Saturday, 31 December 2011

FLR highs of 2011

Mistress never ceases to amaze me. She has warmed to our domestic discipline regime in a way a submissive male could only fantasize. Mistress agreed to enter into this lifestyle to please me but has taken it on to much higher levels that I could have hoped for. It’s been an amazingly selfless show of love and trust – which works both ways for us. As a result both sides of relationship – our vanilla one and our flr - continue to blossom and I can see them begining to merge into one.

We’ve had some ups and downs, and even went several weeks without even discussing the subject of our flr with one another but generally we’re both really happy with the way our domestic discipline regime is working out and this year we’ve made some massive strides forward.  Even overcoming that horrible quiet period where neither of us showed any interest was a triumph in itself, and I think we’ve grown immeasurable as a result of it. I simply melt when Mistress exhibits her dominant side and what’s really good is that she now openly admits how much pleasure it gives her to have control over me – and how much she enjoys thrashing me with the cane.  On my side I’ve still got a long way to go before I can truly call myself a submissive male but I’m working towards it and enjoying the experience, though I have to admit that Mistress is becoming ever more efficient with that cane to the point where I no longer encourage her to use it and do my utmost to avoid it.

Serving B’s blog
SB’s blog was an inspiration to me. Our journeys were so similar, which is why I think we connected so well and I always looked forward to ready about his and B’s latest exploits. With their relationship growing ever stronger, they decided to stop blogging so SB could concentrate on serving B. I miss their stories but wish them all the best in their lives together. And if you read this SB, drop me an email to catch up some time!

Quality Control
It’s a while since we bought anything from Quality Control but their canes have had plenty of use in our house so I wanted to say thank you to them for producing such fantastic quality equipment. Their Dragon canes, I swear are the most effective disciplinary tools. And, I speak from experience as we have Dragon canes from other sellers to compare!

Weathervain, London
I’ve always had a fascination for rubber and pvc rainwear and other associated fetish wear but none of it is suitable for outdoors. But this year I treated myself to a brand new rubber raincoat from Weathervain which means I now have at least one item of fetish-style clothing that I can wear in public! And what a joy it is…..

Loving DD’s Boot Camp
Loving DD’s Boot Camp Guide book was one of the fascinating reads of the 2011. Boot camp was something I’d read bits and pieces about in several blogs but there were so many unanswered questions about how the whole regime worked. Having read LDD’s book, I now understand just what an intense programme Boot Camp is for both parties – but also how satisfying it must be to work through.

Spanked by My Lady
Ken and Cora have a fantastic relationship and it’s great just keeping up with their latest activities. They treat their relationship with a lot of fun – stories of checking out paddles in hardware shops had me in stitches – and aren’t afraid if people get a hint of their female dominated relationship. Cora has a wonderful dress sense and seems to have a wicked disciplinary mindset. And Ken and I seem to have a lot in common with the way our submissive nature ebbs and flows – with a deep undercurrent that both of us love to submit to our ladies.

The Discipline Archive
Garrick Espieside’s book is a fascinating account of an experiment where corporal punishment was used to correct young adults in an institution. I love the way the book not only detailed how the system worked, but then interviewed several of the students and the warders for their accounts. It’s a fictional work but is so well thought out you almost want to believe it.

Confessions of a Dominant Woman
Ms Kathleen’s blog is a fascinating read because it gives an insight into the thoughts of a mistress who is in control of a female-led relationship. I’ve only recently discovered it but it’s one of my favourite places on the web.

Kealah’s Corner
Keelah’s blog is probably the most thought-provoking blog about domestic corporal punishment that I’ve read. She’s helped me with advice in the past, not to mention encouragement when I’ve been down and, her writings are another great source of inspiration to me.

Friday, 30 December 2011

Quality flr time

The Christmas break has given Mistress and I some real quality time together and, not surprisingly, a chance to discuss our DD lifestyle in depth.

I managed to annoy Mistress early in Christmas day morning by not getting out of bed quick enough. Mistress was already out of bed and came back in the bedroom with the thin Dragon cane. I received 12 cutting strokes while laying flat on the bed. She reminded me that Christmas or not, normal rules of the house applied and she would be monitoring my behaviour as rigorously as ever.

Personally, I was delighted to be caned on Christmas Day. This very special gift underlined for me just how enthusiastic Mistress has become in her role as Head of House again.

We spent Christmas and Boxing Day with family but Mistress still picked a couple of quiet moments to remind me of minor faults – namely joining in some casual banter aimed at Mistress and failing to offer to do the washing up when we were guests and her parents’ house.

The next day we were heading for a few days at the coast and I was lucky to avoid the cane - again I’d not jumped out of bed quick enough for Mistresses liking. I was sat with my legs over the side of the bed,

rubbing my eyes. But technically I was not out of bed and Mistress was a little annoyed I didn’t move faster after my correction only two days earlier. To be honest, I was surprised I got away with it. I mentioned this in the car and Mistress said that I should not worry, everything was being logged and I would be ‘sorted out properly on New Year’s Eve.’

All week, Mistress has kept me on my toes. She has picked me up on issues, each time simply saying, ‘and that’s another 12.’

Probably my most stupid faux pas was to keep taking photos of Mistress after she had asked me to stop. We were in a ‘playful’ mood so I clicked away. She stopped me on the beach and, despite being among crowds of walkers, said, ‘when we get home and I’m caning you, and you are begging me to stop, I will simply carry on, just like you do when I ask you to stop. And we’ll see how you like being ignored. You really are going to suffer.’

With that, we walked on, along the beach – me in my rubber raincoat, Mistress in her pvc mackintosh, both of us in wellies by the way (!) - as if nothing had happened. Except my stomach was churning at the thought of what was now becoming a serious situation – but one I had only myself to blame for.

But even worse was failing to pleasure Mistress while we were away. My rather over-exited selfishness led to a premature end to several encounters shall we say, which, in turn led to Mistress not only being very disgusted by my lack of self control, but also to discussing methods of preventing this happening in future.

The worst option discussed was supervised milking to reduce my pent up sexual excitement which Mistress hopes will then allow me to concentrate more on her needs than trying to stop myself from coming too early.
We have discussed this in the past – at my suggestion – and Mistress dismissed the idea but it seems that after this past week she’s keen to give it a try.

But what worried me more than the humiliation of either being milked or milking myself in front of Mistress was discussing whether the milking should be carried out prior to punishment. We have read that, properly supervised, the milking is anything but pleasurable and its effect is to increase the psychological pain of the punishment.

Needless to say, we would be very interested to hear from any of you who have experience of milking as part of your flr regime.

Saturday, 24 December 2011

Christmas Eve caning

As Mistress and I cuddled up in bed last Thursday evening, I felt it only my duty to say something.
‘Mistress, we’ve…we’ve overlooked the maintenance punishment this evening.’

Mistress gave me one of her looks. ‘I’ve overlooked nothing. You will have your maintenance punishment when I decide. I realised we would be too busy tonight so we’ll deal with it another evening. I think Saturday evening will be perfect. We’ll have plenty of time then, won’t we?’

Christmas Eve? ‘Yes Mistress. Of course.’

I hadn’t been looking forward to Thursday at all. My bottom was still quite sore and bruised from the previous punishment and I’d ‘earned’ d the promise of 10 extra on top of the scheduled 36. It was my own fault entirely. I’d been rushing for work on Tuesday morning and was just getting in the car, when Mistress shouted at me that the bin needed to be put out. The ‘oh for goodness sake,’ wasn’t muttered under my breath quietly enough.

Mistress called me into the house and told me in no uncertain manner that my dissent had earned me ten extra strokes at my next punishment session. I think I got off lightly.

So when we went to bed on Friday night, Mistress casually reminded me that I was to be caned on Saturday at 6.00pm – 36 strokes plus the ten. At least I’d had a couple extra days for the bruising to go…..

We had a great Saturday, catching up on a few last minute shopping bits which meant lunch out in one of the better cafés in the town. But the thought of my caning was never far from my mind. We spent ages in one of the quiet corners just idly chatting about nothing in particular, indulging a bit of people watching, when  Mistress snuggled closer and whispered, ‘when we get home I want you to get changed into something suitable for serving Mistress. Then you will prepare the evening meal.

Mistress meant a maid’s outfit we had bought way back when we used to just play some CP games; a very unstylish black overall which reached just below my knees, baggy bloomers which reached just above my knees, mop cap – all in shiny black pvc, edged in white lace - plus some very plain court shoes. It’s an outfit I feel ridiculous wearing, but Mistress knows this and always makes me wear for those prolonged sessions of household chores.

Once home I changed and reported to Mistress who was watching TV in the lounge. She set me to work preparing the meal. Once that was done I reported back to the lounge. And then I went over the bench, Mistress fastened my wrists and then pulled down my bloomers to apply 24 strokes of the cane to my bare bottom. As this was maintenance, Mistress only used the thin Dragon.

I then dished up the meal, ate with Mistress and then washed the dishes.

Job done I was then told to go and finish all the christmas wrapping I had failed to complete during the evening of my previous punishment. I forgot the wrapping paper for the children’s presents and Mistress, without me realsing, kindly brought it upstairs to the spare room where I was working.

I’d decided to wrap Mistresses presents first so when I heard her coming upstairs and I shouted at her to not come in the room. I greeted her at the door and snatched the paper from her. I got a very icey stare and Mistress went back down stairs.

Seconds later I heard, ‘You had better come down here – this instant.’

I knew what to expect. But the image before made my tummy churn. Mistress was stood in the middle of the room flexing the cane. ‘How dare you raise your voice to me,’ she said in a calm but very stern voice and, using the flimsy cane as a pointer, added, ‘get over the bench.’

I got 12 strokes, rapid strokes and Mistress wasn’t sparing me. The strokes came so fast I never had time to count them. I was gasping air and it was only once the twelfth one had struck that I let out a long, agonised grunt.

‘Stand up. What do you have to say for yourself?’

I thanked Mistress from the correction and apologised profusely. Mistress said, ‘I should think so,’ and waved me away.

Once I’d wrapped all the presents I reported back to the lounge and stood to attention. Mistress asked me what I was going to do now and I stupidly pointed out there was still 12 maintenance strokes and 10 extras to come.

‘You’re not topping from the bottom here are you? I will decide when you are punished. Now go and tidy the kitchen ready for tomorrow. I will come and inspect it when you are finished.’

I worked diligently, putting everything in it’s place, polishing work surfaces, washing the floor. No matter how much I enjoy the fantasy of being caned, the reality of any more than the 22 I had coming just did not appeal so I wanted to give no excuses for any more extras.

Thankfully my labours earned me no more but I still took the 22 I had owing. Mistress decided to apply them while I was lying face down on the bed. I swear the downward swing of the cane gave her much more ferocity. With no restrains to help me, I was grasping the bedsheets with all my strength to try and maintain position.

After punishment, Mistress allowed me to watch TV with her but then sent me to complete this blog update. We’re visiting friends and family during next week but Mistress has just told me my next maintenance punishment will not take place on Thursday but will be postponed to New Year’s Eve. You can sure I’ll be on my best behaviour so I don’t incur any extras in future.

In closing, I’d just like to thank everyone who takes time to read this blog. I thank you for your interest and support. And I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year.

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Re-acquainted with the cane

Our domestic discipline regime resumed at the weekend but I couldn’t have dreamed what I was letting myself in for when I wrote Mistress a note, asking if we could return to our old ways.

It’s been about two months since I refused a weekly maintenance session and, as I detailed in my last post, we had reverted to a totally vanilla lifestyle. We both were getting on fabulously – as always - but I felt I was slowly slipping back into my old lazy ways and even started to question Mistress on a couple of matters in the house, namely her untidy ways.
Normally I’d just clear up behind her and get on with things but the mess began to irk me and I said as much. And I didn’t clear things up half as quickly as I normally would. So I was disrespectful and lazy.

I wondered whether this was my way of bratting to stir Mistress into reintroducing the regime. But I thought about it and realized, I was just being downright unreasonable and stroppy.

As any of you living an flr lifestyle will know, that kind of behaviour was worthy of a thrashing but, with no regime in place, Mistress let it ride – and if anything became a little upset. I was knocking her confidence.

I think both of us were in place where neither knew how to progress. I really wanted Mistress to take the lead and reintroduce our regime. But I felt any suggestion to her – after my awful behaviour in refusing the weekly session all those weeks ago – would seem like me topping from the bottom, as I used to.

I think Mistress felt let down by my behaviour in the first place but didn’t want to suggest we pick up where we left off and risk the rejection a second time.

But some ten days ago, over a coffee, we were having a minor debate about some political issue when Mistress suddenly said, ‘don’t ague with me. I think what you need is some corporal punishment.’

I agreed but little more was discussed and when the subject wasn’t raised for a few days I decided to write Mistress a note, just before I embarked on an overnight business trip:

My darling Mistress,

You were so right yesterday in your assumption that I ‘need some corporal punishment.’ What I think we both need, as part of our relationship, is the domestic discipline regime we had in place – if anything, with much stricter rules in place.

You always seem happiest when you are in charge. You don’t appear to enjoy doing menial chores around the house. And you seem to enjoy the attention that is afforded you under our regime.

I’m happiest when you show you dominant side and, while I don’t like the menial tasks any more than you, I’m happy doing them if I feel it makes you happy. I also feel that our relationship in general is more intense and loving when you are in your more dominant mood.

I know it was my fault our regime came to a grinding halt and for that I am sorry, especially as you put some much effort into making it right.  Sadly, I think my submissive instincts will always be tested and I will waiver from time to time, but I think we are better to pursue them rather than give up on them. I also think that perhaps if, in such moments of my weakness, if we could rely heavier on more emphasis of your dominant side it would carry us through.

One thing that’s clear is that strict use of the cane has been a most effective means of reminding of my place – as well as correcting my faults. I therefore humbly ask if we could revert to the DD regime we had in place but also examine how to improve it and, not only avoid a repetition of my bad behaviour that brought us to this situation, also look at how best to correct some of my many faults. And, as part of that regime, do you feel it would help if we re-introduced our weekly maintenance punishment session?

With love


On Friday Mistress told me I was going to be caned on Sunday. I didn’t argue. All day Saturday she was a very different person to the easy-going one I’d known for the past two months. 

She just had an air of authority about her that put me on my guard. None of my flippancy was accepted. I was told to do things rather than asked. Not only was I set tasks, I was told what time they had to started and what time they had to be completed. And throughout the day she made references to my impending punishment.

Finally, when we lie in bed on Saturday evening she calmly told me I was going to get 60 strokes of the cane in my first session during the afternoon to remind me of our flr rules. Furthermore I was set a task of wrapping all the family christmas presents between 7.00pm and 8.00pm. Failure to do complete the task would result in punishment – and furthermore, I would subsequently punished for my faults during the period we had not adhered to the regime.

I slept uneasily. It’s that strange confusion I have about this whole flr lifestyle. I absolutely lust after serving Mistress and, as I’ve said before, there are times when I desperately need to feel the cane. But I found our flr a challenge, not only the weekly punishments, the pampering to Mistress 24/7. I love her dearly but there are times when I just wanted to flop into a chair and do nothing. I know that’s wrong and maybe I’m not the submissive I fantasise about being. Do others have these feelings? I know Mistress won’t be so lenient this time about and the weekly punishments will return.

But, at the same time, I also knew that our relationship was missing something without our flr. I think I knew we both preferred it in place, rather that being without it.

There was an uneasy atmosphere all Sunday morning between us as we went about some Christmas shopping. We both knew was coming but little was mentioned – apart from the fact that Mistress reminded me several times that I’d be ‘getting changed’ once we got home. 

She was true to her word. When we got indoors I was sent to get changed – punishment bloomers, raincoat, high heels - and set out the equipment – bench, restraints, canes.
Mistress got changed too – unusual in recent times for punishment sessions. She slipped into a black pvc catsuit and high heels and looked sensational.

There was no discussion beforehand. I was ordered to remove my raincoat, then get over the bench.

The 60 stroke punishment was pure agony. Five batches of 12, five different canes. All of them stung like hell and I didn’t take them too well. I’m not the bravest at the best of times but certainly, my two months off meant I’d softened up some.

Mistress wasn’t impressed and called me a wimp. She told me only the last 12 had been anything like full force. I was deflated. She released me and told me to prepare the meal.
During the cooking I asked permission to ask a pertinent question. Permission was granted.
‘The period leading up to a caning you always seem to become very authoritarian towards me to the point of bitchiness. Do you take on that persona because I originally asked you to do this and you don’t actually enjoy it? Or are you actually enjoying the role of ordering me around?’

‘It’s because you have faults that annoy me and require correction. And yes, I enjoy caning you under those circumstances.’

I suppose I asked the question because I needed to know once and for all if Mistress really did enjoy this kind of regime or if she was simply doing it to please me.  I can’t tell you how overjoyed I was at her response. But I’m sure some dominant ladies will baulk at my impertinence of asking!

As we ate the meal there was an eerie atmosphere. Both of us were looking at each other but little was said.  I remarked how the cane can instil a very different atmosphere into a relationship. Mistress reminded me we were far from finished.

I washed the dishes and about half an hour after the meal Mistress pointed out that the 8.00pm curfew was already upon us and I’d not even started on the presents. She said that I’d wasted so much time earlier in the day so I was clearly at fault by not considering my task earlier.

As a result, I would therefore receive 24 strokes of the cane. On top of my already swollen bottom it was hard to take - especially now as Mistress has rediscovered all her old venom in applying the rod.

I was then sent to complete my task – but told to think about my faults and report back to Mistress on completion of my task at 9.30pm.

As precisely 9.30pm I stood in front of Mistress again.

‘So you’ve come for more punishment then?’

I gulped. I had hoped I’d be let off but Mistress was in a determined mood and was showing me no mercy.

‘Yes Mistress. I had committed many faults during the last few weeks but the one I think I deserve punishment for most is being disrespectful towards you and moaning about the mess in the house.’

Mistress gave me a steely stare and cast her eyes towards the bench in the middle of the room.

‘Back over it. Now.’

I got another 24 strokes. After being released from the bench I was told to kneel at Mistress’ feet.

‘I think you now know what to expect if you step out of line again. We will resume the regime that you said you wanted  and you will receive a weekly maintenance caning every Thursday, as before. Starting this coming Thursday. Now get everything cleared away and get to bed.’

I can’t even begin to put into words how good it felt  to have Mistress back in charge again.

Friday, 9 December 2011

DD lifestyle on hold

I have to apologise for not updating our blog since late October, but I’ve felt there was little to say and I didn’t have the interest to even turn on my home PC, let alone keep our blog updated.

Our DD lifestyle had become strict and intense and we had been discussing a plan to run a boot camp weekend – just to enforce our regime even further.

I certainly believe both of us were benefiting the weekly maintenance punishments - the caning sessions of 36 strokes every Thursday were highly effective. I was better behaved, more respectful and responsive to Mistress while Mistress enjoyed the benefits of me working hard to please her. And, if we’re honest, she also enjoyed exercising her power over me and delighted in applying the cane with some vigour.

But also being totally honest, I had two contrasting thoughts on these punishments. On the one hand I enjoyed the submission and the closeness punishment brought but, I often drove home thinking, oh no, it’s the cane tonight. That thin Dragon cane really has a horrible bite and no matter how many times I’ve had it, I still struggled to soak up its painful application – especially as Mistress was getting more and more effective with it!

For someone with a life-long desire to experience corporal punishment, you would think that being able to experience it on weekly basis should be like manna from heaven. It wasn’t that I totally hated it. I didn’t even fear it because I knew I could get through it – at a struggle. And while it was always challenging, it wasn’t ever in my mind that we should stop.

But one particular Thursday I was driving home feeling a little under the weather and really could not face my weekly 36 strokes. When I got in the house I explained to Mistress I wasn’t feeling great and asked to forgo the punishment.

Mistress wasn’t happy about this, enquiring exactly what was wrong with me. She clearly wasn’t convinced by my whining and after we had ate dinner, she said something to the effect of ‘if you can eat dinner, you can’t be too ill so I think you should be caned. I’m only applying to rules you wanted us to live by.’

Obviously I should have gone to fetch the cane but I argued my case at which point Mistress shrugged her shoulders and went into the living room to watch TV, leaving me to do the washing up etc.

Nothing more was said on the subject that night. I apologised the next morning and felt really bad that I’d let Mistress down – and myself. Mistress was annoyed and showed her disappointment in me.

But life carried on as usual. Except when the following Thursday arrived, punishment wasn’t mentioned. I figured this was my punishment. I was wrong because we’ve not really discussed our DD lifestyle since - until the past week.

Apart from my appalling behaviour, the under current to this tale of woe is that both of us have been absolutely focussed on work – both working evenings as well as daytimes – so there’s actually been no time to asses and discuss our DD lifestyle. Plus I did go through a spell of a week where I really was ill.

Living a DD lifestyle, we’ve both learned is hard work on top of all the normal everyday things that get thrown at you, but I guess that’s why it’s so fulfilling – when one plays to the rules. And so desperately disappointing when one doesn’t.

Our relationship through all this has been absolutely perfect – we’re both happy and love each other to bits. It’s just the DD side of things has disappeared and I reached the point, where I couldn’t face looking at the blog, let alone updating it, or even surfing around to see what others were up to.

But last weekend I  began to realise that I was missing the the focus that our disciplinary regime gave me  so I tentatively broached the subject and asked Mistress if she thought our relationship was better or worse without DD and she replied that it was perfect either way.

I have to admit I was disappointed with her response. I was hoping she would say it was worse without DD – but she was right. We had been having a fabulous time together. And I had no right to disappointment since it was me who messed up in the first place.

However, my comments obviously struck a chord because since that brief discussion, there’s been a few little quips coming my way about things she’s not happy with in my behaviour or performance with the house chores. You know the score, almost nit-picking every tiny thing you should or should not have done. I don’t mind at all because it needs saying but I think she’s working her way around to a punishment session.

If, or when, the moment comes I’ll be happy to fetch the cane and take the thrashing that’s coming to me. I could now do with the hiatus to end and get back to the strict discipline regime we had in the house.

I probably sound like an overgrown child but I’d reached a point where I was happy in the knowledge of where the boundaries where and what was expected of me and the weekly punishment helped continually reinforce the message.

There are definitely areas I know I am lacking, and one area in particular I need some help (to curb my spending habits!), and we found in the past that a stiff dose of the cane goes a long way to improving my attitude and will power.

Mistress comes back from a night out with her girl friends tomorrow.  I’m hoping she’s of a mindset to discuss the reintroduction of strict domestic discipline into our relationship. I miss it.

Friday, 21 October 2011

The benefits of Boot Camp?

The latest post on the interesting Learning Domestic Discipline blog concerns ‘Domestic Discipline Boot Camp Basics.’

The aim of the Boot Camp, according to LDD is “an intense, multi-day experience an actively practicing Domestic Discipline couple goes through in order to set more defined roles in both partners within a marriage/household, as well as set crystal clear expectations of both partners within a marriage/household.”

LDD also explains the need for a ‘Boot Camp’ and says: ‘it is intended to help the husband (or head of the household) be more consistent with discipline, and is also intended to help the wife become more respectful of the rules set forth by the husband (or head of the household).  In addition, boot camp is intended to correct behaviors and shape how Domestic Discipline will be done in the future within the household.  Boot camp also includes a set of homework assignments intended to strengthen and nourish the foundation of the marriage, and enhance the communication between husband and wife.”

I can see the benefit of this kind of regime and it’s something Mistress and I have indulged in from time to time over a brief two-day period to get our flr back on track. However, I can also see that a much longer period of Boot Camp might have a much longer-lasting effect on the minds of both parties and, if I’m honest, an extended period of ‘Boot Camp’ is something we might consider.

The reason I say this is because both of us have been very busy and have had very little time together with the result that while our flr has not exactly been put on hold, it has become inconsistent. How many of you out there go through this similar kind of unheavel – and then work hard on your flr to get that back on track the minute you get some quality time together?

What normally happens in our relationship is that when we have some time together, Mistress becomes very authoritative and I strive hard to get back in line. It’s normally an intense couple of days where every fault is picked up on and corrected.

LDD has only explained basics in the blog and promises there will be a book published, covering Boot Camp ideals but Mistress and I have talked about the benefits of a longer-term Boot Camp.

We’re wondering if a sustained Boot Camp would actually help both of us focus with more consistency in our FLR. After Mistress caned me tonight she said that it’s sometimes really hard for her to pick up the focus of ‘us’ when so many other things are happening. I feel exactly the same.

So can Boot Camp help?

According to LDD: “Each day of boot camp is structured with different tasks which include the four daily spanking sessions and the four daily homework assignments.  During the time in boot camp, and ideally in everyday life, the HOH is completely in charge.  Boot camp has a "no tolerance" type of policy, and the HOH should punish instantly when there is any sort of defiance from the wife.  Not only does this teach the wife to respect her husband (or in our case the sub male respect Mistress) and the rules of the home, but it also teaches the HOH that he (or she) MUST be consistent with the rules and punishments, otherwise the marriage (or relationship) will suffer in the long run.  Again, everything in boot camp is done for a reason, and with long term overall benefits.”

Boot Camp would be an extremely strict period of several days in which every rule in the house is adhered to. There would be absolutely ‘no tolerance’ and the policy would cover every single aspect of the relationship. Any rule-breaking would be punished immediately and severely – much more severely than usual.

If Mistress and I adopted the idea of Boot Camp, I think it would have to be over five to seven days and accentuate every single rule we have, plus introduce a lot more.

LDD suggest four spankings per day which seems excessive over a seven day period but then we’re talking about an extreme and intense regime.

I tried to research other Boot Camp regimes but found little really tangible advice that would be applicable to a real relationship, but Mistress has charged me with delivering her a five or seven day plan to explain how Boot Camp could be structured and what benefits she might expect to see from the experience.

If anyone out there has any valid suggestions or experience we can draw from we’d love to hear from you.

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Missed maintenance canings

After missing two Thursday punishments on the trot, purely through outside commitments Mistress got her caning arm back in full swing this week.

Sunday morning we were just about to go out for a walk when Mistress ordered me to fetch the cane.
Fetching the cane now invariably means the thin Dragon, our regular maintenance punishment implement. I got 12 for backchat late during the previous evening. This was no ordinary caning. For the first time I was well aware of the whistle of the cane before each impact – suggesting to me that Mistress was laying it on very hard. Normally I’m not really aware of the whoosh – just the pain. But this 12 were real stingers.

I was warned that wasn’t the last I was going to feel of the cane during the day and off we went for our walk, hand in hand down the road like nothing had ever happened.

Mistress kept me waiting all day and just when I thought I’d escaped, I was reminded at 10.00pm that I was still owed was last Thursday’s maintenance punishment. I duly received that and the strokes were delivered just as hard as earlier in the day.

But Mistress hadn’t finished and she decided that not bringing her a cup of tea, me huffing and puffing when she took me to task over the matter and leaving the toilet seat up deserved even further correction so I had to endure another 12 or so of the three-tailed tawse before bedtime.

Today, being Thursday and our official maintenance punishment day, I got another 36 - on top of the marks that had still not faded from Sunday.

To be frank, this was no where near the intensity of Sunday’s session. Yes it hurt, but I could tell Mistress wasn’t laying it on and she later admitted, she thought I’d already had a good thrashing so was being a bit lenient.

Saturday, 15 October 2011

Our flr in public

I think we reached something of a defining moment in our FLR recently.

Mistress and I were in a coffee shop for lunch,. Mistress picked out a tuno mayo roll and pointed to a flapjack. She also asked me to get her an elderflower flavoured drink and then walked off to find a table, leaving me to order the food and drinks and pay. I bought myself a cheese and tomato roll, fresh cream scone and black coffee.

I took the food and drinks to the table and laid everything out and then sat down to eat. Mistress, though just stared at her roll then said in the most haughty voice: “Did you get me a knife to cut this roll?”

“I didn’t see any,” came my response between chewing on my food.

“That’s ridiculous, they must have knives. They didn’t have any? I don’t believe you.”

And with that Mistress got up and went in search of a knife.

She came back in seconds,brandishing a knife and said, “I cannot believe you could have imagined that a café would not have a knife to cut food. Did you even ask?”

Mistress was talking loud enough for everyone in the small café to hear and, I felt mself h with embarrassment.

“Well did you?”


“No what?”

I looked at her and saw, ‘the look’. “No Mistress,” I said in the quietest voice possible, hoping no one would hear my submissive response – but also hoping Mistress would quell her strident tones.

“And where is my chocolate cake,” she continued raising her voice even louder.

“Chocolate cake? You said you wanted flapjack.”

“I did not,” she replied indignantly. “I pointed to the flapjack thinking you might like it. I asked for chocolate cake.”

It simply wasn’t true. I hadn’t misheard her. By now I wasn’t just embarrassed, I was getting angry and boiling inside. I was ready to just walk out of the café and leave this stroppy woman in the café.

I would have done just that in my former life and probably sulked for several days. But instead I sat there, not touching my own food, red in the face and wondering what had happened. We had been enjoying a great day out, just wandering around the shops. I told myself to calm down and picked up my food and began to eat. By now Mistress had finished hers, and pushed the plate to one side.

“Right, now you can go and get me some chocolate cake and a pot of tea. Now!”

This wasn’t a polite request. This was an order and suddenly, the penny dropped. She wasn’t at all angry or being awkward, she was playing out a role we normally reserve for the privacy of our own home.

My emotions went from anger and embarrassment to a flutter in my stomach and a twinge further down. It was a rather exciting moment to realise what was going on.

I set my food aside again and meekly went to order her cake and tea. I came back with it on a tray and stood at the table.

“Your afternoon tea Mistress,” I said, this time loud enough for others to hear.

“That’s better,” Mistress said, barely acknowledging my presence. “You can sit down down now.”

We didn’t discuss the incident there, but in the car on the way home I asked Mistress what happened in the coffee shop.

“It was a little test,” she said. “I wanted to see how you would react.” And then she changed the subject.
I must say I had been surprised how Mistress suddenly switched from enjoying the shopping trip to being so stern but that’s her prerogative and, if it happens again, I’ll be ready for it. I’m certainly delighted if she’s happy to make our flr a little more public.

If it was a test I’d have like to know how I performed. I know you better behaved subs out there and experienced dominant ladies will rightly criticise me for even allowing myself to become angry in the first place – and point out that I should be ready and willing to serve at any time -  but I was caught by the changed in mood. Once I allowed the authority of Mistress wash over me it was quite a delightful experience and I enjoyed acting the role of ‘maid’, taking her tea and cake to the table.

I wonder if anyone in the coffee shop realised the dynamic of our relationship or just shrugged their shoulders and said, ‘guess who wears the trousers in that household.’

Or maybe there was a couple in there with a knowing smile on their faces thinking, ‘I wonder how she’ll punish him when she gets him home….’

Thursday, 29 September 2011

Birching punishment

Tonight’s maintenance punishment took on a new direction. Mistress adhered to the 36 strokes but gave one of the birches I’d made an airing and used one of the thicker hazel switches separately.

After a recent discussion about the birch, I’d harvested some hazel twigs from some woods when I was out in the car recently. I bound two ‘birch’ rods, one with three twigs which was also the longest at just over 36”, another with four. Both of them with quite thin, whippy rods about a third of the thickness of our thinnest cane. This was around 30 inches. And there was one thicker twig, about the same length as our thinnest Dragon cane, which I left over to use as a switch.

Mistress was eager to give them a try and started with the bundle of four rods. Being thin rods, it was very stingy but not overly painful. Then Mistress used the switch, which again was stingy.

Mistress admitted later she’d not applied the four rods with any real venom because the tips were breaking off.  And she had only used any real force with the last six of the switch.
But then she applied the Dragon cane with her usual ferocity and my word could I tell the difference.
Normally I think of the Dragon as being a real stinging, biting, nasty weapon that leaves along lasting burning sensation for quite a time after having 36. But tonight I felt just how much of a thud it packs too, compared to the stingy little switch.

So as far as punishment tonight, we both felt it was overly lenient and I’ve got a feeling Mistress might apply more of the Dragon cane tomorrow night. The reason being that this wasn’t just about a maintenance session tonight. We had an issue on Tuesday night with me getting a little bit agitated over a trivial matter but I did raise my voice and, obviously, that is against the rules in the house.

Mistress said that she didn’t think I’d learned anything from tonight’s session – but it was definitely necessary. I think she was right on both counts but I’ll happily bend over for what I deserve tomorrow.

As far as the birch is concerned, I think it’s something we’ll revisit but using heavier weight (thicker) twigs and  paying more attention to the whole ritual that surrounds” application of the rod.”

Monday, 26 September 2011

Judicial caning

When, I wonder, did the penchant for judicial-style caning become popular among aficionados of consensual corporal punishment among adults?

I use the word style because a real judicial caning, similar to those barbaric practices used in Singapore, would not normally have any place in a DD environment.

However, judicial punishment, to me, means a pre-arranged session with a with a heavy cane, delivered full force and absolutely no escape from the set number of strokes – usually no less than 24 and usually a lot, lot more. And, I’d argue, there’s no reason why that shouldn’t be the case in a DD environment.

But going back to my initial question, is it just me, or are people looking for a greater degree of severity in domestic discipline as everything we do these days requires just that little extra edge of extremity?

I’ve always been fascinated by the history of judicial corporal punishment but I remember when I first began exploring the subject of consensual corporal punishment, most people were content with six of the best with the school cane or maybe 12 or 18 - and 24 was considered extreme. Or so it seemed from the places I was looking!

But now it seems that some domestic punishments, while not the same severity as a Singapore caning, are pretty extreme. Our own regime calls for 36 strokes of the Dragon cane once a week as maintenance but I’ve suffered much more than that in the past.

Is it a case of the more of the cane you have, the more you need to create an effect? Personally I don’t think that’s the case. My 36 never get any easier – and, as I blogged recently, a dose of 12 the other evening really took me to the edge. I was literally wimpering at the end and glad it wasn’t 36.

Others might argue that regular punishment is a bad thing and one’s senses do become dulled so only more severity has an effect.

But if you look at some of the home videos posted on places like Spanking Tube, there’s no lack of severe correction going on.

The other thing I’ve noticed is the shift towards judicial punishments among those who pay to be caned. Before my relationship with Mistress I used to visit professional disciplinarians and those who dealt in ‘Judicial Punishment’ were few and far between. A casual look around the websites now reveals that virtually every disciplinarian is offering ‘Judicials’ – at least in name. The only conclusion I draw from that is that it’s something more and more people are keen to experience.

Personally I’ve always thought that if you intend using corporal punishment as a means of domestic discipline, then any application of punishment means the recipient has to suffer for it to have any effect.

And if you aim to use a greater degree of severity, that introduced a fear factor into the punishment session which I think a lot of us get off on - rather than the actual pain and suffering of the punishment itself.

Perhaps others agree, which could explain why severe judicial-style corporal punishment is freely practiced in homes these days.

Thursday, 22 September 2011

The Birch

Does anyone use a birch rod as an instrument of correction as part of their domestic discipline regime?

I ask because it’s something Mistress and I discussed a while back and we recently harvested some twigs to fashion into a birch. I've tried tying them into birch rods - one with three twigs, one with four but also left a couple spare to use like a swtich - but the finished birches look a pretty amatuerish. So I just wondered if anyone has done this and created an effective product.

The term birch rod is a misnomer since it is not a single rod but a collection of twigs – not necessarily from the birch tree. Ours are from a hazel bush. The Isle of Man authorities used hazel to make birches to use in their judicial punishments.

The birch rod of course employs a special place in British corporal punishment history. The Isle of Man used birching right through the 1970s and the birch, as well as the cat-o-nine-tails, was used in British prisons.

The judicial birch was three or four rods bound together. According to Wikipedia the severity of the birch rod was determined by its length, weight and number of twigs. In Dartmoor Prison, for example, prisoners over 16 years old were subjected to a ‘senior birch, which weight 16 ounces and was 48 in length.

The birch was also used in schools, most famously at Eton where they used what is known as the ‘spray birch’ – a much bushier collection of smaller twigs.

Birching apparently took place all over Europe up to the 19th century when caning started to become a more popular method of corporal punishment.

Domestic discipline continues

There’s no let up in the discipline in our home just lately. Last night we were both lounging after a long day when Mistress suddenly remembered she had left some things in her car.

It was around 10.00pm and she asked me to fetch them. I stupidly made some kind of facial expression that was the equivalent to huffing and puffing and Mistress said, ‘Get the things in now then go and then fetch the cane.

I didn’t argue. I knew I’d done wrong and deserved what ever was coming.

I got 12 blistering strokes and was mightily glad Mistress stopped there because she seemed to be hitting me a lot harder than normal.

After I’d put the cane back in the wardrobe Mistress asked me, “what have you learned?”

I said that I should just get on and do things without question or comment.

Once we had settled back down and started talking about our current regime, I asked Mistress if she got any pleasure out of caning me and she said, “Only when I think you need it. I’m certainly not going to tolerate any kind of dissent that you showed tonight.”

I'm sure there will be plenty of readers who will agree with that sentiment.

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

SBR raincoat in public

Recent bad weather has given me plenty of opportunity to wear my favourite rubber raincoat.

I bought it last winter but it’s only recently I’ve felt confident enough to wear it out and about and spent four days on the trot wearing it while on holiday. Some holiday, it rained every day but at least I had my rubber raincoat with me, which gave me something to smile about. 

I know that sounds ridiculous but I also know there is still a stigma attached to rubber raincoats and would – even now – be embarrassed to meet a work colleague or friend wearing my rubber coat.

So I only wear it if I’m away from my own locality – which is a shame because I do get satisfaction from wearing it.

As I’ve said before, I’m a lifelong rubber and PVC raincoat fetishist. But while I wear my rubber raincoat in public there’s no sense of sexual excitement for me. There is a thrill however, but I’m not sure how to explain what it is.

I do get a buzz when I notice people doing a double take when I’m out and about. And people do look – no question. But it’s mainly men, though I did spot a couple fo women taking a second glance....

I suppose the buzz is me wondering what they are thinking. It could be ‘weirdo’, it could be ‘who does he think he is dressed like that?’ It could even be, ‘wow, a rubber raincoat, not seen one of those in a long time.’ My biggest thrill would be another enthusiast stopping me to ask where I bought it.

I’ve not been able to analyse why I like this raincoat so much. It’s not extremely shiny like some of the old Weather Or Not mackintoshes. It’s not strong on style – not in the same vogue as an old trenchcoat.

I think what I really enjoy about it is being aware that you are wearing it. The material is quite stiff and heavy – unlike my really old soft Weather Or Not SBR trenchcoat. Neither is it slocky like some mackintoshes – though it does creak and rustle.

It’s also the way it hangs off the shoulders that makes you constantly aware of it.

The one disappointment is that there is no strong rubber odour like my Weather Or Not raincoat. All the pleasurable smells are taken out in modern rubber gear so it means us fetishists feel a little cheated. I wonder what it must have been like in the old days when lots of people wore rubber raincoats. The odour when several of them gathered in a shop for example, must have been quite something.

However it does have a slightly sweet sickly smell, mainly of silicon polish I use so now my senses are tuned that that pleasure recognition and even out and about I’m constantly reminded of it when I’m wearing the mackintosh – so others near must also be able to smell it.

What is very different for me it that the raincoat will always look ‘new’. Unless it gets damaged, he smooth surface will always have the same dull sheen. Now I know that’s an obvious statement but normally I hate wearing anything that looks ‘brand new.’ Even when I was a kid at school I hate new shoes and had to scuff the toes deliberately to take the edge off the new-ness. Now for the first time in my life, I derive pleasure from going out in public wearing a raincoat that has a definite sheen to it – and what’s more, it only feels right wearing it with polished black shoes.

It actually doesn’t feel right at all. I’m very conscious of wearing it every second I have it on but I still love it to bits.

I love the way the material ripples as I bend my arm and the way, the stiff double layer of rubber feels as I slide my hand into the pocket.

The material is very heavy and it seems that no matter the temperature, it’s always going to feel quite stiff whereas my Weather Or Not mackintosh is really quite supple.

When I bought this raincoat I wanted something that looked relatively modern in style because the aim always was to wear it in public – where all my other mackintoshes are purely for indoors where I can comfortable wear all kinds of belted and buckled trenchcoats.

This raincoat is actually styles on a design Weather Vain produced for Burberry. It’s short, just below the knee, single breasted and is very much bespoke – hence the £375 price tag.

I opted for exposed buttons rather than a fly front style to break up the smooth panels of rubber.

The collar is short and pointed and now I’ve worn this raincoat in public for several days on the trot, I think anyone could get away with wearing something like this is their daily commute around the city. The style is thoroughly modern. But the material makes it stand out.

The irony is that sat typing this, I’m already thinking that if I was going to buy another raincoat from Weather Vain, one that I would wear in public, it would have to be a traditional trenchcoat style – double breasted, epaulettes, belted waist and sleeves so then I’d really stand out in the crowd.

Having said that, I still need to wear this raincoat a lot more to gain confidence.  I’m still very self conscious wearing it and each time I walk past a group of people and hear a snigger, I wonder if I turned back they would be pointing and laughing at the old man in the mackintosh!

One other thing I’ve realised that even in September, when it’s still relatively warm, a rubber raincoat is not warm to wear. If I’m going to wear this in winter then I’m going to need to wear some kind of fleece under it.
The one thing about wearing it in public that’s been a real positive for me is that I can no longer slouch. To wear an SBR raincoat in public I have to feel confident and that means holding my head up high, pulling my shoulders back and striding out. It’s the only way to carry it off: ‘Yes, I’m wearing a rubber raincoat and I’m proud of it,’ is the message and I walk down the high street.

I’ve caught several people taking a good long look at me but I’m hoping my confident air carries me through.
I think one reason I felt so self conscious wearing the mackintosh was that Mistress wasn’t with me. Being on my own made it very different so I pleased I spent so much time in the raincoat these past four days.

With Mistress it’s going to be more acceptable to be seen hand in hand with a women – rather than being seen as some lonely old man in mackintosh.

The one thing I’d really love to persuade Mistress is to go for a black PVC trenchcoat. She had red and blue PVC jackets and while she’s been adverse to wearing a black PVC mackintosh around the house, she has developed an aversion for black mackintosh in public, purely, I believe, because of the knowledge she now has about raincoat fetishism – which she only discovered once she met me. The other issue is finding a really nice modern cut raincoat in reasonably heavy black PVC.

Owning an SBR raincoat really brings home to me that they are high maintenance. You can’t let the collar get too much sweat on it or the rubber will degrade. You have to polish the whole thing regularly with silicon-based polish. You can’t let it lie in sunlight or cold. So owning one really is a labour of love.

I’m also scared to death of damaging the surface. Even hanging it up worries me that I’ll permanently crease the collar. Out in shops I’m scared it’ll get caught on a sharp surface, or it’ll get scratched buy someone with an umbrella, or burned by a cigarette end. I treat is with more respect than I’ve ever treated any form of clothing.  I can’t just toss it on a chair in a coffee shop, it has to be folded just so and placed on a chair. I’m constantly scare I’ll crease it.

Does anyone else have such paranoia?

In fact I wonder, how many like-minded people out there actually wearing SBR raincoats in public on a regular basis?

Our punishment charter

Following on from our discussion this past week (see previous post) we also discussed our punishment regime in quite a lot of detail.

Mistress knows I love the fantasy of corporal punishment. It’s the reason Mistress and I began playing corporal punishment games in the first place. But in many ways I hate the reality of a real punishment caning. I also melt at the fantasy of Mistresses dominance. But I don’t take kindly to that either. But the reality is that I need both. Such is the dichotomy of a submissive male with a CP fantasy.....

Our weekly maintenance system is perfect in that we no longer have to worry about when is the right time to use the cane, but we’ve both been saying things need to be a little stricter regime over the next few months to really take our FLR to another level and mould me into a better submissive to ensure I give Mistress my maxim attention.

We’re at a point where Mistress' corporal punishments are something to be feared and, if I’m honest, the situation now is that I actually am a little scared of what she is capable of when she punishes. The result is having a positive benefit – but only when she maintains her assertiveness.

The problem we found is that it’s difficult to use the cane more than once in any week because of the damage to the flesh. But this week we needed to fit in two maintenance sessions and really, there should have been a really serious thrashing one night as well after I quite wrongly, answered Mistress back.

So we both realised the system needed a rethink and spent the last few days throwing ideas around. But it’s quite amusing when we’re out shopping, in the middle of a crowded café and Mistress says, ‘I think we’re relying too much on that one cane and need to make more use of some of our things, like that bath brush you hate.’

We aim to retain - and the 36 stroke tariff.  But to reduce the damage caused by a cane Mistress will now use the bath brush or leather paddle.

My other faults are now graded four different levels that need correction. But how Mistress grades individual cases is entirely down to her. Today’s serious fault might not seem so bad tomorrow so it’s her call. The bottom line is that Mistress now has total control and our new rules and sanctions are designed to allow her to apply her assertiveness on the relationship and ensure I am respectful at all times and carry out my chores as expected.

Here are how those thoughts have become our revised rules. They may look cumbersome but cover everything that Mistress thinks needs correcting. The basic rule of thumb is that Mistress decides if I need punishing and how she punishes me.

GRADE A - Serious faults
We will now only use the thin Dragon when real punishment is required to correct serious faults. This is by far the most effective instrument we have and our thinking is that it should therefore be used for the most serious offences. Our rule is that it will never be used for less than 36 strokes.

GRADE B - Less serious faults
We have plenty of other canes/instruments to use that will still provide a short, sharp shock.

GRADE C - Regular annoying faults
Mistress is getting more and more annoyed with the silly little things that I do or forget to do: like leaving the toilet seat up, leaving the electric shower turned on all day, leaving lights on in rooms we’re not using. So in future she’ll aims to use the lightweight black tawse on my hands each time I break one of these rules.

GRADE D other annoying faults
We will start to use corner time for minor faults. Like last night on the couch. I had no idea I was annoying Mistress but it would have been only right to be sent to the corner to resolve the issue.