cuddled up in bed (she insisted I sleep further down the bed so she could look down on me), I asked why she was so angry with me. ‘I’m not angry,’ she said, ‘I just want to point out what’s expected of you. If I was angry or fed up with our relationship you would soon know,
“You say you want an FLR but I don’t think you’re working hard enough at it. And it’s clear you need guidance so that’s what I’m giving you. If you don’t like it, I’ll stop now but I thought it’s what’s you wanted?’
When I heard that I felt so happy and, with that reassurance, I really enjoyed Sunday – which was in much the same vein as the previous days.
We got home early evening and Mistress insisted on giving me the outstanding 60 strokes of the cane. There’s just the matter of my behaviour over the weekend to discuss.
I’m interested to know, have any others in an FLR gone through this same confusion – not quite knowing which way to take your partner’s reactions of even words?